HARMONY !

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHINY!!!! Thank you for being there for me and so many others. Reading how far you have come and how well you are doing gets me all choked up so will just send you the biggest most fattest hug for being you. You have no idea how much you have helped me over this past year... oh, well enough said I guess. 😀 Enjoy your birthday darlin!! -joanxxxxxx

Belated Happy birthday Shiny, it was mine a couple of days before, I ate enough cheesecake for both of us. I'm made up to hear that the sale of the shop has finally gone through and that you're putting your feet up a bit more playing candy crush whilst watching the world go by. And why not. What's wrong with a bit of Shiny time? I hope it lasts forever.......

Steve

Morning shiny,

Just to say hello and hope you keeping alright...unless you still celebrating your birthday 😀

Keep doing what you doing and enjoy your well deserved freedom !!!

S x

Yo,

Thank you for your birthday wishes guys .

Really not posting or reading much . So I apologise for not getting back to you all.

Back to work today , but that's ok, need the mental stimulation and the interaction.

Need to be careful here not to isolate myself from the world . Spent a least 3 days out of the last 10 when I have not left the house , or spoken to another person.

My idea of bliss , but sure it's not good long term.

Not going to push myself though , need to get through Xmas , which will be a very tough time , as my Xmas was always about dad , we bought our presents together, I cooked Xmas dinner in his house ect ect .

I have a list , that I will start to address in the new year . Nought to do with work , or the family , things I need to do for myself .

My youngest comes home from uni in 10 days , for a month so the peace and quiet will be a distant memory by the time she returns . Lol

She is a challenging individual , to say the least .

So that's it with me . No thoughts of gambling , starting to pull back on the other addictions that have slotted into my need to be addicted to something place .lol

But that's the story of my life , I have given up fighting my addictive compulsive personality , it's there it ain't going any where , I am not cross or angry I have it , it is what it is . I have come to terms with it and walk along side with it . For me that's enough .:-)

Laters

Shiny xxxxxx

Hey Shiny,

Yes, that IS enough. (((((S)))))) -joanxxxxxx

Hey shiny,

Thank you so much for you kind and honest post..it does ring truth darling ..it does. And i do make myself mad, couse i so struggle to change this behaviour. I will go miles for others..it's ok..i don't mind...but i'm not made of steel too...but nobody wants to see that..as more you do..as more they push..

Yes you are very right...i don't want a lightbulb moment 20 years later..i am getting my strenght to make a change...hard..but nothing is easy in this life...but..as long as the outcome is rewarding and makes us feel happier with ourselves..

I am glad you did just that. As always..inspiration and i'm glad i met you on this forum. Thank you for everything.

Take care xx

Sandra x

P.s.Candy crush? ...stuck on level 158!! B astard lol lol for a month now..heh heh.

( maybe that's why i get panic attacks lol)

Morning shiny

A much belated birthday wishers so apologies like urself I'm not on as often as I used to be

The shop all been sorted is a huge step forward and should take some of the stress away, the future looks so good for u and u deserve all the happiness that comes ur way

Now I think we are both finding out who we really are and what we are capable off, by stopping gambling and more importantly dealing with the issues in our lives bit by bit making brave decisions we never knew we were capable of

Let the happy days begin of course keeping an open mind of what could happen if we take our eye off the ball

For today though really pleased for us both all the hard work is really starting to pay off

Castle2

Hey Shiny..

Hope your list of to do's for yourself starts "dear Santa" ..lol

It's a great idea and a good way to start the new year with a list if intentions. There is something about the power of the written word I think and when you write stuff down it seems to materialise better...

I made a list last year...practical stuff mind, but when I looked at it this week from a year ago...it's all ticked off bar the garden shed.

Hoping you have some quality time with your youngest whom I believe she and I may be out of the same mould.

The word "challenging " is often one used to describe me ...lol lol ...is she is fire sign? Heh heh heh

Anyhooo keep candy crushing ...

R and D xx

Hey Shiny one 😉

Thank you for your kind encouragement to stay off work 🙂 i am off for the weekend anyway..lol...lucky..heh heh

No sleep for me, getting a bit panicky about possible flooding, so thoughts are racing around even quicker, but couple of pain killers later i am on a cloud nine lol and headache easing off 🙂

Don't know how you managed to get over that sneaky level at candy crush...must be pure luck lol ( not saying that you are not intelligent...couse u obviously are heh heh)

Glad it is all good with ya, hope you are safe and not threatened with storm.

Keep living your new chapter of life Shiny..keep calm and carry on !!!

take care and thank you for all the support you gifting me in this journey..most appreciated xx

Hugs ((((((((((((((((((( Shiny )))))))))))))))))))))))

S x

Shiny Shiny...I DID IT!!! :-)I just completed that level and now am on 159 !!! Lol...i can imagine u are on level 250 already lol...( i just thought i share my joy lol)

Ahh..i am happy, it annoyed me for couple of months haha .

Now...hope all is good with ya and you are preparing for festive season.

A little update would be fab 🙂

Take care

((((( Shiny )))))

S x

Yo,

Life is good for me . Went Xmas shopping last week, first time ever the urge to gamble did not leap into my brain.

Went about my business and it was not until I got home it dawned on me . That at no point had I been temped to try to recoup my spend .

Although the shops gone , still tiring up loose ends . But that's ok , it really is not stressfull .

My ex , I think after 8 months has know accepted that I ain't coming back, or at his beck and call will no longer act as his PA .

My youngest is home from uni for a month , which is ok , bit of a challenge , and peace has been disrupted for a while , but I know that it will resume shortly , so not letting it get me down ..

Felt my family were putting too much presure on me bout Xmas day . And took a decision that I would not do anything I did not want to , to placate people .

It will be a tough day , as it was such a big thing when dad was here .

So I am ordering in curry , lying on the couch watching tv all day . Sure next year I will feel differently , and if I don't that's ok .

Because my new mantra is, I am no longer guardian of everyone else's happiness only my own .

God look at me turning into a selfish b itch . Lol

Shiny xxxxxxx

Ha!!

Welcome to my world Shiny! Heh heh ...

It's liberating ain't it? ...on the commitment side of things these days I just don't do commitment to anything as I want the option to change my mind.

Having said that I also do not have my cake and eat it and fully expect that other people can drop plans at will aswell .

Ive always been that way to be honest, less about considering others , more cos I need a parachute :-)))

I have the policy of if you see me you see me, start without me , I will sort my own food out etc,,

No expectation!

hang loose man!

R and D xx

Shiny,

You have ruined my moment. I was planning on wallowing in self pity for the rest of my life. Seeing as it's you and you've always been very nice to me I will try hard to cut down on the "poor wee me" posts. Can't promise anything.

Hope you are well.

Thanks for the post on my other diary reference there being a port in the midst of every storm or something to that effect. That is what brought me back here.

Tomso.

Yo,

A bit of a rant here.

So obviously Xmas day is a bit awkward for me .

My siblings who were at my side through my dads cancer , are desperate for me to have Xmas dinner with them .

My brother in law told one of my brothers that it would be the bested present I could give my eldest brother to attend Xmas dinner with them .

It is my biggest brother who is letting me live rent free in the house he owns the major share of.

But my children are not invited , because my youngest behaviour at times is totaly out of order as proved the day of the funeral when she called my eldest brother a f. Ing wan..........

So I am torn , having left my husband I really feel that I can not look to choose my siblings over my own kids .

So much pressure , at the end of the day I did my very best to care for my dad , I got an Xmas card from my big brother saying that he would always be in debt for the love and devotion I showed my dad .

At the end of the day I refuse , let me say that again I refuse to be guardian of every one else's happiness.

So my Xmas day will be spent watching Netflix and a take out curry .

The rest of ummmmmmmmm well it's unto them.

Shiny xxx

Hi Shiny,

Totally agree with your post. Up till now i can't understand families where they try to pick the 'odd one ' if you get what i mean. It's like somebody i know would say: i am inviting you round and ur sister, but i don't want ur dad there. w*f is wrong with ppl? Family is family. Shouldn't be any exceptions.

Ok, rant here darling, sorry... I am only dropping presents round my sis...planing to spend my Xmas on the road....if you being slagged for the whole year, why would Xmas make any difference?...

Thank you for your support

Take care

Sandra x