Not sure if I'll continue this diary as I have a tendency to quit things that require effort but I need to do something right now. I've lost today's earnings and more and have done so 4 days out of the last 7 days. I've gambled since being a young teenager so for the last 30 years. Since trying to quit slots after accumulating huge debts and loosing almost everything 15 years ago I once went just over a year without gambling, that's the longest amount of time I've ever managed, what a useless idiot I am! I've had CBT, counselling, the best blocks possible and attended GA meetings, I'm currently waiting for the NHS Northern gambling clinic to contact me after self refering last week and will probably attend a weekly GA meeting again. I gambled today so will quit again tomorrow, I need to permanently stop gambling, if I can it will change my life.
Today I worked all day and gave my earnings to a machine again for the fourth time this week. I can't win because I can't stop playing until I have nothing left to play with so I will always loose. Plus it's a computer program that is designed to be addictive and also make large profits from its victims.
I'll quit again for the 1500th time and see how long it lasts.
I will always loose because I can't stop until I have nothing left.
We are available 24 hours a day, every day of the year. You can also contact us for free on 0808 80 20 133. If you would like to find out more about the service before you start, including information on confidentiality, please click below. Call recordings and chat transcripts are saved for 28 days for quality assurance.
