My 2016 diary

Afternoon Kris , all good here thanks buddy !

Glad you got the car thing sorted out , thing's happen then they pass , it's just life but in the world we've lived for the past who knows how long we've ignored life and not dealt with it on a daily basis ,so just deal with each day as it comes and life's problems as they come at you !

Hopefully the counciling will soon get going for you and may open you up for a bit of in depth self exploration , who knows what you may learn about yourself egh?.

Glad to hear that youve no thoughts of seeing Mr G again , so thats another positive to take , as you say just keep focused on that first goal of a month !

Onwards and upwards buddy ! Was gonna say ( " To infinity and beyond ") but sounded a bit naff mate !.

Have a great day my friend !

well ive almost made it "To infinity and beyond" or as I like to call it “a month” 🙂

It was a month ago to the day I was driving round sorting a few computer problems for friends and customers. Got my little lad and wife with me though I was to drop her at work before heading over to my last job.. I did the last job and my boy was covered in chocolate from the biscuits they gave him.. I remember this as it’s the last pic I have before what was to follow…

Anyway on the way home I though all is well on the financial front I’ll call and get my temp account closure re-opened… So I got home and spent an hour on the phone and web chat trying to get through.. finally did and we’re off….

£100 in lost… £300 in … 25 min later £4k up and a grand in the bank… life is good … lets see if I can get a big roll to come in I have lots to play with … didn’t quite work and was down to 1.3K .. but phew .. back to 4K in minutes… *WALK WALK WALK* rattles round my now emotionless head…. *I can remember reading on here some one being asked what would they like to win >? Oh if only I could have answered that at the time… £4k would have been nice* but I was to keep going and this time… bang all gone + another 3K … though here comes a life line .. how about win 0 loose 0 ./.? good deal it would seem being 3k down…. Nope I wanna get back to that 4k … so by 8pm almost everything I had was gone (2hours)… remember that chocolate on my boy.. well its time we had a bath I did while trying to come to terms with what just happened…. I then had to tell the wife *theres no hiding this* .. I did./.. I then went back on .. £300 in £4k up .. though I need the rest of what I lost to make any diff… so all gone again and that was the start of the worst month of my life so far !

Though here I am .. I’ve made it ./. I’m 6 hours from a full month of not a single bet on anything… would I change that night.. d**n right who wouldn’t… but for as long as I remember I’ve always said … I’m here today for what I did yesterday .. I am today for who I was yesterday .. everything happens for a reason…

If I had to live through this month to get to a better place next month then it will be worth every minute of it.. If I never gamble again then the 21/12/15 will forever be seen as the turning point in my life !

I have my health .. my family .. my job … and now a future without gambling .. I wont rest on that .. I will continue to make sure it doesn’t happen again !

Got the start to counselling Tuesday ! brilliant J once I get through the next few months other things in my life will need to change but I’m taking it one step at a time

I think a can or two is in order later .. celebrate the month .. 🙂

Other things to look forward to … Will get back some money from a friend tomorrow ! win .. wife will be coming home drunk tomorrow night *jury is still out on this one but it will be nice for her that’s for sure*

Sunset 16:26 ! yay

Speak again in the morning I’m sure happy days

Good post kris ! look at that night a month ago as a 4 grand makeover of your future , money weell spent as your'e future now looks lovely and bright !

Sending my slightly early congratulations on your month !

Well done my friend and "To Infinety and beyond " ,Still sound's naff when I say it ! lol.

Enjoy your well earned night buddy !

Thanks alan !! It's been a roller coaster of a month I'm sure 99% of members have been through in one way or another .. I'm probably one of the fortunate ones if there's such a thing of having hit bottom but not lost it all .. There's a long road ahead I'm not hiding that fact for 17 years I've gambled one way or another in varying degrees of expenditure I'm still banned from national lottery online scratch cards from 2004 ish I think lol so it's a part of me that a month or a day won't change.. But every day I don't gamble and stay strong is another chip away and another step in the right direction ..

This site is a big help I enjoy reading though even if I don't post much other diaries and skipping through to see the journey in an instant and it's a great read and like me most start to get to grips and start feeling better in a relivly short period..

Home > pick up boy > shop for beers and home to enjoy the eve while the missus is at work .. And I have a cream bun for the boy ! He will love that I'm sure 🙂

Speak soon matey

so a saturday morning post...

Today was going to be a hard day for me as i have money in the bank and in the wallet again after a long month... I'm happy enough with what i have so have transferred all the money i dont need for a few drinks with the mates later and can go about the day gamble free again.. This will be the first time since that day i have money to "burn" so to speak .. but not giving to any of our favourite friendly book makers oh no this time the family get treated .. i get treated and everyone is happy

i want to stare it in the face and laugh that i am stonger than the will to gamble .. 32days gamble free and i will make it to 33

kris

Afternoon Kris , good post buddy !

What a nice feeling having money put away as a back up for what life throws at us , I very rarely banked any cash as it wouldn't be around long enough most weeks , so there wasn't much point really as I would just waste good gambling time getting it back out again ?.

How that's changed the last few months , my accounts stayed in the black and starting to build a nest egg again , plus all bills now being paid on time , such a difference in a short time but I'm not getting sucked back into regret mode at what I've wasted . As far as I'm concerned I spent the money to cure my habit and thats money well spent as far as I'm concerned !

You have a happy day mate and keep stareing and laughing in the face of the little G , coz he aint that big anymore !!.

Take care Kris !

34 days ,

hey alan, Seems we have both been down the same road .. and took the same turn to get off.. I was quite happy with myself saturday as we were playing cards and I wouldnt even play a £1 in on the poker just for the reason I have got to 33 days and i would have felt that would have re-set the counter ... probably wouldn't have counted as a gamble but was nice to say I dont gamble on anything and sit out that hand 🙂 now most of my mates know i dont gamble on anything (though they aren't aware of what happened I will wait on that front till I know where i am going to stand on the IVA)

I have a job interview tomorrow so a bit of prep tonight to get some of my scripts in order so i can demo some of the things I've done... was a shame about my stereo on friday as the garage couldn't get it to work then were unwilling to go to vauxhall for the codes as i didnt buy the unit from them @1400 lol... but lucky the guy who i bought it off is going to help out on that front 🙂 so fingers crossed it's only a week without the music again !

i'm starting to live my life without the need for a bet ... it's no longer an everyday thought .. i watch footie results and just don't care who was the upset just check on my team and the table ... got a text from another mate who lost a bet in the 88th minute (he would have won 600+) i say won the amount he's lost wouldn't cover it ... but sure he'll try again..

anyway back to work...

next target 40 days and take it from there

Kris

so I've made it to 36 days.. 🙂

Things are looking up ... I went for a job interview yesterday and was offered the job within 4 hours .. Taking a nice pay rise in the process along with being able to drive to work , I catch the trains at the moment .. it fits great with the boys nursery as i will pass it on the way so i get an extra 30 mins at home in a morning, though as it's a longer working day i do loose a bit on an eve but only about 10 min or so as i won’t have to walk home for the car then head to nursery ...

It does make me think what if, I would have been almost free of issues financially and had lots more on top .. though the same as an IVA it would have taken 5 years to clear everything so I may be even better off if all goes to plan ..

Gambling is drifting into the past.. I don’t even think about it at all, I'm also feeling better now January is almost out of the way.. i see daylight in a morning and on the evening ..

I had money last week and i have money today and it's payday tomorrow .. I would have spent the lot in hope of that big win just over a month ago but not today. Today i bought some bits for a few repairs and didnt have to use a credit card or borrow the money so going back to living to my means is working well.

Was looking at holidays last night as a surprise for the wife, as much as we argued she had been so forgiving and supportive of the issues, I think it’s the least I can do with the first few wages.. £800 holiday won't be a struggle now and to take the little Mr on his first holiday in the sun will be great.

I should hopefully get the first stage of getting the stereo coded tomorrow which i can;t wait for.. Half day holiday too then just wait till Sunday and I will have music..

Today is a happy gambling free day.. and here's to a lot more

Kris

day 37.. they're adding up quickly 🙂

so today is payday.. but instead of heading online for a bet I have decided to pay for my wife's driving lessons.. I'm not paying any debts while the IVA is going through so using the spare for something a little more worth while 🙂 the holiday can wait as she really needs the freedom of driving..

Tomorrow i'm out for a few drinks with a friend of mine who is also an addicted gambler .. he bets on anything ! though i'm feeling very strong willed and doubt i will even have a £ on the bandits .. doubt probably doesnt cover the will power!! --- i wont bet.!!. every pound that doesnt go into a bandit is a pound towards recovery 🙂

3 more days till the next target and i will make it

Kris

Morning Kris, So glad to see things looking up for you , with the new job , the car and all the plans your making , its only what you deserve through putting so much effort back into recovery , so well done my friend and carry on enjoying life !!

All the best for now Alan

thanks Alan,

I really am determined to sort my self out.. today i contacted another help service to address some other issues in my life.. something that has been a part of my life through my 20's till now .. though not an everyday thing it's a weekly thing that just add's to problems so its time to go clean on all fronts 🙂

Accepting the gambling problem and tackling it has shown that I am able to address things better once theyre in the open and I seek help 🙂

I'm sure life can only get better.. now i've started the road to recovery I may as well get to the finish line (if theres such a thing, though each morning i come on here is another finishing line crossed)

hope all is wel with you too matey

Kris

Hi Kris,

Im new to this and have just started my own diary recently and reading through yours this morning has really helped me to see that there is a way forward even though it feels really hard at the moment.

Good luck and i hope it continues to go well for you.

Damian

so 38 days !! 🙂

When i started the counter the days never seemed to add up so fast yet here I am in touching distance to my next goal of 40 days 🙂

I'm meeting my friend later for a drink or two and thats going to mean the PUB and bandits around 🙂 .. I am looking forward to it tbh.. while the strength and will power is there I wan't to be there and get the routine out of the way of ordering a pint and loosing a 5 spot in them.. Also going to let him know i'm on here and getting help , I know he would like to stop so going to try and point him in the right direction 🙂

If i'm too busy or forget , I hope we all have a great (gamble free) weekend and speak again monday when I will have hit the next target 🙂

Kris

Edited

All good thing's come to those who wait !!!

Enjoy your sound's my friend !!

Alan