Moving on..Day 1 and on

Thank you for you replies.. Too right I am doing well! I still can't quite believe what I have achieved here.. Today is 90 days / 3 months!!

I feel so happy to be here and not to have gambled. What I would have considered impossible a year ago is achievable!

Righty oh.. Need to psyche myself up for that next vice. I think I may buy 1 last post-budget pouch of tobacco but it will be my last. What quitting gambling has taught me my help...

1. It can be done!

2. Don't give up!

3. It gets easier!

4. Sometime ahead when in recovery, you'll ponder on why you ever did it in the first place.

Wish me luck

Alex

Day 95...Seems incredible that I can write that number down and know that I'm 5 days away from being 100 days free of gambling. It's a good thing to be rid of now, but it was such a different story when I first came here and was a bit of a pranny, who thought he could control his gambling. Something no gambler can truly do.

So, anyway; I feel good about this milestone and the ones to come, as I'll view gambling looking back on these milestones as a really bad memory, or a life experience that hurt a great deal but has taught me a lot. Namely, gambling isn't for me and I can move on and better myself without it in my life.

Of course, I wish I could go back and have word with myself, that very first night I gambled, but I know I can't either. I must make the best of a bad situation. As gamblings after affects, are still causing me problems - mainly because it got in the way of working and has left me quite broke (oh well :)). Still, I will make up for the lost days and work my richer, rather than gamble myself poorer. The rest of the year is going to be a real test in that respect, as I need to knuckle down and graft to survive ending back on the dole, which is one place I want to avoid being above all others as I once spent two years stuck in that vicious cycle. Anyway, I will try my hardest. I've done it before and will no doubt pull through. I'm starting to believe in myself again, rather than always taking pity on myself.

No more gambling. That part of my life is over. Still on my guard however. Always will be. For the time being though, I feel it's not a problem and not something I wish to do again.

Also, I have a couple of other vices that need conquering. I know I can better myself without being stuck in a vice. I have to move on and get on, knowing I'll be better off. I will overcome these things too.

Hope you are all well.

All the best & Stay strong

Alex

Hey Alex,

Much congrats to your outstanding achievement! I'am looking forward to that 100 day mark myself, and will be treating myself to a new watch or pendent for my necklace. Something to remind me of my sobriety and how far I've come on my journey. And if I'am feeling down I will have something tangible to look at to remind myself what can be accomplished. I hope all is well and you do the same for yourself in 5 days, stay strong!

Chicagoguy

Thank you, Chicagoguy. There are testing days with all this I to say, and today is certainly one for me. Had an evening from hell and I'm probably going to have to move out to live at my dads. Not good, but not a reason to gamble. I would have done before, I believe. I'd have used it as a excuse to gamble and escape from my problems. How things have changed in my near 100 days. For the better.

So, a positive spin on things is needed here.. It isn't the end of the world and I sort of get a fresh start. Why gamble eh?

I found an old bank statement the other day and just let couldn't get round how I could gamble such stupid amounts when I couldn't really afford too. It was me being that addict, I suppose. I can't get my head around it now though. It's just insane to me.

Anyhoo..4 days away from that day 100 now. I can and will do better in the next 100 days that will follow it. It'll be tough on personal and mental level but worth it if I want to lead a better quality of life.

All the best & Stay strong

Alex

Hey Alex

Lovely to hear from you again and thank you.

Wow you!! Almost 100 days gamble free!! Make sure you treat yourself well (not with the yucky yucky though)!! Ha. Just be kind to yourself and buy/do something nice.

Take care.

Feb.

Hey Alex,

Glad to hear your doing well. Enjoy that time with your father. The last year my father was here, before passing away, I got to be his roommate for that year. That's time you can never get back, so treasure it and enjoy it someday you'll look back upon the time living with your father and have fond memories of it. Your doing great, stay strong! I hope you have a nice Easter.

Chicagoguy

Day 101...I have now past day 100.

Some thoughts on being free of compulsive gambling.

So, I started this diary back in October 2012, when after another losing session of compulsive gambling I felt all the negative emotions that come with being an unlucky loser. In truth, I came here as early as late 2011 during my first year as a compulsive gambler, but I felt scared about letting go of what was becoming a crutch, or as I thought of it too, an escape. How daft was I to walk away.

Getting free of gambling was hard to begin with, as I kept on doing it with the so-called 'slips' while in recovery. My mind wasn't ready to let go of something which I'd been doing for so long, I believe.

Anyway.. My last bet was on the 22nd of December 2012. I haven't gambled since, and whilst it was very hard early on, I know that it was the time to move on and have myself a clean slate without gambling.

Today, I can truthfully say whilst gambling has been detrimental to my future, as I went through any savings I had, getting out of that trap was the best thing I have done in years. I no longer feel tied to that need to gamble, as I never needed to do it anyway. It will rob you of your money, yes, but worst of all it will rob you of your time. I have some semblance now of self-control in my life again too and a burning desire to do more and get more out of life.

In short.. Gambling - not good. Not gambling - Best thing you will ever do.

I hope others still caught up like we were will see the light and get free of this horrible addiction.

I wish you all the best on your journeys in recovery. You can and you will do it, if you put your mind to it. 🙂

Thank you to everyone who supported me along the way. 😉

Still be posting, but not as much.

All the best,

Alex

P.S. Got myself some books as a treat for Day 100. Also gonna give up the tobacco soon, I promise.

Hey Alex,

My thoughts are exactly of your last post these days. So glad to not be in the hooks of the addiction anymore. But I will always remain cautious of where it took me. Keep strong and have that relapse plan in place. Much congrats to your 101 days. Glad you treated yourself to a present, you deserve it!

Chicagoguy

Great post Alex well done agree with all you say.

Take care

The bear

past 100 days, well done mate

'they' (who they are I don't know!) say that 90 days is what you need to break first of all

Day by day is the best i reckon though

Thank you for all your comments. I'm still going one day at a time with this Joe, believe me :). I still have the odd 'pang' and think of throwing a bet on or even playing poker. However, hindsight tells me at this point now I cannot do those things again. It wasn't just mindless 'leisure entertainment' gambling, it (gambling) was all controlling and on my mind every other minute when I was a gambler. "I must play another game of..." "I should put a bet on" "If only I'd.." "I've lost again." "Why am I doing this?" "What has become of my life?" - Those are sort nagging things that would run through my mind constantly when I was a gambler.

Also, it was damaging not only to my mental health, but also psychical health and even spiritual health. What fool knowing what damage this addiction can do gambles again. ME. I did it. Over and over. I gambled and knew it wasn't good for me. I was in denial though. It took a long time to snap myself out of it too, thinking I'd win big in the end (derp, as my younger brother would say lol). What a pranny I've been these past two years. A seemingly harmless £10 bet one night and I was sucked right in by it.

Still, it feels darn good to be free of it now.

Honestly can't see myself gambling now. I can't say I'll never ever gamble, but at this present moment and for the foreseeable future it's not something I want to do.

-Alex

Hi Alex.

A huge congratulations for passing your 100 day mark. I am so pleased for you. it's lovely to hear that you also have a completely different mindset to gambling now!!

Keep uo your great efforts to remain free from gambling. How about the "yucky yucky's"?

Take care.

Feb.

I'm doing well, Feb. Thank you. Still haven't quit smoking but have cut down considerably. Will quit soon enough as the price/cost of smoking is just too great not just money wise but also health, of course.

I really am a changed person thanks to giving up gambling, I must admit. It is a very healthy thing not to do. So glad I have 'self-control' back in my life again.

Even now, it might seem early, but I just don't want that life again. I don't want to gamble. It gets easier with each passing day. I feel very blessed to be out of the trap though. My mind at current thinks of others still locked in by compulsive gambling, mainly the ones who are starting a miserable journey into an abyss but also long time year-after-year types.

In many ways, I'm kind of relieved I've managed to find a way out of it- What I really mean is, I found a way out early, after just under two years of compulsive gambling. How bloomin' horrible would it have been for me to have been stuck as a compulsive gambling for longer.

Makes me think I was lucky to make for the exit early.

Have a nice weekend all. 🙂

Alex

Hey Alex,

Great job! I'am right there with you as for as life is so much better without that nasty addiction. It just takes some time and dedication to stick to the path of being gamble free, enjoy your weekend, and be proud of yourself.

Chicagoguy

Bit miserable today, but glad I haven't gambled. Today would have been one of those days I'd use to escape from my problems and I'd have gambled away excessively. Feeling lousy and am facing the future poorer because of mistakes, but not gambling is a big plus right now. I really, really need to appreciate that. It's a positive note on a day that has brought bad news, money wise.

*note to self*

I need to use today to spur myself in action.

-Alex