In a bet there is a fool and a thief

A week has passed since my last gamble, it hasn't been easy, but I've generally been upbeat, the money has gone, life goes on,-this is a new chapter of my life, this time last week I was gambling on a basketball game 5000 miles away, hoping there wasn't going to be points made in the last 2 minutes, crazy, I couldn't even pronounce the teams, don't even know the rules of basketball.

It's been a life changing week, I was going to fall down a large pit sooner than later, perhaps it was what was needed.

Back to work, full of hope, gonna try and enjoy today.

A hard days work done, a week gamble free, pretty painless, kept a positive attitude mainly throughout has worked.

Still in the s**t financially, paid what I could back today and all the bills are sorted for the 1st, it's gonna take time, all I definitely know is if I stay gamble free everything will be fine.

Avoiding all sports channels, racing channel, ain't got a clue what footy fixtures there are the weekend, I'm gonna do whatever it takes.

I've learnt giving up is trial and error, new hobbies start tomorrow night, guitar lesson and tomorrow arvo will be spent with the kids not Jeff Stelling!

Day 9 gamble free, toughest day yesterday,I must plan things for sat arvo, it's tough to avoid cricket, tennis, racing and football, I relate all these to gambling.

I seem to be the minority on here as I have no problem with casinos, fobts but we're all in the same boat, gambling is not for us.

Hopefully get myself out of debt with a payday loan this week,1 major worry out of the way, as soon as that's paid I'm changing my debit card and gone scratch of the security number on the back,another safety net created, which will help.

Keep gamble free and everything else in life I can handle, a stress free Sunday ahead.

Trigger

Fella well done for navigating your way around a busy sporting Saturday without having a punt.

For me I have never spent a single penny in a casino or online,just inside the bookies or the lottery,all forms of betting available in them to fund my inability to walk past the fobt.

I watch sport today for what it is,sport,no care for the result's unless it is my beloved Pompey lol.

I do understand that some folk find it difficult to watch without gambling on the outcome of events in which case keep doing what works for you fella.

Recovery is bespoke,one size does not fit all,it is the end result that matters

The destruction of gambling removed from our lives.

Keep making that choice

Enjoy it

Duncs stepping forward never back

Thanks for the post Duncan, much appreciated.

I'm racking up the gamble free days, been feeling angry with myself for making the same mistakes over and over again.

More determined than ever to stop gambling.

In my experience the debts are a massive factor that keeps luring me back to gambling, but only ever makes things worse.

More than anything, more than being debt free I want to feel I'm control again, i never want that helpless feeling I felt 12 days ago.

A day at a time.

2 weeks gamble free, slowly getting control back, have the odd thought of having a flutter, but they pass, I'm learning to think them through, they soon pass.

Helps I'm still hurting, not only from my latest disastrous episode but keep thinking back through the past 25 years of hurt.

Can't see the point in gambling at present,no positives could be taken in winning 10 pound or a grand, it would never be enough, everything is clear in my head at present, anger is still with me at all those wasted years, a day at a time can only change that.

Hi Trigger

You are so right winning 10 or 1000' it would never be enough

Well done on 2 weeks

Suzanne xx

Same here. I have won a 1000 and just lost it immediately so many times over years. Winning is not enough.

Kidding myself that an occasional small flutter will be alright.

Best of luck with your recovery.

Trigger - Racing used to by my game, studying form and occasionally losing a bit too much but in general it was a hobby. I won sometimes but I always lost more than I won, I would bet in the bookies back then, I then subconsciously stopped gambling for a couple of years as I was obviously fed up losing money.

I always done a coupon though which I never classed as gambling, it was like a lotto ticket. I would put it on and it wouldn't win very often. I then got tv and would sit on a sat afternoon and like you watch Jef and the results come in with my mates, yeah it was a buzz but then I started betting online with my football bets. Fast forward a few years and I have had a big problem with online sports betting, worse when I've had a few beers. As I tend to chase - chase -chase. I lose a tenner so I chase that ten in the next match and so on, stakes get higher! I win some but always lose more and some big losses at that. I've never been in a casino and always felt sorry for the robots at fobt machines but I'm just as bad with sports betting. I've stopped for my family as well as myself, having a bet makes me feel dirty these days. Good luck!

Hi Trigger,

Cheers for your comments on my journal mate I am trying hard. Sorry to hear of your job security issues, it is hard to deal with at the best of times and is a weight that can lie heavy on your shoulders especially if you are the main breadwinner in your family. I hope your situation sorts itself out also - the threat of job insecurity made me feel like another obstacle was being put in front of me on top of all I am already going through… Like you say though, it does also (and your angle is a far more positive spin) make me feel more determined that I cannot go back to gambling. The nature of contract work is transient and I will always have the threat of being out of work longer than anticipated between contracts - I realize now that this means that I really really need to get on top of my problems, such that I can provide for my family if work dries up, rather than P*ssing it all up the wall trying to “win” myself a cushion of funds …. Which is more akin to trying to put out a fire with a bucket of petrol. Keep on keeping on mate, two weeks is good going (Ive just reached 14 days myself too).

Im going to have a read back through your journal now and catch up with what youve been up to whilst ive been away.

Well done on the 2 weeks, and keep on keeping on mate.

FM

Two weeks I lasted, didn't think there was any other betting companies I wasn't excluded from, but an advert took my eye, Sucked me in yet again,a small bet got bigger, had a lucky 2 weeks, knew I was heading for a fall, but being 2 grand up could I stop, impossible. I wanted to, but I was possessed, stressed.

Saturday arvo a large slice of bad luck or good, depends how you look at it went my way, the slippery slope of chasing started it's process, carried on into Sunday arvo, it turned me back into an angry, moody, stressed man.

come tea time I really didn't want to live anymore all the fight had been drained out of me, to write that 'I really didn't wanna live anymore' brings it home how this addiction has ruined my life.

I'm a bit more chipper today, f*** gambling I don't need it, I'm forget all my failed attempts to give up, I've learned something every time.

1st day of the rest of my life.

I can't get to a ga meeting, is there any counselling offered on this site, has anyone had any experience of it and does it help or work?

Hi Trigger

I can't offer you advice on counselling because I have not experienced it myself, but there are other members on here who I am sure can help you with this.

There is a gamcare phone number on here and there is a one to one message line.

I hope this helps and very well done for carrying on carrying on.

Suzanne xx

Hi Trigger. Many thanks again for posting on my first entry on here. Reading your diary, we do indeed share a very similar sorry tale. Be strong, believe in yourself, believe in a better life, a life where you are in control and you will get there. All the very best.

Another mini failure, got a friend to place a bet on for me, what the f*** is wrong with me!

I'm so angry with myself, if a doctor said if you place another bet you will probably die; I still think I would.

That is it, no more, no more.

Back to a day at a time,I'm avoiding all sports, newspapers.

I got 2 daughter's I adore, a loving partner who deserves better much better.

23rd September 6.04 pm the moment I changed for life

Day 1 complete, it was tough, gonna find if tough financially after yesterday, but all in all at least I felt a lot happier, angry with myself for giving in to an urge, but more determined.

Had several urges today, mainly because I'm short of cash for bills, but I know gambling is never gonna be the answer.

I read Kevin twaddles book today, a Scottish pro footballer who is a compulsive gambler, but has abstained for 6 years, if gives me hope. I'm 41, it is time to change a lot of aspects of my life, Rome weren't built in a day.A day at a time.