Lifer

An excellent quote which has made my day.

Welcome back; I am quite new so I don't know who you "were", but thanks for posting 🙂

FF

Welcome back to the recovery diaries, if you are who i think then you will probably enjoy this

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQvUBf5l7Vw

If you aren't enjoy it all the same!

Paulds

Welcome back to the forum.

I totally agree with your username and reasons behind it. I too thought it was in my nature to be a gambler. "Once a gambler always a gambler!".

But of course it is in your nature to be whatever you want to be. Our lives are not set out before us in a structured plan, and everyday we have the chance to make our lives whatever we desire.

Therefore, all of us want to be gamble free, and with will power and support of others we can all achieve this.

Regards

Craig

Hi there,

We all have a choice thats the great thing about this complicated thing called life, and what a great choice you made in coming back! Welcome 🙂

Blondie x

Hiya Againstnature...

Thank you for the mention and im glad a my quotation list has inspired....

I think I know who you may be too...and from memory may be a fellow "Loiner"..?. ; ) (cryptic or what)

Welcome back and very glad to see you ...loved the quote by the way.....could add that one to Shinys WOW list ..set up since you have been away.

Rach and Doo xx

Yo,

Ummmmmmmmmmmm

Don't want to spook you , but you my dear dear friend sound in a better place than you were last time our paths crossed .

Must be all that fresh air , believe me when I say coming back to your gamcare pals , can only be discribed as a hole in one .

Got a funny feeling I will be conversing with you in the late night hours and Camaeron in the early hours , sleep so over rated.

Hay no disappearing on me now !

Shiny xxxxxxxx

I shall remember the 4th September 2012 as the day I came back home. I had been putting it off for quite a while, as I didn't want to recall any pain or sadness. Instead it's a pleasure and one that has put a huge smile on my face. I intend to be frank and honest as always and have lots of things I want to say as usual.

Please wipe my old name from your diaries, you know who I am. I "came out" in grand style to my work colleagues. I am a self confessed ex gambler in all aspects of my life now and it's where I leave it all behind. I really don't want my colleagues reading my personal sh it on this diary so please everyone. Help me! I want to fight this battle only with the people who I understand and who understand me. I hope my request makes sense.

Best wishes everyone,

A>N.

" Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are while your reputation is merely what others think you are. " quote by John Wooden.

Goodnight everyone.

Yo,

So proud of you coming out is not an easy thing to do .

The past has gone now we need to concentrate on the future .

If there is one thing I an continually learning , is that we need to accept we are addicts , and then learn to live with , and not be ruled by it . Or let it define who we are or what we can do with our lives .

We choose not to gamble , cause it will result in our downfall , but by making it a choice , we get to live rather than being imprisoned .

You sound like you are no longer imprisoned , which is to be honest bloooooooody fantastic !!!

Night

Shinyxxxxxx

Hi againstnature

Welcome back and thanks for the post , more importantly so glad u av found ur feet again and starting to get back on track , every time I go on my diary I always see that constant reminder of how much u helped me and supported me and for that I will always be eternally grateful

Like iv always said ur one of the good guys and this site is goin to be so much better with u on it , to see u back on as made my day I can honestly say bout an hour ago was only thinkin bout how ur were doin and hoping u were ok

Golf is one fantastic sport and takes all the troubles away for those few hours , I love to play but am so poor at it but I hope u enjoy every moment

Can't tell u how proud I am that u av found that strength to come back it takes some real courage I really hope u r to

Here for u always just like everyone else will be

Castle2

Hi A>N, thanks for your post on my diary. I can't reecall if we were in touch the last time, I too left the forum. I wasnt strong enough and fell big time, but since I came back Ive done 15 days clean.

Thought I was able to handle going it alone, how wrong I was. I need this site and everyone on it, I need the comfort of speaking to friends who understand and can relate to every feeling that gambling gives you.

Wonderful to have you back on here my friend, your presence is so welcomed by so many, stay strong and keep posting.

Have a great day

Cameron

Thanks for all my posts. You are all very kind and I will reply to everyone all of the time.

Back in November 2011, I decided to quit gambling for good. I was close to suicide, close to bankruptcy and was losing friends and family thick and fast. My relationship with my partner had dissolved to virtually nothing. I came here and found strength, mostly which I picked up from you guys.

I returned from the brink. I continued for 144 days until one day I lost control. That day turned into a 3 week nightmare of a rollercoaster ride. I lost the plot completely. Winning lots of money and then throwing it all away AGAIN! until I had nothing left. It wasn't until I confessed to a close friend that I saw the light again and vowed to close the book once and for all.

Then on 27th July I really wanted another bet. I knew I had more control this time. I decided to let myself have it for that one day, with knowledge that I could end up back in hell. I placed the bet and watched as it won. I felt nothing, I calmly withdrew the money, knowing that that was it. It was finally over. I had placed a bet with no emotion or trigger attatched to it. I felt cold on that day. The buzz had gone. All I could think of was black, darkness, none of the previous burning desires that had clouded my judgement so much.

A few days later I calmly announced at lunch to some of my work colleagues that I was a gambling addict in recovery and that it would take me 5 years to get out of the debt I had built from it. It was accepted. There were shocked looks. I know the gossip merchants are at it behind my back. I don't care. I feel free.

I have now reached 40 days since that last bet. I hope it will never come again but I no longer live in fear that it might. I refuse to live like that any longer. I feel proud and good about meeting all my debts on pay day now. I look at it that I have gambled for less than one month out of the last ten. For me that is a massive step forward.

I work hard, I play hard, I try to love life. Then on 13th August I had a heart scare during my sleep. I am gonna be ok I hope. I take 5 lots of medication now. I am alive, I value that more than anything. I believe that these things happen for a reason. I believe that the attack came with the relief and realisation that it was finally over. I will continue but now in the knowledge that this is a fight against nature, that what I am is what I have become. I am in control of that and can make my own future. I will not be taken yet, not by the reaper or by the gambling demons that once defined me. For the rest of the time that I'm here I will value this thing called life more than ever and do my best to enjoy my time rather than wasting it. My experiences continue to shape me and I will always be learning.

Best wishes everyone,

A>N.

Yo ,,,

When I read your post I gasped once then I gasped again and again .

It brought back memories of all the days I woke up and wished I had not , the day I decided enough was enough I could not go on , and spent the whole day looking up assisted suicide .

You and I have always sort of got each other, believing that our problem was with our mental health first , as opposed to our money , relationships what ever . Never have I found someone who got me like you have . For that I will be indepted to you for every second of what ever time I spend on this earth .

You my dear dear friend can walk along my side , I will endeavour to help you find your middle , to push yourself to fight your fears , to learn how to make the most of life .

We can do this , you are not alone , not just me all your gamcare friends .

I need to ponder on what you wrote , but know this together we are stronger , together we can and will do everything in our power to keep each other safe , to move each other forward , to kick this fooooooking addiction into a place where today it can not hurt us

I've got your back and you know what I know you've got mine . The peace of mind that brings me is priceless I hope you feel same .( bit like a safety net whilst walking a tight rope ). .

Shiny xxxxxxxxxxx

Yo ,

Thank you for your post . Yep I will be honest when I say you offered me a more personal approach and I turned it down , today I was sad about that as maybe I could of helped but hay ho I have my reasons which maybe one day I will pass on who knows .

Like our gambling days it is about the here and now

Today I choose not to gamble , you are doing the same so I recon we will both get through the day unscathed .

For me today as I am sure it is for you , it will make it a good day, we still have issues , but we can work through them.

Do you know my lovely do not think I have said how extremely happy I am to have you back .

Got a bit fed up with macramé , those spider plants were just not multiplying fast enough Lol

New hobbies ,,,,, ??zzzzzzzz ummmmmm sleeping think I could take that up lol

Shiny xxxxxxx