Metamorphosis

I cant get on to your diary Duncs - surely the fact you can't drive would make it even more fun. I picture a double decker bus with L plates on the back being chased down the M25 with us all standing on the platform throwing things at the chasing blue lights as the bus careers from one side of the road to the other ending at a lovely country pub where Sarah has been waiting and keeping us up to date on the chase by mobile then all sitting together for a gorgeous roast dinner. Well can't hurt to daydream.

Hey girl 🙂 well i thought i will check in for the last time tonight and was very pleasantly surprised to see your name on a first page. Thank you so much for your kind words...it actually brought tear to my face because i appreciate you so much and just wish to get out of my way to give you a helping hand. Even if we quite far away from each other geography, i am willing at least hold your hand at doctors appointments and all you need to do just give me a shout...i don't need L plates to race over :-). Don't be scared my friend, life is for living and that's all we can do here and now. Your studio on that beautiful boat getting done, ...you can feel safe in case flooding threatens us again and you have that wonderful and peaceful view of the river. Many people would give their all to experience that sense of harmony and peace. Chin up girl..just take it day at a time, you are never on your own and never will be...as of the "plan hooligan" lol lol..hell girl I'm in!!! And what do you mean me on a lookout lol? I will be there in action, skydiving from the rooftops to cheat laser security and grab that master piecework lol..you all my friends just stand back and watch (and maybe cheer me on in this quest lol)..you are full of amazing imagination combined with logic darling, make the use of your thoughts and keep putting them down 🙂 you have a talent!!...ps. sorry if post come across a bit "out of it"...but i am not high lol..just feeling tired, but glad i could post to you my dear soldier, i am rooting for you today..tomorrow. ..forever. take care and stay safe. Xx.....ps. i wanted to thank you so much for giving me a nudge every day over the worst days of my life in a past few weeks...you made a difference in my life and your care of me is really appreciated...but please never forget no.1 - YOU. We will get through this X

The time of the falling leaves has come again. Once more in our morning walk we tread upon carpets of gold and crimson, of brown and bronze, woven by the winds or the rains out of these delicate textures while we slept.
How beautifully the leaves grow old! How full of light and color are their last days! There are exceptions, of course. The leaves of most of the fruit-trees fade and wither and fall ingloriously. They bequeath their heritage of color to their fruit. Upon it they lavish the hues which other trees lavish upon their leaves....
But in October what a feast to the eye our woods and groves present! The whole body of the air seems enriched by their calm, slow radiance. They are giving back the light they have been absorbing from the sun all summer.
~ John Burroughs, "The Falling Leaves," Under the Maples

Phew I have finally 'come out of the closet'.

If anyone sees this person anywhere near a gamblling establishment you have my permission to kick them very hard up the a**e and tell them to f**k off out of it.

xxx

Awesome pic Dragonfly!!! How wonderful to see your face! (((((DF)))))) I'm not doing so well at the moment... But, there is always tomorrow. -joanxxx

Hey there 🙂

Ohh, love the pic girl!! Great to see you back and posting. It's been tough couple of weeks but we never stop reaching for the top. Why? Because we are real fighters and never give up! We are also good people who deserves only good things in life. Proud to be walking with you in this journey and know that we will keep walking forward and getting closer to that light. Let's do it my friend!

S x

Hi Dragonfly,

I just had to say I have been trying to figure out how this site works again and found your thread. I am laughing myself silly picturing Duncs driving a double decker bus in your version of the Thomas Crowne Affair. Lol! -joanxxx

Good morning Dragonfly. Ya know was cruising bk home from work (in a deep fog lol) ..a song came on and i had a thought to myself..it went like this "..and I'm holding onto heaven..."..i thought about every single soldier on here, holding onto recovery like heaven..with both hands, feet and teeth..holding onto belief and hope to come out the other end safe when times becomes tough...enjoying good days even more and accepting not so "perfect" and exhausting poor decisions we do make on a way....most importantly we never give up. Why should we? I remember Shiny's words : "will we get there?" - we don't know..."will we give up the fight?" - NEVER. Many hurdles on a way and no doubt many more to come, such is this world, nice surprise one day sending you up to the sky, and stomach wrecking news the next day. We cannot live in fear that's for sure, what's gonna happen next and how I'm going to go about it. I guess we are here and we are what we are. We have today and we have world awakening every single morning. Take yourself to that place, breathe fresh air in, listen to the life surrounding you and tell yourself how blessed and fortunate you are to feel all of this..it could be worse...it could be better. ..but it is not as dark we see it with our own eyes.. you my dear friend are making miracles happen - creating future ahead. By being yourself and fighting through all the struggles. Stay connected. ...we need you as much as you need us, even if it feels like the furthest corner in a world is the safest place to be....keep holding onto heaven - your worth it......

.... ....ps. i seen a little note on Soul's tread and I'm sure she won't mind me enlightening you on her path. Still kick a*s grill master, still kicking a***s at work and of course chilling with that cold one now and again. Not really active member on here anymore but ....as all of us - still keeps fighting the good fight!!!!!! Equally sharing the path in this recovery 🙂 sorry for the ramble darling...just want you to know that you are never on your own and there are many many souls listening and walking alongside you all the way. ..take care and stay safe. S xx

Thank you Sandra and Judy for being there for me as it has been an unkind week.

My lovely neighbour has died, one of the nicest men you could meet, my sister in law's father died yesterday and the same day my best friend of over forty years diagnosed with bowel cancer. Death is the thing I struggle most with in this life, too many unsaid thoughts that will never be heard, too much pain for those left behind and so it goes. I so understand Joan's letters to Ed.

My work also had a big impact on me this week strangely enough also around death, so much worse for a teenager left alone in a strange country. Needless to say I foolishly resorted to my default brain anaesthetic after getting lost in London, exhausted and unable to drive further, what a fool.

As you so rightly say Sandra in the midst there are good things, spent a lovely evening with my daughter at a Joan Armatrading concert midweek, music always seems to make me feel alive and that there is hope again. Her words are so special and they bridge the generation gap so well, she is an amazing lady, the same age as me but has led such an extraordinary life meeting Mandela and fighting for her causes, very humbling.

So the next few days are filled with people, often I prefer my own company when I am not working but it will keep me safe while I rebuild my strength and look at new strategies ready for the fight I know is to come. Can't give up now.

Hi Dragonfly,

I too prefef my own company during down times. When I was a kid I used to paint and draw, write poems, and play guitar. I dont know what happened to that girl or where she went? I used to put all my energy and angst into my creations. These days, I look forward to down time all day and when I get home I immediately start f*****g around the house looking for something to tidy or shore up. What I need to do is let my long silver hair down and just relax... easy said I suppose. It's as if my soul is in a state of such unrest! I am so sorry to hear about your neighbor and I completely understand fears about death and dying. I wish I had something helpful to say. I am around all weekend. P is away at a conference in New York. Without my partner in crime I'm not likely to venture out into the streets alone. That's a good thing I guess. ((((DF))))) -joanxxx

Hi Dragonfly... My work has a big impact on me as well. Its the emotional demands of others (not just the clients) that takes its toll. Exercise is my main antidote but as with your good self I aim to build up my inner strength with other strategies. It is not easy. I think you have strength of character to see you through difficult times that you have described. Onwards.. warm regards... S.A

Hi DF,

Was thinking of you a lot yesterday. Seems like i can get reach of you by text anytime but sometimes it feels such a big distance where i can't voice what i want to say..does that makes sense? Lol...
Anyway, check your emails tomorrow cause a little plan in my head is made up to tap to you at some point tonight. (Depends how busy work is lol...but hell...i always find time for the ones i care )

Stay safe darling

(((((DF))))) xxx

Hi DF

A wee quick "hello" and as usual, I've become engrossed in your writing- always so poetic (even the bad bits!). Keep the monkeys caged and stay safe.

ITake care

Irene

x

Good morning DF,

Wanted to bump your tread up where it belongs..page one.

Never forgotten. Together we stand girl, keep posting.

Get it all out...good, bad and the ugly.
That little plan hooligan you mentioned earlier this month might truly come true 🙂 ...but...we need you there to fill that so important space in that request. .. Duncs will be a co-pilot since we have our crazy driver of M6 in a gang lol..final destination WILL be reached for sure 🙂

What do you think? Let's do it soldier!

((((((((((DF))))))))))

S xx