I can do this

Hi Jane and welcome to this supportive site. Huge steps are being made by admitting you have this problem, opening up to your family and starting your journey on here. Losses will never come back so don't dwell on the past... and only by abstaining every single day you will make your life better and calmer place to be. Commit to your recovery, fight any arising urges (I'm afraid it is not a smooth sail going forward) and no doubt you will come out a winner. Be true and honest to yourself, there will be more doors opening to freedom and harmony. One more thing i can suggest - blocks, blocks, blocks. If you gamble online, self exclude from the sites and a little blocking software will defo come handy 🙂 try K9, it is for free and does it's job well. (The only condition is asking someone else to put password in for you)...this said, i wish you well, keep on the right track - it will get better. Believe in yourself. Step at a time...it is not a race...take it steady and at your own pace..Be kind to yourself. Sandra xx

Hi Jane ,

You have joined the right site this time! There are many of us who were lured into bingo and then slots. They are designed by brain experts who know how to keep us hooked. The slots are so addictive but nobody wins on them.

You may find it easier to not gamble at all than to try and control it. Decide to give up gambling completely and your life will be so much better . I am on Day 141 and will never go back. Once we cross the line from social gambling to problem gambling we have to give it up completely. Otherwise it will escalate. You too can do it . Don't give those online slots another penny. You cannot win on them.

Jane ...keep up the diary... We will all help you to quit.

Take care ,

Suzy

Thank you both for you comments. I just need to stay focused and aware of what I am doing as I think I use gambling as away of trying to get the things I want quicker - which never happens! I always end up worse off. I have finally admitted to myself that I have a problem and I have admitted this to my husband; he has said that he will help me. I am going to start by cancelling my overdraft so that I can't spend what I haven't got and I have set up a standing order that goes out on payday into his account which means that I won't be able to credit any accounts. I blocked my 'usual' account so that I couldn't use it but out of stupidity I opened a new account with another site - I have emailed them to cancel this account and explained the reason why and they replied saying that I can reinstate it at anytime!

Anyway I won't be going back on there I have deleted everything.

I have said to my husband that I need a focus something to save for.....I would love a new car, so maybe that could be the long term goal?

The end of the first full day without spending any money on gambling of any description. It has been hard but I have kept myself busy. Here's to day 2 xx

Hi Jane,

Welcome to the forum, where you have realised you are not on your own.

You have already made some huge steps by telling your partner, I know how hard that is, and by coming on here and admitting that you have a problem. So very well done for that.

I am a CG who was in the grip of online slots for 8 years, I am now over 6 months gamble free, and getting my life back.

I like your title because YOU can do this if you really want to.

Don't be too hard on yourself, and take just one day at a time, it helps to just concentrate on the day.

Remember you cannot win because you cannot stop, but you do win every day you don't play.

I wish you the very best on your new journey of recovery.

Best wishes.

Suzanne x

Hi Jane,

Well done on your Day 1.

It is the most important day of all and you got through it . Take it hour by hour, or even minute by minute today and you will get through it too. Be kind to yourself. You are changing your life around. Don't get involved in family dramas or anthing stressful . All that matters is to get a string of non gambling days together and everything will work itself out. Saving up for a car is a great idea. So much better than giving it to the slots companies. That's what it is.... Handing over your hard earned cash. You were the winner yesterday, you didn't give them a penny. Do the same today and you are the winner. You can do this.

Take care,

Suzy

Thank you both for your comments. Today as been quite hard in the sense I have really wanted to go on line but easy by the fact I cant due to 1. Being blocked 2. Having no access to funds.

I have kept myself busy - we are having some work done on the house so that has helped. I will keep strong for Day 3 onwards and upwards!!

Dear My Non Gambling self - I would like to think when I read this back one day this will be who will be reading this!

I wasn't able to get on line to complete my diary yesterday - I think my phone had a bug ha ha!! Anyway yesterday was a good day I thought about gambling a handful of times - it's strange how now that I haven't got access or funds to play I think about it more - I don't think I thought about It before I just did it! I wouldn't think nothing at all about giving a machine hundreds of pounds but if I had £100 now in my hand now I wouldn't just chuck it away! I would want to buy something for my house or a treat for my husband. So why didn't I see spending my hard earnt money as chucking it in the bin??? I have been thinking quite a lot about how much I have lost - it's making me feel sick, but I know that thinking like this won't do me any good and may lead me to try and win it back (again)

Day 4 almost complete! On wards and upwards to Day 5

a big well done to you 4 days going strong and you have dealt with the urges and have barriers in place and each day you get through will be a win FOR YOU not the stinking machines/bingo etc etc....the days will soon become weeks and then months just take a day at a time and keep strong...x

Thank you, Forrest! Monday's I would usually be on the bingo/slots as my limit would of been reset, so it's been a little strange. I need to have a focus for my days off so that I don't spent hours just sat down looking at my laptop. Tomorrow I have planned to go food shopping so that I can cook some things from scratch, cooking is something I enjoy doing but I have been doing less and less of it lately instead I have wasted hours on the slots! Hopefully this will benefit me in two different ways xx

I have done something today that I have never done before, I manage to cash in some "winning" (this is a joke by the way as although they are 'winning' tickets in reality I am getting less than I put out to buy them!) anyway I cashed them all in £100 and I didn't buy 1!! I didn't even want to buy any xx

Hi Jane,

It's great to see you doing so well. I am shouting at you to keep it up because life after gambling is wonderful ! One day at a time and you will get there. Every day you don't gamble your head clears a little bit more. Don't feed the addiction , starve it instead. You can have lovely things for yourself and your family without the dreaded G word . You are making friends on here and doing so well. Don't get caught out with free spins or bonus matches coming up to Xmas..... It's all nonsense. Just a marketing ploy to get us to hand over our money. Us Gamcare ladies are the only winners!!

Take care ,

Suzy

Hi Jane,

6 days today, one whole week tomorrow, of winning because you are not gambling.very well done.

Stay strong and positive starving that addiction one day at a time, it hates that,

Those bonuses are to lure us back in, don't even go there, they only give us those, knowing we will then deposit.

Remember we cannot win because we cannot stop.

Take care

Suzanne xx

Hi Suzy,

Thank you for taking the time to post in my diary! It is very much appreciated having the support of other people.

I am still buzzing a little after yesterday, the first time ever that I have been able to go to the lottery counter without buying a scratch card or 6! Plus I have now got £100 of my money back which has gone towards doing up the house so that means my hubbie has some extra money left over this money too.

The only real downer of the day was I looked at my bank statements - I mean really looked at them and not just what I have left like I usually do - it made me feel physically sick on how much

I have lost! But I know I shouldn't think about that as it could make me want to lose even more money.

Thanks again, today is Day 6 and I will not chuck any more of my money in the bin xx