I cannot win because I cannot stop

Hi mate,

Keep your head up! Think positive.

Gambling is negative! You don't need it!

Go and take a nice walk outside and take in the surroundings and think of what you want from life and how your going to get there.

Is there someone you can talk to about your finances?

Stay strong

Hi stu,

Welcome back and do hope you're staying on here for longer. Hopefully you can find recovery again and as you know yourself, it is possible to set yourself free. Slow and long process, but every day counts and progress will be made.

Keep looking for help and support, it is out there, just need to ask for it

Looking forward seing your progress and willing you on unconditionally!

Stay safe

Sandra x

Stu, I know (as we ALL do) the exact feelings you're going through, guilt and betrayal, I've cried salt tears in the corner with my head in my hands wondering how I'm going to tell my wife AGAIN I've lost everything after bouncing back and getting back on my feet AGAIN! My only advise is chap, use US as your strength, use US as your motivation, do not let US down, we've all been there, log in, read our stories, our history and our success....Block access to any gambling sites, let someone take total control of your finances, stop making excuses for YOUR failings and totally forget about what you've lost....its history, you will never win it back, you will only ever win by not trying to win, it is as simple as that...live everyday 1 day at a time and write it down everyday, I have a BIG chalkboard on my kitchen door and it gets rubbed out everyday with the next numerical number....today it's 58, and that is possibly the longest I've abstained from gambling for over 30 years! YOU CAN DO THIS, it's not easy, no one will ever tell you it is, live by what I live by, the motto of 'never trust those that lye to you, and never lye to those that trust you' We now all trust that you'll come on here and share your success!!! I never end with 'good luck' because there's no luck involved in success, only hard work and pride....so be proud and successful, win by not trying to win!!!!!

Stu

​fella again the doors revolve to recovery.as the honourable Sandra wrote hope you stick around. Often i think back to my own gambling life and think of the countless times that I sought to find a way out of another financial mess only to get straight back at it as soon as the coast was clear. My friend the financial fall out is a symptom of our compulsion not the sole reason why we gamble. Without doubt to truly enter recovery you have to want to seek change,to truly want to put a halt to the emotional and destructive life that you live as an active gambler. I hope you stay on the right side of the revolving door,I know how much hard work and effort it takes,also I know fully the countless rewards on offer.the truth is only you can take it,recovery can't be sold to you,nor can you buy it cheaply.I hope to see you embrace it.abstain and maintain

duncs stepping forward never back.

​

​

​

Thank you Deanyboy, Sandra, Anon and Duncs. I know you are right. Thanks for your acceptance and encouragement.

DAY2- am feeling overwhelmed with guilt and shame at what I have become, at what I have done, at the money I have lost. As you say Deanyboy I know I can't go back and change the past- I wish I could. I think I did see gambling as a magic pill that could end all the misery by giving me 'the big win', but really all it gave me was a load more stress, pain and debt.

I know I cannot change the past and accept full responsibility for it. I know I only have today. I am not going to screw up today. I am going to live today with a thankful heart trying to make amends where possible for what I have done.

Yesterday I played football with my lovely kids and did some gardening- today will be more of the same. Counting my blessings.

Stux

Its difficult in the early days to see the benefits of the future. The pain and financial consequences are still very fresh. I too felt the same. I am currently at 89 days and feeling the best I have in over 25 years. I am a slightly different person I believe and can only see the benefit the future holds.

Initially I couldn't sleep, maybe 3 hours a night, my brain just rushing at full pelt, constant dreams about gambling. All these things lessen over time. We are effectively going cold turkey, so it will be hard, but the hard work is worth it.

The past is exactly that, nothing we can do about it, about the loses, about the hurt to family members. Once you can forgive yourself and ignore the past, the quicker your recovery can start. You need a plan to deal with your debts, contact all concerned and expalin the circumstances, virtually all will have a plan for you. I once rany YW and explained my plight, the lady at the other end was very unstanding and at the end of the call wished me luck, I got a little kick from it. Ignoring debt is the worst you can do, deal with them all and start to move on.

I couldn't imagine 3 months of no gambling and the benefits, all I could think of was the current mess.

Also, tell all those close to you, family friends, you will need their support and understanding, I get great strength from them all, also, should you consider gambling again, there are a lot more people in your thoughts that you would upset, not just yourself.

Finally, get yourself to a GA meeting. I go every week and find it a great help. I actually enjoy going now and its a fixed part of my week and nothing else other than holidays can stop me going. I see it as a reset button after the gambling devil has chipped away at me through the week, it refocuses my mind and sets me up for the week ahead.

Keep at it, and remeber, one day at a time and your life will get better.

Also, your date should be very important to you. The date of your very last bet, it should become as important as your birthday, celebrate it, be protective of it like a child, guard it like your home.

I went to the exteme of having it tattooed onto my forearm. Its there every day, i see it several times an hour. It makes me smile. I don't want it crossing out, I don't want a new date.

Thanks Trotty12feet- good words.

DAY 3

I saw a photo the other day of me and my wife that was taken 5 years ago, we were dressed up to go out to a charity fundraising event. I looked a lot happier and a lot lighter. I have piled on the pounds since I started gambling.

I want those happy times back again.

A new day, the new start continues. I will not gamble today and will continue to try to make amends for what I have done.

have a good day everyone

Stux

Day 4

so lovely to see the sunshine.

Feeling very emotional these last couple of days. Tears. Continuing to feel so rubbish about what I have done, but am trying to live in the moment and live well. For too long now my actions have caused hurt and upset.

I have not gambled today and will not do so for the rest of the day, and will try to make amends for what I have done in the past.

keep strong

Stux

Well done Stu, day by day mate

Good work Stu. 4 days richer mate.

Keep up the work.

T

Day 5

thanks Trotty and Anon.

Hearing about those poor migrants drowning on the boats in the Med. sea does tend to put my problems in perspective. Yes I feel gloomy and my finances are up the creek but it could be a lot worse. Today is DAY 5 it doesn't sound much but it is an achievement, so I am thankful for that and for all the blessings that are in my life.

Today I will not gamble and will try and make amends for the harm I have done.

Stux

Yeah. Their path to a better life is far harder and dangerous than ours. Puts it into perspective.

Be proud of 5 days.

DAY 6

I am feeling soooo grumpy- withdrawl I think, just part of the journey. Lots of urges today but I haven't gambled. I am amazed at how quickly I forget the feeling of utter despair that I get when I lose all my money for the month and then the old cycle was, within a few days, I would be back gambling again after I had found some more money from somewhere, somehow. No I don't want that thank you very much. I don't want a bank statement that is full of gambling transactions and pay day loans. I want stability...and freedom from gambling.

get lost gambling

Today I will not gamble and will try and make amends for what I have done.

Stux