Lost more than just money

2nd day done. Can't say it's been easy but then I wouldn't be using this if it was. 48 hours, I'm having headaches but I can live with those.

Im starting again too mate.

Been hiding it when I said i am clean. won money over the last week and thought it was the right thing to do but lost most today. feel awful and have closed my accounts again.

lets beat this!

The loss of trust, respect and love is far worse than any financial hit we've had. I have to remember this feeling every time the urge comes

Get back into recovery mate

Plenty of support and help out there including here, counselling, GA etc

Welcome back

Tri

Thanks Tri,

i need all the support I can get. Promise to keep you all updated

So my wife has all the debit and credit cards and gives me money each day for whatever we need. I have to produce receipts for everything spent and give her the money back when I get home from work. I have mixed feelings about this as it will cause huge inconvenience at times but I know that with no money, I can't gamble. I think though that she's doing it as a way to protect her and our girls rather than doing it to help me. I guess I have to take what I can though. She doesn't believe in the addiction theory. For her it's an excuse, a word to hide behind. As far as she's concerned I'm an intelligent adult male and I have a choice, yes or no, right or wrong.

I find it difficult to argue that point because put simply she's right. But that doesn't explain what compelled me to still gamble. I did know it was wrong, I didn't want to do it but the pull was greater than my resistance. Does this mean I didn't want to stop or is 'addiction' an unexplainable trait. Do I need to fill the space with something else that I can be addicted to that is good? Running maybe or reading. Anyone know the answers to all the questions in my head?

Dont think you can ever completely cure the addiction.
I know its wrong but go i always end up going back to it. This is my first day of my recovery for the last time. We can do this!

Gottostop

Fella you have to want to stop,not just for today to get you out of the mire with your missus, you have to admit that gambling in any format is beyond your control and you will do anything to stop that next punt.

Look at it from your wife's view,yes we are invariably hard working, intellectual, intelligent folk

A non compulsive gambler will never see the link to addiction, I understand that.

My advice is share your feelings with your wife, she in my mind like my own wife deserves recovery from this more than you or I.

Why are you looking at recovery as a punishment?

Is it because you are not ready? Because you have been caught you are going through the motions until the coast is clear?

I have walked in those shoes, broken promises and a barrel load more lies.

Recovery is in my mind a gift, one only you can unwrap.

What's stopping you is the functioning addict wants to play the hard done by card.

Well I believe that is labelled at the wrong folk,our partners suffer in silence all the time addiction means more than anything else.

Fella it hurt me to face that truth, but from it came opportunity.

Why seek a cure?

Is that not the same as seeking a result through gambling when the outcome never changes.

Active we live by a mantra

I CCannot win because I cannot stop.

You will live in harmony with addiction if you choose recovery. commitment to it at whatever cost,forget being inconvenienced.

If not the other option is not worth thinking about.

Time to ask yourself those questions, time for you to take control.

For twenty progressive years I never saw past that next pipe dream of a punt.

Today I see the true picture.

Addiction, the compulsion to gamble devastates too many lives.

I am a recovering compulsive gambler

It's on offer to you to my friend.

Only you can take it.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back

Thanks Duncs

you are right. I'm not going through the motions. I am tired of being in the position of promising it all and delivering nothing.

I appreciate your support. I won't gamble again. I guess I have never considered the feelings and hurt it puts my wife through. A selfish attitude of one who couldn't accept a problem. My kids don't know, they are only 8&6. I want to be honest with everyone else but the hurt that causes is stopping me. The fear of the unknown is my biggest torment right now.

I like your saying about can't win if I can't stop. This will by inspiration each day and whenever temptation lurks.

Hi Half-Life

Thanks for your support.

I am fully accepting of the constraints placed upon me. I have told myself to shut up and put up. I have no right to complain and I know that. I will quit.

To give some insight my gambling was sports betting. I love sport and have loved gambling. I liked to make one love even more interesting, like a challenge to see how well I knew the sport. Evidently I didn't know it as much as I thought!!!

i will recover and never return to the dark days. I also accept I may have to reduce my sport intake as I inevitably link the two.

Thanks for your help and advice

Nearly 3 days done. Big challenge of Saturday sport coming though. Feeling confident but only because I can't get to any money not because of a capability to resist.

This will come though, I'm sure. I'm trying to really dislike the betting shops I see as a way of combating it. I dislike cigarette smoke and so have never smoked, I'm hoping the same kind of idea works with bookies

Hi gottostop

I must say, as a partner of a cg I do understand your wife's confusion as to how gambling can be an 'addiction'. When my fiance told me I was thinking the same. He's a grown adult, we have a child, he should know when enough is enough and be able to call it a day.

It wasn't until we honestly and openly spoke that I realised that often its not the games or the bets that was addictive, it was the buzz felt by winning, even though most of the time you're not winning and your winnings is essentially borrowed money that you'll feed back into the machine to lose.

I really hope that your wife is able to see your being a cg as an addiction soon as it is a beast and a very real problem, just like any other form of addiction. Yes, your wife is taking the right preventative steps, but I do also hope that you're getting the support you need at home. Are you attending counselling or GA?

Keep posting in your diary, remember, who wants to waste time in the bookies - you don't even like them! Good luck

Thanks srp94 for your support, it really means a lot. I'm not sure my wife is ready to try to understand yet and I don't say that begrudgingly or judgementally. I hope in time my marriage can survive and I am going to focus my attention on that by stopping gambling for good.

Sure, I completely understand that. I'm sure once she sees the efforts you're going to it will make things easier. It's not an easy journey for anyone, both the cg or their family, but I'm hoping things get easier for you all.