I Will Not Gamble Today.

Ibeginagain wrote:

Hi Unknown,

Day 2 for me my friend, stick by it you will get there, it is good you have a plan in place looking back on your earlier posts, infact it has inspired me to do such a similar idea. Like yourself I have debt which is crippling my life and I need to fight back, I am only a message away if you want to have a chat

Hello mare. Yeah it helps me to write it all down, how much I owe. Sometimes you'll feel like you're not getting anywhere but looking back on it you can physically see the progress you're making. Psychological because either way you're paying off debt. Or at least should be. Keep it up!

FAILED ATTEMPT 2 - Another weekend gone another failed attempt to stop gambling. 4th week running that I've survived the week then lost my way on the weekend. Went to a friend's house on friday to watch football, lost some money on a bet, tried making it back yesterday. Lost a lot of money. 2nd week running that I've lost a LOT of money. Bank account has taken a hammering. I won't be able to build my savings back up until May, my whole pay check basically gets paid straight back out, then I have around 1000 in my savings to fall back on incase I need it. Then in May, my expenses go down and my savings can build back up.

I did something crazy yesterday, and I think this will be a major turning point. I told my girlfriend, I told the person closest to me. My friends of course already knew something was wrong. My girlfriend knew I gambled but had no idea how bad it was. We spoke about it for a while, she was dissapointed of course, angry.. I could go on. She said only I can really stop for good, which is true. I've told her that yesterday was my last time. And it is.. I feel guilt, angry, but somewhat enthusiastic that this time I will stop? I've made promises, I can't see myself going back. I think that now I've told someone I can get better.

Day 1 - I haven't gambled all of today, the money I lost in the last month makes me feel really bad, sick. It's going to be a long road. So much harder than I thought. But I'm not going to pretend. No more lies. I've accepted that I've relapsed. But I feel better now that I've told someone.

ALN wrote: Unknown L, excellent starting point telling the girlfriend, great opportunity to move forward. So jealous that you're only 19 and have been wise enough to consider stopping now. Jumping off the bus to self destruction sometimes takes people a lifetime. A lifetime of regret, regression, degradation, and many lost relationships. The best advice I can give would be to hand over all financial control to a member of your family or girlfriend for a time just to manage the urges, as well as banning yourself from websites and bookies you frequent. Just have pocket money for a while, and provide receipts for money spent. In a few months you may be okay to take back control, or maybe you may feel better without. Just need a few barriers in place to move forward. Not many can do GA at such a young age but possibly give it a try. It helps sharing your own thoughts and listening to others and very humbling when you help someone through your own advice. Wishing you good luck.

Thanks a lot for your comment - I turned 20 last week, I can seriously see myself gambling in years time if I do not stop now, that's why I need to change. It would be perfect if I could ban myself from bookies because then I would have no other options to gamble. The problem is that would staff actually do anything to kick me out? would they even bother? This is why I haven't done it.. I'll look into it though. Thanks!

Day 2 - Agreed to a debt management plan. Mainly because the sainsbury loan is originally meant to be paid in 3 years. With the DMP everything should be paid off in just over a years time, which is much better. It just means I won't have loads of money to myself per month, but I'll still enough to save money and go out etc. So I'm willing to make that sacrifice. Just finalising everything. Will have more information tomorrow. Not gambled today.

Brilliant plan, freezes the interest. well done

Day 3 - Not gambled today, I'm aware that the races begin today. Trying not to think about it. But it's virtually un avoidable. Final details for the debt management plan have come through. It's quite a big-ish sacrifice to make. I'm basically going to be throwing a lot of my money per month at the debt, instead of paying off a little bit over a longer period of time.

Originally I wouldn't be debt free until 2022. Now I can be debt free by July next year. Massive imporvement, but as I said, I'll have less money to myself as I'll be giving a lot to the DMP. After paying the DMP per month I'm still going to be putting some money into savings, this isn't destroying my standard of living. This is why I've chosen to do it. This is the path I have chosen, I must follow through with it. I have not, and will not gamble today.

Day 4 - Hard to avoid horse race talk. My friends have won some money on the races and all the talk made me want to have a go on it. But I didn't, and probably saved myself money by doing so. I went out for lunch instead. Another day gone another day I haven't gambled. I think day 5 is where I fell before? Not this time.

Day 5 - I'm still gamble free. I am getting urges, I've been getting them for the last few days. I'm really happy that I haven't caved in, I really think I'm changing this time. Usually when I get urges I go to the bookies and place a bet, then fall back into the trap. This time I've had opportunities to gamble and have chosen not to despite having the urge to.. Positive stuff. Only 1 more day of cheltenham. My friends have made nice money from the races this year. Could that of been me if I was betting? I'll never know. Almost at a week!

Hi Unknown,

Relapse is part of recovery, learn from it, move forward and become stronger. I see massive red flags here, you will never win from gambling your friends might and some may have gambling problems or may be sensible gamblers. Whatever that doesn’t matter you have a problem and are aware of it, so you only ever going to lose money and end up hurting people around you in the future. You need to realise that in order to stop gambling you need support and willpower alone will not work, it may do for a few days, weeks or months but it will eventually fail as life moves on and you will end up in a worse place than before. I tried this and it failed and everyone else who is a cg that has also tried this has failed, there may be someone out there who has done it but I’m not getting my hopes up and am yet to met one. You need to be honest with your friends, if they are real friends they will understand and respect that you have a problem and if they don’t understand as non cg’s usually do they will try too and respect that they cannot be talking about gambling or bragging about there winnings. A gambler never tells you about there loses or all there loses. You need to be honest and seek support. Whilst these forums are good I see people like you constantly having the best intentions like we all do, but not taking on the full advice people are giving you. Learn from your elders not me, what do I know but the people who tried giving me advice years ago, I didn’t listen I thought I knew better and it got worst, but now following that advice honesty and attending ga has completely changed my life. At ga you will learn so much and will become a better person, but that’s only if you want too. I really wish you the best and don’t want to put any pressure on you but just giving my best advice as you are so young and have the rest of your life ahead of you. Keep updating us mate and please give ga at least one go. People who say it doesn’t work are the people who don’t want to stop gambling.

Take care and hope you have a nice weekend.

OAU

Fresh week, thanks for all advice. Very slow ride, plodding on.

Earlier post was a bit bland.. Need to express how I'm really feeling. I'm worried. I'm in the same position as last week, so matters haven't gotten worse. But I just feel worse. Somehow. Maybe it will pass over the week, next few days. I all of a sudden feel annoyed at the money I've lost in the past. If gambling regulations had been different years ago, would I of even started this mess? I hate to imagine how better off I would be. Makes me sick.

Can't do anything about it now. Just need to keep on getting through the days, which is frustrating. I'm extremely impatient. Looking at my bank balance at knowing that it won't go up by X amount until the end of the month. Working out how m uch I could have by the end of the year. My addiction and hunger for money is not healthy. My debt management plan begins on the 27th. This I'm also a bit worried about, my credit file. How badly will it really affect it. If I want to move out in 3 years, how will this affect me when renting etc? I'm not looking for answers right now. I'm just writing everything thats on my mind.

I would love to overcome this addiction, but I sadly don't think I'm strong enough.

I completely forgot to mention in my post that I had gambled again. This time with a friend, so not an account directly through me. But still using my money on another account. I'm ashamed of what I have become. 2 Years ago I was saying that I would never be like this. 2 Years ago I had some money, good job, friends.. I was happy. Now at 20 years old, still young, I still have a good job, hardly any money, around £6000 in debt, losing friends, my mental health is deteriorating, it's going to affect my relationship with my girlfriend. Look at what I have become. A monster. I don't want to tell her that I have relapsed again IM SCARED. if only if only if only. I would never harm myself, but I am seriously not enjoying life at the moment.

Tomorrow is day 1. I have spoken to live support on here. Helped quite a bit, got a lot off my chest, I do feel better. I need to not dwell on the past. I just feel like a lot is happening at once, it's getting on top of me. ALL comments appreciated. I've been selfish and not took advice on board that was given to me. I just would like some support right now. Thanks.

Hello Unknown L,

It sounds like you are reaching out for support. As well as posting on your own diary, you might like to join one of the 'Challenge' threads, or post support on other members diaries, or take part in the group Chatrooms, as these are all ways to become more familiar with other forum members so that there are more opportunities for giving and getting support.

Well done for sharing your journey here and do feel welcome to call us on freephone 0808 8020 133 or our netline whenever you want immediate support.

Take care,

Forum admin.