HARMONY !

Shiny,

Big fat strong hug coming your way ((((((((((( S )))))))))))

I hope you still looking after no 1 :-))

I am bk posting, my never ending fight with this addiction and myself start bringing more strength and belief back in me...and you are part of it :-))

This time will take it eeaasssyyy.....no strings attached lol

Love Sandra xxxx

Hey Shiny :-)))

I wish I was mrs lol...or maybe not haha...

mrs for married ppl? If I get it right? Still single ms Sandra...arrr...get violin out lol

hope you are ok hun?

P.s. still didn't master my candy crush!!!

P.P.s. Day 234 including my £2 slip...am I proud of myself?? HELL I AM 😀

Take care mrs Shiny or are u Mr??? Lol

Hugs ((((((((( Shiny )))))))

Lol lol...yep..similar, living in a vilage, had one cat which run away...and saving poor male souls from my character...can't keep them rocking in a corner on my off days lol lol

Take care girl..

Now i'm late for work!! :-D...thanx xxx

Yo,

Update about me!!!!!!

Ended up going to my siblings for Xmas and Boxing Day . Suppose being the first year without dad , they wanted me there . Think they see me as the needy one out of the 4 of us , and I have no doubt that dad told them all to look after me .

It's a bit of reap what you sow, the nervous break down and a month in rehab although nearly 10 years ago , still rippling through my life .

Note to self : I will not be sooooo needy in 2014 !

Been working a lot , no two week break over Xmas for me . And have my youngest living with me . Which to be honest I really do not like , but it's only till the end of the month , at which time she will move into rented accommodation. She dropped out of Uni , but intends to apply to a local uni , to start in sept .

So all good with me , no thoughts out gambling , still take precautions . Like I need new suits , but today did not go into town , with my bank card and the time to find myself pulled by that invisible thread , that has the ability to find yourself standing in front of an FOBT , wondering how the hell did that happen .

So suit buying will take place , on my way to work . When the clock ticking , and the triangle is broken . ( re Duncs time money opportunity .)

Shiny xxxx

Shiny,

That was a lovely post on my diary. Thank you very much.

I don't need new suits just new trousers. Or I could just wait for three weeks until I work all the Quality Street off my backside and then I will fit into them once again.

Tomso.

Hello Shiny...( or are u my guardian angel? 🙂 )

Thank you so much for sharing ur thoughts about......yep....work lol lol 🙂

You are right, we are too good at what we do!!! ( not too big headed lol )...no, seriously, sometimes it looks like I'm the only one in a company, who has to put up with all the s**t being thrown our way.

I do blow my lid ( like last night ) prob 10 hrs spend reeving up.. I fully take the blame when it's my fault, no doubt in that....but when I see them all taking wrong and unfair approach about situation...that's it....I'm like destroying rocket let in a space lol

always determined to guard innocent body....doesn't do me any good, but...I am a fighter for the rights and fairness....

Maybe need to join army ...with my fighting character...worth thinking about it 😉

Wow...ramble on ur diary...sorry

Hugs hun and soooo well done for ur continued abstinence....let's kick baddies arses!!!!

Love and hugs Hun (((((( S )))))

Sandra - crazy a**e fighter 🙂 xxxx

Shiny

My shinyt friend, as our good esteemed friend The honourable Mr.I.B says everything happens for a reason, those urges just help to remind me who I can be.

Like you a winner, by making a choice

No bet today.

chink chink

Thanks for being there.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Yo,

So like our lovely Sandra , work is a bit tough at present .

Putting in a lot of hours and have several major projects running along side each other.

If I was in the same situation as I was last year , still working 2 jobs , and living with my husband . I know I would be struggling to keep hold of my recovery .

Desperate to find an escape , release from over active thoughts which mostly questioned my own abilities or the decisions ( at work) I had made .

Once again raising the bar on myself too high ...

Far too much second guessing going on.

I today have no inclination to gamble , but can feel myself getting over tired , and with that allowing the destructive forces that pull down my self confidence taking hold .

The shear fact that I am aware of it , is a massive leap forward for me . Time to say to myself , STOP, this self harming does you no favours and achieves nought .

3 tough days at work ahead , till I get a much needed rest . Am I on my guard ? Too right , just because I have no inclination to gamble , it was times like this that I was at my most vulnerable .

Today I leave the house with no bank card , and a couple of quid in my purse , keeping hold of the fact I WANT a new lounge carpet , and I ain't gonna get it , if I pay my money into the bottomless pit of a FOBT instead of carpet right lol

Take care you all , over and out the door .

Shiny xx

Hey Shiny,...(partner in crime lol )

I hear you too darling...Stacking shelves in Co-op sounds like a bliss at the moment lol...but it is what it is and have to try and control my frustrations and keep the "proffesional" level intact lol..yep..after yesterday i might need straight jacket lol..( only body language which can say more than you planned to say lol..work in progress to put that lid back on)

I am just glad for you Shiny that ur stress levels a lower than it was while you had two jobs on ur shoulders. I fully agree for the need to look for that escape.

And i am with you, that getting overtired plays big part in making decisions. I do try to steer away from self destruction mode, start reading more, anything to put work matters aside.

Anyway, 3 days for you girl (2 and a half really lol ) and one more night for me..and then - boom -peace and quiet with ourselves...till next time we back in lol...

Such is this wonderful life, just have to overcome all the s**t being thrown at us...in a calmer manner..of course ( slapping my wrists here )

Take care sweetie...push through it and come out the other end 🙂

Sandra x

Yo,

Sits down and breaths a great big sigh .

Days off, been a very long week , full of lots of stress dealing with some very tough staff issue .

But here I am made through the other side ....as Sandra says.

Now it would be very very easy to lie in bed , or loose myself in candy crush trying to get to level 453 , ( hats off to maybe). But that would not move my life on .

Last week I was supposed to do the last finial accounts for the shop, and managed to convince myself that I was too low to do them .

But they haven't magically disappeared , mores the pity .

When I was gambling I most defo found imaginative ways to put things off . Never had the time to do this that or the other , finding excuses that I was tooooooo low having lost more money putting my responsibilities and chores on the back burning day after dat after day . In my case and I suspect countless others I would obsess about how I was going to pay my bills or cover my tracts . Going over and over and over it again and again . Hour after hour wasted, either standing I front of a machine , or sitting thinking . When I could have just got on and done what I needed to do .

The new me is working hard at not doing that . I may have talked myself out of doing the accounts last week , but as much as I have pottered around this morning, I am grabbing a pen and off to do the deed.

The funny thing is , is once done I will feel that weight lifted off my shoulder, a sense of achievement once completed.....so why not just bite bullet.

Laters,

Shiny xxxxx

My shiny friend

Is there no end to your talents???

Glad to read that you are treating yourself with the respect you deserve.

Well done my friend well done.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Glad I raised a smile Shiny, but I'm even happier to hear you're doing well and in full control of your destiny. You've come such a long way, some people only grow the height of a mere daisy or a humble buttercup. Yet you, my dear, are a sunflower.

Keep strong, enjoy how far you've came.

Monty Lazarus x

Hi shiny... its great to read how you have been following your gut feeling in life and doing what's been good for Shiny and not simply going through life pleasing others.

You are in control of your life now and a shinning example to me and many others am sure.

Doing rather than thinking about doing is very much the way forward. take care and thanks for your support... S.A 🙂

Yo,

Thank you peeps for your posts ,quite like being a sunflower . Steg that image will stay with me forever !

So I was sitting in my garden (with my coat on ) just enjoying relaxing after a 10hr shift , and was thinking bout celebrating blessings . You see it's something we do not do enough . To much time is spent in the woe is me mentality . So I ask of you , my dear dear followers to take a second or two hear my blessings and maybe just maybe think about your own

1) I have gainfull employment( which lots of folk don't)

2) I have a father who through careful planning provided for his children (ensuring their security even after his death) thank goodness he was not a compulsive gambler ,

3) I have a very generous big brother who was a compulsive gambler but turned it all around , and allows me to live rent free in the house him and my dad owned .

4) I have other siblings who only want me to be happy and have taken a slight knock finacialy to allow that to happen

5) I have 2 daughters who I love but reading my eldest message on my youngest birthday card , they have a bond that no one can break , it brought tears to my eyes . (That's rare by the way )

6) I have by not gambling created a life for myself , gifted through the 2 years I have been privileged to be a part of this gamcare family

Today I feel truely blessed , a year ago it was impossible to see what was out there for me . I hated my life , to an extent that I could not care if I lived or died.

I would ask that you my dear reader, sit and take stock of your blessings , I read today if you do not have a goal then you run up and down the pitch without scoring .

Anything is achievable , you just need to give up gambling , make a plan or your desired outcome and work towards it .

Could take a year , or five ,or ten but never loose sight of what you want or need as a person . Oh and stop feeling sorry for yourself , I believe that compulsive addictive behaviour is an illness or condition. Can it rule your life , ..............?.

Only if you let it !!!

It never goes way , but we can manage it , if we stop feeling sorry for ourselves , and yep live in Harmony .

As they say, nothing changes if nothing changes .

Shiny xxxx

Hey Shiny,

Ditto Julie here..great post and we do forget what we have around us sometimes( too busy with work or battling this adiction )

You are right, we got a lot in our lives we should be thankful for.

Gonna count my blessings too... :-))

Thanx for sharing!!!

Keep it up and don't stay outside for too long (even with coat on) it's getting coolllddd brrrrr lol lol xx

Take care girl

Sandra xx