Last time gambled 3rd Feb 2014

Michael,

Welcome to the forum and congratulations for finding the strength to come here and start your recovery.

The early days are the most challenging and seem the longest but I can assure you once you get through that initial period you will be well on your way to a better, happier and more peaceful life.

I wish you well.

Tomso.

Hi Michaelex,

Well done for starting to take control and for posting. As soon as you start paying back debt, you will feel some great achievement and also relief.

The ABSOLUTE GOLDEN RULE, for me, anyway, is to accept that the money has gone for good and you won't win it back. I have found that to be the hardest thing, but now I accept that! I am able to move on.

You have made a great start by addressing the debt and taking steps to reduce it. HATS off for not caving in and each day is a milestone.

I started my counselling yesterday and it is a real eye opener already.

Sending positive thoughts,

Louise

Michael

We share an anniversary. At least I hope we will. I hope that 3rd Feb 2014 will also be the last day I ever had a bet .

My best wishes to you. And remember gambling addiction is really not about the money. It's much deeper than that.

Tomorrow I start my counselling with Gamcare. I can't wait. I'm ready to completely unload so much stuff.

Stay strong.

Kevin

Michael,

Your story is so very similar to mines mate.

Like Kevin, I am very close to this Anniversary date of 3rd of Feb (My moment of clarity coming the day later).

Its the worst addiction ever i feel as it creeps up on you and a £1 accum has turned into a £1000 bet in a few wasteful years.

I hate gambling - I hate what its done to me, the fact its stolen money off me and I keep on willingly giving it more knowing ill never see it back again as i cant stop.... Sorry, I couldn't stop, but the day has come mate, its time to get this flaw out of our character gone forever.

Lets do this pal,

Drew

Hi Michael - i to am just fed up with it all. The sleepless nights, the worrying, the lying to people. All for what? Potentially losing everything, friends, girlfriend etc etc.

I'll be watching your diary with eager eyes as well as Drews which ive just commented on.

Congratulations on your 2-3 days. Great start of the rest of your life!

Andy

Hi Michael

I can identify with the ups and downs as this was a pattern I followed. I used to like the lows as much as the ups as I felt comfortable once down. Today, through counselling, I have learned to appreciate many things including my recovery. Try not to shut up shop with counselling as it is a great tool to get this addiction put in its place. Slowly slowly at first and the pace will pick up as you go further down the road of recovery.

Take care

hi michaelex, im really sad that you slipped, thurs frid and saturday, i went about 4 weeks once until about just over 2 weeks ago and weirdly the same as you i slipped up big time on a 3 or 4 day stint and lost £1000 that i couldnt afford to loose , that was though before i found this site , so that brings me to my next point , i slipped when i was not on this site , and although i have only gone 13 days so far since the slip i feel i will stay stopped although to do this i seem to have to be on this site about 2 hours at least everyday reading posting on peoples diary and also posting on my own , you could say im almost addicted to this site lol but i just know i need it at the moment. But my point is if i slipped when i was not using it and you slipped although yes you were a member of the forum and using the site but if you get me , between the time of you posting you were tempted but resisted and to the time when you slipped and lost an extra £1700 or so there were about 10 days or more from the 19th of february when you posted then until the next time you posted when if im right you had slipped , i might be slightly out with the days and postings ect... but my point is you seemed to have slipped after you had stopped posting everyday , you had stopped posting everyday almost taking down your guard and then exposing you to the temptations urges ect.. where this diary of yours and mine to me anyway is like a counciling session of its own and thats before we read anyone elses diary which we all do and is helpfull to us to do , so i think and i might be wrong and im by no means judging you or telling you what to do but i think if you make sure you post on yourdiary everyday its almost sticking 2 fingers up to the urges and temptations before they get too strong even if no one reads them even if you dont read anyone elses which im sure you do and even if you just put day whatever of not gambling ect.. , i think this will make it easier not to slipp anymore like i did before i used this site altogether , ps also just to say after reading your post on someone elses diary , i like you do not have a good enough social life partly because of my job, this meas i also have times of boredem which did make it easier to gamble and makes it harder to resist , but together we can beat this keep posting , sometimes i know cant be bothered but if it stops us from slipping then think it also saves us money aswell as alot of heartache . thanks simon

Michealex like Simon says you need to get in the habit of posting daily again! £1700 is a lot to loose yes but it stops here! I'd Gladly love to jump back in time and go back to that stage but trying adding 57k on top and you'd be where I ended up! On a 27k a year job it isn't good but im happy now being gamble free! Hand over yr cards to a family member or partner and start again! At £250 a month that's 9k over 3 year will this clear yr debt set yourself a target and aim to stick to it! You can do this mate!

Sometimes day 1 can feel like groundhog day, a diary sometimes compounds that day 1 feeling, starting all over again but it's the test of a person who can keep bouncing back, to keep trying... I don't know if you've ever watched Hunger games but they say everybody needs hope, without hope the system doesn't work and that's why you'll hear about the winners to give the rest of us hope. That's also why you'll rarely hear gamblers boast about how much they've lost because they're convincing themselves that they can win... in defeat is when people are most honest, the time when there's no hope to cloud their judgement.

£561 is a lot to lose, don't chase it... stop while you can.

Hi

I've been reading your diary and your story is very similar to mine. My biggest vice was online poker. I could win a tidy amounts of money, then in my head plan how I was going to spend it on holidays and luxuries only to lose it all and more the next day. I've been in the viscous cycle of being gamble free for considerable amounts of time. Then relapsing and losing everything all over again.

We will always be compulsive gamblers. It doesn't matter how cautiously we bet. We will lose eventually.

Getting K9 on my PC has definitely saved me a lot of heart ache. If you haven't got it already, get a friend to install it for you.

Some days are hard, thoughts can be dark but you need to think about all the positive things in your life. Maybe go for walk, this is a beautiful time of the year. Everything is regenerating and springing into life. You can too. My last bet week was only a week ago but it's behind me. We worry about the future and regret the past but if you stay in the moment right here right now. How can we fail to be happy. I wish you all the best mate. Keep posting & stay strong.