I would like to know if you guys that stay gamble free, have your days when you still dwell on your losses.. I am afraid that shock and sad memories will stay with me for life..
About year and a half ago I have lost around 25 K which I still cannot process it.. I relapsed once in may this year loosing 450 pounds on online poker, which I think is a scam, I dont know why is that the country allows this.. cant there be only casinos where you go and gambe, why so much gambling when it has ruined so many families... My stomach still feels sick. I am 27 years old man, still have time to make money but its still too much money to me. I worked hard for that money and its all gone. luckily I had some other savings on account that I didnt have credit card from..
maybe I could have bought a home, or a nice car with that money...
I wasnt married at the time when it happened. My now wife was only a girlfriend in that time. I would like to tell her but I think the amount of money will shock her. So I have no strenght.
at the moment things got stable financially. I moved to a different country. No longer living in the UK. but I could have been better with those 25k..
I want my money so bad, but dont wanna gamble.. its still hard to accept that my money is gone.. I just want my money back but thats not possible. even if I won them back, I will probably lose them again..
Life is a bit easier when I havent gambled now for so long, but I still struggle with self respect, guilt, shame, saddness.. I cannot forgive myself somehow. I comitted a theft during my gambling time of few months, I felt so sick about it, vomited, cried..
But if God is so good, and forgiving, who are WE, to not forgive ourselves. God doesnt want us dwelling on our sins, but with faith in him, and love to move on with our lives.. and sin no more..
For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death. 2 Corinthians 7:10
The money is gone. The money is gone. The money is gone. But you have your whole life before you.
You are so lucky. You have life. You have a second chance to live now. Take it. Don't waste it thinking about what will never come back. Life is so precious. Use it because every day we lose it
Onwards and Upwards bro, need to chin up and look forward. I know it's hard but you have to try to forget the past. You're only 27 and still have a whole life in front of you. I would advise you to be honest with the wife about everything and start a new chapter because as long as you have access to money and gambling sites then I'm afraid there is every possibility of having a repalse again. Especially, that you can't let go of your losses and you might be tempted to chase it again. Prevention is better than cure.
If you haven't done it yet then you should start with self excluding yourself from your all online gambling sites, local bookies and casinos. Gamban is a great app to install on your phone. Have an honest chat with the wife about your gambling issue and hand her over the finances including access to your credit report. We compulsive gamblers think that we can beat this addiction alone keeping the problem to ourselves. At the end of the day we are compulsive gamblers, we are liars, masters of manipulators. We need support from our loved ones and we can't get that unless we become honest and truth. I'm confident that your wife will support you and she will always be your side throughout this journey. Like I said ,you are only 27 and you have the whole life in front of you. Forget the past and think of the future.
I'm 29 and I've been gamble free only for 8 months. I probably lost over 50 grand and I must have had loads of relapses over the years. Why? because I wasn't honest to myself or to my girlfriend and family. I always thought I could beat this illness alone. I was wrong. I said enough is enough and let it all off my chest and took actions to tackle my issue. Now, I have no more secrets, I don't have to lie anymore. Life is simple but it's great. Yes, the feeling of losing that sort of money does come to my mind sometimes and to be honest I just ignore it and let it go because I know that as long as I don't gamble for the rest of my life, I'm a winner and I shall have a great future.
I hope you have a great gamble free life. All the best.
Pras
Thank you all for your support. It's the first me sharing my experience. As you said. It's just money at the end. I am lucky enough to probably not have debt. I do not feel like gambling again. That's not honest money.. so I won't be happy with them. I have a newborn daughter. I became a father she is everything for me now. I know it would be nice to share this with my wife and I know she will support me.. because she believes in me. But I decide not to for now. It's a past. The money is gone. I still have good amount of savings. My salary ain't that bad now.. my new job is gonna bring me around 40 k annual salary.. I will earn my money with work. Don't wanna gamble again. But the feelings of shame, loosing self respect, committing a theft .. that is gonna take much longer. Thank you all. There is so many good souls here
hi thedude1991 i responded to a post of yours in a previous thread in the intros section. i know what you mean about thinking about the money that you lost. That is the hardest thing to come to terms with. i am 35 years old female and lost a lot more than what you lost if its any consolation. 10 years savings down the drain. i was saving up for my first property and now that dream is gone. i am overdrawn for the first time ever and its so hard. i dont know how i can live with the fact that i lost SO much money over this evil curse of gambling. i like what signalman said, life is precious. at the moment it doesnt feel like it but it is true. good luck all
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