Making it work

Thankyou for the kind words Change. Big congratulations on 334 not out.

It concerns me to think the addiction will never leave me, however I feel i must be ever more able to deal with the urges as I get further away from my last bet. Recovery obviously doesn't happen overnight but it does come about gradually. I'll just stick to my guns, be patient, and draw inspiration from my GamCare friends.....stephen

Quite right Stephen. The thoughts of gambling, and urges still remain with us when we abstain, but l suppose, knowing that the urges will almost certainly resurface gives us the resilience and strength to ride the storm until it clears.

Just like an alcoholic who has been pushing the boundaries and risking their health. In giving up an addiction we might say to ourselves:-

I CANNOT gamble anymore.
I DON'T want to gamble anymore.
I WON'T gamble anymore.

By the way Stephen thanks for your input with the sleeping lion. Yes I think we all have a roaring animal inside us. We can surely change from mediocre to prolific, if we give that timid Pussycat a bowl of milk and send it on its way.

Thankyou for posting on my diary changemylife. Congratulations on 340 Days without gambling, that is excellent.

As you so rightly say, the urges will be back now and than to torment us with thoughts of gambling. But knowing they're going to come means we can be prepared, and well equipped to fight them off.

I really don't have an excuse. Looking back over the years, starting with westerns in the 50's, I have seen many films where people are stranded in some remote location waiting for an onslaught by the enemy forces. After getting all their preparations in place to repel the attack, than they get on with their daily routine, having mini adventures including romance and upheavals. Surely I didn't watch all them corny films for nothing ! Take care ...stephen

Hi changemylife, I saw further up your diary that you want an appartment in Tenerife. After going there on holiday many times I always thought I could live here one day, retire maybe. So a few days ago I started learning Spanish on Duolingo, so were more or less the same age, so hopefully like the Shawshank Redemption I'll meet you there someday, a San Miguel watching the sun go down remembering the days we were CG's how we beat it, maybe I'll own the bar, I hope so.

Hey that's a great idea - meet up for a retirement rendezvous in Tenerife in say, 8 years (2025). I don't really want to work past 60 years!

Love that film by the way - Ok our reenactment may include an invitation hidden discretely under a stone by the maple tree for Stephen, Mixer, Alan, Sharon, Kelly and any others who would like to join in with the fun and reminiscing

It's good that you're learning Spanish. I hope that I will also learn a new language. To speak the lingo in a foreign country shows respect.

To have big plans for the future gives us a chance to push ourselves further, and to make things happen will always take courage and determination.

Just like paying off a debt. We don't need to focus on the 5 year sentence because things can change. I'm not saying that we will win the lottery or come into some money but sometimes we just have to have faith that the pathway to our goals will be revealed to us.

My track for the day is specifically to encourage gamblers who are in the midst of addiction. There is always hope, even if we fail. Our spirits can be lifted from the gloom.

"Lifted" by the Lighthouse Family

We could be lifted, from the shadows, lifted, lifted.

But it ain't long before I long for you, like a ray of hope, coming through the blue moon.

When it all gets dark again. The whole thing falls apart I guess. It doesn't really matter 'bout the rain. Cause we'll get through it anyway - We'll get up and start again.

Did someone mention my name Teneriffe a beach and a " San Miguel " in one post ? :))

Count in me in " Amigo's " :))

Thankyou for posting on my diary Changemylife. Always appreciated.

On the beach in Tenerife sounds very nice indeed and it costs a lot less than gambling .

Take care my friend. Wishing you well as you approach the 1 Year GF Marker .... stephen

I've been a bit up and down this week. Emotions frayed at the edges, anxiety creeping in.

I've finally completed the next stage of my project and emailed the artwork to the agent with payment. Having had access to a couple of grand over the past few weeks has really tested me, and to be honest I was not comfortable with it.

I could have just given full control of the money to my O.H, but I feel like I need to be assertive and stand on my own two feet! I see it as another test in my recovery.

I did however have some crazy thoughts about a withdrawal of £500 to place on spread betting with football. I think that I came close. It would have been so easy to do - speculative bets; trying to gain a bit more money for the pot.

But something in my head told me to back off. I tried to imagine the way I would feel after losing a chunk of loan money which was specifically intended for my project. I just wasn't prepared to blow it all again!

So, thankfully, checking in still G.f.

Hi CML :)) .

I had the same thoughts over money I'd put aside for being off work after my Hip replacement earlier in the year , I've never not had access to cash all the time I've been gamble free but the amount this time was quite substantial and those old felings of " Just a coule of hundred wouldn't be missed " but that's where it all begins right ? . and if we don't have the first bet the second won't follow :)).

Glad you made the proper choice and best wishes with the project :))

Hi changemylife 5 days into duolingo, see you in 2025.

Adios.

Hi CML, 2025 sounds good to me 🙂 It’s a non-alcohol full sugar nectar for me having learned from the drunken fool dragging me up that drinking is bad (learned the same about drugs & smoking, just goes to figure how seductively gambling can be sold)!

I already have a few words of the lingo under my belt...Couldn’t bear to go anywhere & not do the locals the courtesy of @ least the pleasantries.

Good skills getting through this test & hopefully you feel stronger for having done it. I was a bit peturbed by your post #95 & the lottery win/coming into money section...The big thing about recovery is doing life for ourselves, working hard for what we get. I know money is hugely emotive for you but addiction would have us believe that it can make us happy, it can’t & if you keep working hard & plugging away @ your debts, you will find that path that no lottery win could ever do for you.

Good luck with the agent & the next chapter of your dream...Keep making things happen, don’t give gambling the satisfaction of destroying you - Kelly

Hi Changemylife thankyou for the kind words on my diary which made me smile.

Pleased your progressing well with your project and not giving in to tempation. If the addiction notices you have money it will most likely come a-running but every time you say 'no' you will get a little bit stronger ....stephen

Thank you for your warm and worthwhile input Alan, Stephen, Smashed and Kelly.

This site is a godsend for me as it allows freedom of speech and expression. An outlet for emotion and knowledge. The site along with its cherished members has become my rock for nearly a year.

I have a fridge magnet with inspirational wording - 'Live your life as you have imagined' - However most of my wants and desires require money, freedom ect. All the things we want but can't have, it's so frustrating.

Obviously not doing myself any favours with all this deep thinking - Maybe I should just go with the flow. Live. Love & Enjoy.

Somebody once said: Find something enjoyable that you're good, which pays you well.... and you'll never have to work another day in your life.

Everyone must surely be blessed with their own unique talents.

They say that 'Life is like a song - it's up to you and your heart to write the lyrics...

I'm kinda enjoying life at the moment. Reading novels; books that I brought from a charity shop for the princely sum of £1.20: 'Birds of prey' by Wilbur Smith, 'Fifty Shades of Grey' by El James and 'Better than life (Red Dwarf) by Grant Taylor.

Also I enjoy taking the dog for a walk - and you know, we learn something new everyday. I didn't realize that lady dogs squat to have a pee. I honestly thought that all dogs raised their hind leg to the lamp-post!

I find myself just thinking about s.ex drugs (alcohol) and rock 'n' roll ( all the vices, minus the gambling!). It kinda gets me through the day. I've now stopped taking the meds and maybe my sleep patterns, digestion and libido will be restored!!

Thanks Kelly for your concern over the lottery win concept. I don't play the lottery but maybe a family member might get lucky and pass a few quid my way.

I totally get what you mean though. Playing the lottery IS definitely classed as gambling. For us C.G's it's not just a pound a week. I have wasted s lot of money on the lottery in the past. More than £100 at a time.

Well done on your own resilient fight against addiction. Take care. Be happy. Have fun.

Thanks changemylife for good feedback and support on my diary. It's good you approach your gamble free life in a positive way.

There seems to be no point dragging all our negative ideas along with us. If we're going to have a bright future we need to illuminate our minds, especially them dark corners where all the bad stuff hangs out.

" We dance for laughter - We dance for tears - We dance for madness - We dance for fears - We dance for hopes - We dance for screams - We are the dancers - We create the dreams.