Letting go of the Comfort Blanket & facing my Demons!

Hi M, I'm 56 and live alone...and one of the thoughts that I have been having this week, is that I quite enjoy my own company. Maybe not all the time, cos I think the casino partly got rid of the sense of isolation I feel on occasions. Keep moving forward Mari, one day at a time x

thanks for post on my diary Mari. It worries me when chat is as busy as tonight on two counts. First just the number of newcomers each day is so sad, the amount of pain and desperation that gambling causes. Second, it's easy for newcomers not to be heard, conversations get lost in all the "hello"s. There are some people who are ready to jump in both feet, others are reticent and I think if they don't feel someone is engaging with them directly they won't say anything...I think the chat room can be quite daunting when it's busy x

Many thanks for your post Mari. It iks little words of encouragement like these that make all the difference!

I think there is a thin line between positivity and boastfulness, but I think we need to spell out the wonderful benefits of abstinence. Perhaps being cruel to be kind!

Take care and stay strong.

Mark x

Thanks for the post Mari...so Deano says the world is our oyster. From #121, it seems we both need to work on being less antisocial; there are opportunities out there, but we ain't going to find them by sitting in alone. choosing life.

Well done for everything your doing as your doing it well!

Got up this morning with loads of energy, this is very unusual for me, I'm not and never have been a morning person 🙂 and the deterioration in my health hasn't helped.... anyway, had my usual gallon of strong coffee and decided it was time to get my non existent filing system sorted, I moved home last September & everything was just crammed into boxes to be sorted later.... to be honest I think it was just another excuse for me to ignore the financial mess I knew was building. Well, it's all done...Looked through, checked... Shredded if not needed and filed if to be kept. It felt strangely cleansing.... my head would be so muddled from gambling that nothing ever seemed manageable, now I know everything is manageable... with commitment from me.

So after my productive few hours I was feeling really pleased with myself and decided I'd nip to local shop & purchase myself a lovely bottle of wine as a treat..... my first in probably a year (buying wine would have meant less slot funds) .... so my day toddles on & get a few bits of housework done...I have dinner then a shower & get ready for a cozy evening on sofa with a movie & my wine....Bliss.....

Eh NO...... I can't get the f*****g bottle open! I've twisted...Turned....Pulled....Pushed....Jumped up and down like a madwoman and I still can't get the bloody thing open! Typical lol....It's a cup of tea instead 🙁

Day 57 No Gambling 🙂 No Wine 🙁

Mari x

Is it a cork ? If so push a blunt knife on the top of the cork with the bottle between your feet 🙂

Good to hear you tackling the organisation. Gambling sure takes away so much precious time and yes makes us anti social

I think because its such a secret lonely habit its a cold road that takes some time learning how to enjoy normal life again.

Small steps lovely lady. Open out a couple of invitations, maybe have a friend round for a bottle of wine and then venture out to meet friends.

You are doing so well x

Oh poor you, just when you were looking forward to a well earned glass of wine!
Brilliant job done on the paperwork though. Keep it going and what a good idea IWSM. Invite a friend round to share and hope they'll open the bottle for you haha!! x

Hi Marie

Thanks for stopping by on my diary. I am still struggling on ...will get there though, i am determined.

Well done for abstaining for so long, you are doing so well.

Mel x

Thanks for dropping by Mari, you might only have been round here a couple of months but you enthusiasm has been infractions. It's not all been about you the support and kind words are second to none. Keep going the way you are and you will continue to inspire people.

KTF

Hi Marie
Post 121 self isolation is definitely the addict mindset.
Sort of get you feeling alone who else have you got to turn to but your best freind gambaling.
In a way I've lived that way a long time. Always thinking well I don't need to go out with my mate's that's gambaling money.
It wasn't money to enjoy on anything other than gambaling.
I've spoken briefly before about just before my best freind died and hadn't seen him for a few month's and he was outside a pub and asked if I wanted to come in for a beer. But I was that tranced on getting to my next bet I said no. He died not long after and its one of my biggest regrets out of everything. I guess since his death some 2 year's back I've isolated myself to the point I rarely was leaving the house only to work. For me it's where I need the most work and I am slowly getting myself back in society so to speak. Not just in the shadows

So the post struck a chord with me.
When the S***e hits the fan we shut ourselves off from the world
Self imprisonment

Have a great one x

I think I've got back to you all in your diaries 🙂 As always, huge thanks for support 🙂

Day 59 drawing to an end dear diary, another step forward....I've been going to the chatrooms more often lately and I'm finding it really helpful, a few weeks ago I wouldn't have spoken to anyone about my addiction.... but going to chat and being able to speak freely with others both new & long term recovering is a release, it's strange....I feel calm & content after the chat sessions, doesn't matter if I say much, just being there matters. Knowing I'm not alone in this matters. I matter.

I've said it before and I'm sure I'll say it again & again.... Thank You!

Onwards & Forwards I Go....Gamble Free!

Mari x

Hi Marie the offer is there for when ever you feel you're ready. As I said before we generally a pretty happy bunch over the other side. With plenty of support and enthusiasm.
Almost 2 months now for you. I can see in your post's that thing's are starting to improve imagine what post's you'll be making in 12 month's? Go you
Deano x

Hey. .your doing great hun. .
60 days...well done you.
Loved the wine bottle post..
So lovely to see your posts over the forums.....keep on pushing ..x

Hi Mari thanks for hitting my diary and well done to you for your continuing gambling free days. Loved your post about beginning to sort your finances, then settling down to a bottle of wine - that you was unable to open. Sometimes it's moments like this that make us chuckle, sigh or cringe. Keep up the good work. Propell yourself to new hights.