What a beautiful day, woke up to glorious sunshine birds singing, great walk over the fields with the dog to start my day, I think today is going to be a good one, I feel happy and content and I am very much looking forward to the weekend ahead.
just messaged my partner to say how I'm excited about everything like a little kid, planting some flowers tonight, and treating ourselves to pizza, football is on tomorrow, we are then going to a BBQ at our best friends house and Sunday we are taking the dog to the reservoir.
Work is better too, my boss pulled me to one side yesterday, I think he had seen I was struggling with what I had done, he was so reassuring which put my mind slightly at ease.
And on top of all that I had a full unbroken 8 hours sleep last night probably for the first time in about a year.
I feel so lucky and humbled for our little life today. If I can try and work on myself forgiving myself mostly or been more understanding with myself, I should have the perfect little weekend ahead.
5 days to go, until I hit my first GF month.
Great weekend so far, spent time with my mum Friday evening, great day in the sunshine bbqing with friends yesterday, although a little worse for wear this morning. So a day pottering in the garden and reading for me. Still rejoicing in the joys of my gamble free days. Starting to feel free.
4 weeks ago today I took control of my life and it has by far been the best thing I have ever done in years
@deborah270882 Hi Deb. Sorry to hear this but all I would say is that your employers DID NOT call the police. This tells me that they value you working for them. They DID NOT sack you. Again, this tells me that they are good employers who have been empathic to your reasons for doing what you did and even more - having the decency/guts to own up to them 👏👏👏. Many other people in this position would probably say nothing and just hope for the best! You have an agreement in place to pay them back so this is another positive.
I can understand how you must feel going in each day and no doubt, if you are a proud person (as am I), this is not sitting comfortably with you.
What I would suggest is, each morning, remind yourself that you are doing your utmost best to better things, not just for yourself but for your family and your employers. Each morning tell yourself how grateful you are to still have your job and that you will go in with a smile on your face - even if it doesn’t last - telling yourself this can help shift your mindset. I do this most mornings 😆.
After going from working three days per week, back to full time at aged 61, I feel the strain and most mornings, as soon as I wake up, I wish I did not have to go to work. I then start reminding myself that there are many benefits to having a job, working full time and with a lovely bunch of people and most importantly, I am healthy enough to be able to!
Just hang in there. I bet your employers are thinking more admirably about you inside, after you confessing to them. Much better that, than for them to have found out that money was going missing and then them having to investigate who was the culprit. They also appear to understand how gambling is an addiction and for many, an illness.
Stay positive Deb and make sure you have a good day today doing at least one thing that you know you will enjoy 👍.
Take care.
Pink Lady 🩷🍎.
@j5a6meyr4z Thank you, I have had an amazing weekend yet again, honestly can't believe the difference in myself after only 4 weeks, but it is the best feeling ever, and I know like last week, I will have bad days, I find the guilt a bit over bearing at times. It can take a while to bring myself back around and my little support circle is always on hand. I couldn't do this without my family, and I am so grateful to be in this position, I can see it can be a lot tougher for other people.
Your words are kind, and I am finding gamcare and the people on here such a big help in my recovery, I did not realize the problem was so widespread and common, makes me feel less alone.
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