Making it work

Congratulations on a whole GF, I aspire to your sheer grit and determination to achieve this....ooh and great song there! Take care S 🙂

Thanks Stephen, Moorey and Sharon for your kind words with congrats for a year g.f.

I know that I need to leave the bad stuff in the shadows, occupying a maximum of 5 percent of my thoughts.

Seems like a long year as my mind has been in a whirl. But hopefully without gambling the future years will be easy-going, enjoyable and full of splendor.

Also well done you guys and girls for your excellent resilience thus far. Keep them g.f. days racking up!

Hello diary. I'm feeling good, strong and determined.
Love this time of year with the colourful autumn leaves, deep, vibrant sunsets of crimson and purple. A refreshing chill, a smokey bonfire drifting on the wind.

My thought for the day: What stops you from doing the things that you may want to (but know you shouldn't) ? - Is it love or fear? .... or both?

Fear, fearing failure is the massive trigger to so many things. Our minds like good cop bad cop telling us in the morning "You can do this" and as the evening comes "Loser, fool, idiot can't even do this" and listening to bad cop or beliveing or even agreeing with him then there is trouble ahead, scoffing a take away, slurping out the can, gambling and blaming everyone else. But winning is not listening to bad cop ever again, extremely difficult but very very doable. I miss those smells and will strive to return one day, in this part of London its cars, noise and no bird songs.

Hello Change, just wanted to congratulate you on your gamble free year, a brilliant achievement and the difference shines through in your words.

Your story about the actor struck a chord with me, I was gamble free in the past for over a year and thought I'd put it all behind me...I actually identify with that story, as odd as it sounds I think I didn't 'relapse' but got myself addicted all over again from the beginning..! Its good to keep recovery in mind and accept this is something that will always be a part of us, in my view. A much smaller and distant part as time goes on, but one which has to be respected for the power it can gain very quickly and the danger it presents. Don't leave yourself open to the whisky bottle 🙂

You sound like a deep thinker anyway so hopefully you wouldn't get sucked back in mindlessly, or be complacent, and will continue in strength! keep sharing your thoughts and experiences on here because they are really interesting!

Smashed - Thanks for your reflections on my thread - Love or Fear? I like your analogy of the aftermath of another crazy decision having listened to the Bad Cop in our heads. The fear of failure... Yes that would be a deterrent.

Or the power of love. Sounds a bit corney - but when we put others before ourselves and consider the thought of losing the love from our family. All because of a selfish, weak decision to gamble. I think that love will win - hands down.

I get what you mean about living/working in a big city such as London. A few leafy parks surrounded by office buildings, traffic and bustling people doesn't really cut it. Perhaps a weekend away to the coast or countryside is the best remedy.

4d - Thanks for your kind words and congratulations on your own inspiration for abstinence and recovery. Yes, the whiskey bottle, the bar of chocolate, the gambling advertisement. All crying out to us - seeking out a weak-willed fracture. And that is why positive self talk is paramount to success.

A wonderful bright mesmerising moon in the sky tonight, surrounded by countless, timeless shining stars.

It makes me feel small and insignificant, but at the same time special and unique. The vast and awesome space beyond our world. Unexplained fully to the limits of the human mind.

Later I relax in my favourite chair reading about Lister and Rimmer navigating their way in a Starbug space craft, between Red Dwarf and the oncoming planet. Lister has decided that the rescue mission is just like playing a game of pool, with planets and suns in orbit to be potted. Priceless humour.

I listen to Planet Rock playing 'Dark side of the moon'. It concludes with the lyrics to announce - "there is no dark side of the moon, it is all in darkness".

Its funny how much you take in when your not consumed by a dead cert, a big win, cherrys, sevens, bells, the tier section and lucky number 8. The saying goes "The Mind is a terrible thing to waste" it is, theres a world out there and we are too blind to see it when were consumed by s**t that dont count.

Well said Smashed! Yes I think that sadly when we were consumed within the gambling world - we missed everything. Humour, acts of Joy or kindness, smiles. Nature, opportunities and love.

Time to expand our minds, without the shackles holding us back.

Thankyou for posting on my diary changemylife. The support is always appreciated.

The universe is presently obscured by rain and clouds so anything could be going on up there. For inspiration I had a listen to 'Dark Side Of The Moon' by Planet Rock which I enjoyed, so thanks for sharing that great music. I have the Pink Floyd version on cd so will turn the lights down later and listen to that ....stephen

Christmas time is looming ever nearer and we all need to be on our guard. Let's remember that we don't have to buy expensive presents and break the bank. Let's live within our means and give what we can, after all it's the thought that counts.

Above all, let's count our blessings and enjoy love, peace and happiness. Do not let the gambling devil threaten us, particularly during the festive period.

My thought for the day - Learn to appreciate your true friends and loved ones. Life evolves. Everybody hurts. We all have an opportunity to do something special or meaningful. Nobody knows how long they have left. Live life and smile every day.

As it was my day off work I Indulged in a bit of 'Me Time':-Sauna, spa, steam & swim. A wonderful all-over body experience - Relaxing and invigorating! It cost me £9.50, worth every penny.

Far better than sticking a tenner on a sports bet and kissing the money goodbye forever. Along with the total body experience - anxiety, stress, guilt & regret..

Morning Changemylife. Glad you enjoyed your swim and steam, it does help to unwind and it's good exercise. My gym membership for a year is less than I frequently lost on the fobt monsters. I tended to lose my sense of values when I was gambling.

Love reading your diary, thought provoking little gems, humour and good advice. Take care and have a good week...stephen

Thanks Stephen. Yes it's good to unwind and de-stress. I'm glad you're doing some gym workouts - it's supposed to keep us younger, in conjunction with healthy eating and drinking! (Or not drinking for the strong willed).

It's good to share comments and thoughts to be appreciated by others. Sometimes I ramble on haphazardly, but however, we all need some sort of recognition.

Hey - I was in your 'neck of the woods' last night. The Fruit venue for a comedy show with Ellie Taylor. It's a cool place with close stage proximity and a range of craft beers.

I watched a wonderful stage performance of Scrooge this evening, and my little daughter Katie was in the cast! Her enthusiasm and talent shines through. The story is both sad and heartwarming and several times I sat there with tears running down my face. Scrooge - the miserly old man, set in his ways with financial greed his priority. Until his past and future is shown to him by the spirits. He is full of regret for letting his sweetheart go, and for all the missed family occasions and the absence of joy.

Determined to change his outlook on life and right the wrongs, his resolution becomes apparent. The message of the story is clear, that we can make changes to our lives by reaching out to others with appreciation and love.