Moving on..Day 1 and on

Well done Alex.

Would you believe something very similar happened to me like that today. My salary went into my account a day early for some unknown reason, which then threw me. It took me back to when i would anxiously wait for this to happen and then often gamble most of this away!!

Thankfully, like you, i quickly came to my senses and reminded myself of all the heartache it caused and how it is now 4 months and 2 days ago that i last gambled. Blocks are the best thing I believe.

Take care and remain strong in your commitment, you are doing great!!

Feb.

Thank you, Feb.

I'm just relieved I didn't start that cycle again, as I know one game of poker could just send me back into nightmare. It started with poker, so being sensible, I must avoid it like the plague.

Sports bets on the other hand are a real dilemma. I never really had too much of an issue, other than when I tried to chase losses from poker. Whilst the football season is now over, I'm thinking to September; The new season and sports bets.

Is it okay to have the odd small bet once in a blue moon on your team, or is it just worth avoiding?

Maybe I'm a little mixed up still. Gambling and how bad I got is still fresh in my mind. I need to reflect on what I got from it, which is very little, and how it benefited my own future. The answer to latter, of course, it didn't. It messed it up.

Feel very lucky to be 'sober' still. Came quite close to quitting my recovery and starting to gamble again. I kept thinking at the time, how easy it would be to set up another account on a different site, remove the blocks in place etc. Thankfully, I did neither, knowing shortly after these troubling thoughts that gambling offers very little entertainment and mainly torment in the long run.

Anyway, it's safe to say I still need to be on my guard. As we all should. It's better out of it (gambling), than in. I go back to my thoughts on the whole thing being one big illusion now, knowing it's how I must view gambling truthfully. It's a scam, it's a scheme, it's a lie. Entertainment? My backside.

Glad not to be a gambler, but on my guard.

-Alex

Hi Alex

Interested to read that sports bets never gave you any trouble. Same here, thats what I've tried to aspire to for over 4 years now. Trouble is there are not enough sports bets at regular enough intervals which take my interest and thus I get involved in gambling on many other things which only give me problems. Hope you stay strong and best of luck in your recovery.

Hi Captain,

Sports bets are tricky for me too. Whilst I am happy to say that today I am 6 months free of gambling, it was Poker, Roulette etc that really sent me in a downward spiral. That isn't to say that we should all throw money on horses or football, as right now, I wish to do neither. Way I see it, at this moment, is a bet is a bet. A bet on a spin, a colour, a score, a horse, a hand - a bet is a bet. One bet will more than likely lead onto another, just as one cigarette will re-hook the old smoker.

Not going to lie, part of me would love to gamble again, but the better part of me, the responsible, self-disciplined side that has more sense says simply "NO."

Happy to be gamble free - 6 months today. Much more to work on with still, but being bet free is making me feel pretty good today.

Keep finding myself coming back here after the weekend of urges. That can't be a bad thing as I haven't gambled and reading others posts on here kinda sets in my mind why I don't need to gamble again.

Really glad I kicked my urges out of my mind and didn't follow through on my planned betting. How silly that would have been. Very relieved. The urge to gamble just came out of nowhere which is scary, but being this far gone now without betting, I know I don't need it in my life anymore.

I so wish I could go back two years and kick myself in the b**t for starting the downward spiral that gambling caused. I got hooked so quickly. May 2011 should have had alarm bells ringing, as I gambled every penny I had. It makes me sick now thinking about it. I spent hours, days, and wasted it gambling. Chain-smoking while playing poker up until the early morning. I even remember thinking "This is self-sabotage.. This is self-destructive" but like any addict I carried on in total denial. I was a different person. I know different now. I learnt the hard way, I suppose - That you really, never win, and in the end it's a nasty and viscous cycle. God, why did I not quit it sooner?

In many ways though, it has been a learning experience too though, so these things happen for a reason. Surviving, getting out and being free of it has made me happy. We cannot have bad without the good. Sometimes things just get messed up. There is light though, we will find it again.

Alex

Happy ex-gambler.

Alex.

"happy ex gambler"

Great post and that says it all.

Keep making that choice to better your tomorrow.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Okay..got my dates mixed up. It's not 6 months since my last bet, but 5 months and 3 days. Not that it matters all too much. It seems like an eon since that last bet back in December. It had been a hard slog to begin with, urges galore, but battling through, as the months have passed its been easier. It took commitment. And I will stay committed to this. Have the odd nostalgic thought to my gambling days, but I know those days were all wasted.

Got to live my life again. Have to. It saddens me greatly that gambling affected my hobbies to the point where I'd given up cycling and fishing. Nowadays, I seem to waste a lot time doing nothing.

I need a clean slate and I will push myself for some kind of fresh start. Still have demons, but it's more procrastination and motivation that seem to be my issues. Some days I'm okay, but at other times I'll just sit playing games, then at the end of it all thinking "God, what am I doing with my life! I never used to do this!!"

I have much to learn and there are things that I need to work on right now. In short, I need to work on improving my life and growing as a person again, rather than withering away like I did when I was a compulsive gambler.

Change coming soon. Need to ready myself!

----

GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY

TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE,

THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN,

AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

-----

-Alex

Hey Alex,

Much congrats to you and all your hard work also. Monday I'll be 140 days gamble free, and it's great to have been able to take a negative experience and turn it into a positive through abstinence. I really appreciate your kind words toward my father, thank you for that. We must be close in our sobriety days? Or not that far off. One of my brothers name is Alex, writing to you reminds me of him since you both have the same name. Enjoy your weekend, and stay strong were doing it!

Chicagoguy

Having urges again. Silly, I know. I then have to concede that I can't and won't let myself slip up. Just the thought of setting up another account on a gambling site gives me chills, but that stupid side of me that got me in this bother thinks "One more bet."

I am a true winner though, having not gambled. Now 5 months have passed since my last bet, there are days and days when I don't give gambling a thought, let alone have any urges. Then the urges creep up on me out of nowhere.

It must be sheer amount of time I wasted on it (one year and half), and looking back at it through rose tinted glasses. Being realistic, it brought me nothing but pain and to boot, it robbed me too. Why the heck would I need to go through that again? I don't.

Still, won't be gambling and these urges are gone now. *Change first sentence to 'Had urges'. 🙂

-Alex

Having a bit of a low period at the moment. Had to come here to stop myself from gambling again to escape it all. I know that would have been a silly thing to do, but I feel really low at the moment thinking about my future.

Just came back from a gambling site, got as far as the registration form then turned off the site.

I'm in a dark place at the moment, I know that. Yet, gambling won't solve any of it.

Yes. Money worries. Yet, not even mine. What a laugh. My dad is the one debt. His business went kaput a few years ago and the debt from it lingers around. I'm worried for his welfare, if I'm honest. He's even talking about funerals and has a monthly payment thing set up to cover in case of his death.

This world is harsh some times.

Feel trapped.

That being said, wasting what little money I have on gambling isn't going to accomplish anything.

Whenever I got low like this before I'd just ride off on my bike or go fishing. Get away from it. What the heck happened to me?

There will be better times ahead. I must stay positive.

Sorry for being bleak. Life hasn't finished me off just yet. 🙂

On a positive note, I haven't registered with any gambling site, haven't made a deposit and have not gambled to escape my misfortune and misery. Feel very lucky I have this place to come to.

Now gonna pick up an angsty book - Fight Club. That'll help more than gambling.

-Alex

Feel much better for having posted on here tonight. Really glad I have this place to come to. It was a close call. I very nearly messed it up tonight. So happy I can be stronger and can continue to beat this.

Note to self:

Gambling is not a lovely, dreamy escape to wallow in. It's a hellish roller-coaster heading into the ghost house of horrors. A true nightmare, where problems you have only multiply. You are a better person for not having gambled. 5 months free. Bring on the next 5 months.

-Alex

Well done Alex for staying strong and determined to remain gamble free. I have too been feeling down lately but I posted the other day that even if I was too low for zero, gambling would not remedy that - it would just hinder that further.

You did the right thing comming on here when you need your Gamcare friends the most when you are feeling low and vulnerable.

Keep reminding yourself of the misery gambling has brought you and hopefully, this will help to deter you once more.

Take care and hope you are feeling brighter soon.

Feb.

Well done Alex for staying strong and determined to remain gamble free. I have too been feeling down lately but I posted the other day that even if I was too low for zero, gambling would not remedy that - it would just hinder that further.

You did the right thing comming on here when you need your Gamcare friends the most when you are feeling low and vulnerable.

Keep reminding yourself of the misery gambling has brought you and hopefully, this will help to deter you once more.

Take care and hope you are feeling brighter soon.

Feb.

Thanks for your support, Feb.

You are very right. It'd just be so stupid to start that horrid nightmare all over again. We're best off without it. I had a rough day yesterday, and everything seems quite uncertain at the moment. It can jolt you emotionally. It was one of the reasons I got caught up in all this - Bad day, escape, gamble, etc. It was like a drug addiction, it truly was. I'm stronger now though.

Might have to start a clean slate soon, start over. I have nothing to lose at the moment.

-Alex