My 2016 diary

hey matey ,

Ish , they want me to start on the 29th and have said it wont matter about the references from this place so they kinda think it's unreasonable too... I just have to let my boss know that the job could fall though if i dont start and i have no choice but to breach the notice period... I have in writing they didn't tell me about it prior to me accepting the job with the recruitment agency so gonna play dumb on that 🙂

see how it goes i wont let it get me down as again its a little out of my hands and there is a job waiting when i leave .. I doubt they would try and take me to court over it though it would close the door firmly behind me lol , not a problem as i could tell a few weeks into this job is wasnt for me ... not enough to do and well too much red tape

~Kris

day 45 !! 5 days to next target...

nearly a working week passed since i handed my notice in and i'm still in limbo .. gonna have to chase that up with my manager ...

short and sweet this morning as lots to sort at work.

Have a good gambling free weekend ... I will thats for sure

Kris

day 48 (day 2 < spearate counter 🙂 )

so had a good weekend ish (poorly sat night) broke an ipad when repairing it but that happens and was broken before i got it just in a different way lol

anyway day 48.. 2 days from my target of 50 ! which is great and it's really good to not even think about gambling at all... probably over a week since the last thought 🙂 .. still got my counselling tomorrow which should be a little more in debth rather than an overview and paper work lol... also after work i go to counselling to address my second counter i have going that will be strange i'm sure but has to be addressed like everything else...

But on the brighter side of life.. we have come to an agreement for the new job and i will start on the 14/03 giving 6 weeks notice.. means I leave on good terms here and can claim all the holiday pay etc 🙂 just hoping paydays land together and i get half and half from each job at the end of march ! half just wouldn't cut it for a month lol

and just after that good news .. i find out my car is back from the repair shop on wednesday ... can't wait as the tt hire car just isnt big enough for the average family .. basically a 2 seater .. but we made it work...

and now we are into the home straight on the IVA front ... a week on wednesday I will find out whats going to happen :/

sun is setting past 5 oclock now and really feeling the benefit of the lighter days

hope we're all good and here's to another gambling free week

Kris

Hiya Kris , just a quickie to wish you well and glad that things are all coming together, in different ways of course but at least things are slowly getting sorted . When you look back even just a few weeks ago , you really didn't know what was happening with anything , so all in all your'e getting things together !

Well done buddy , keep moving forward with your life and keep up the great positivity !

Regards and Respect ......................Alan

afternoon Alan,

things are coming together.. it's a struggle at times when things don't just work out as expected and as soon as I jump one hurdle another is right there in front of me : though i'm still jumping them and none have yet been too high ! 🙂

To look back into december there was nothing ahead : literally nothing ! i couldn't see how i could possibly get out of that crater .. even through january things were looking bleak .. but then slowly, things started to change .. I'm not sure i did anything different apart from the not gambling.. But i can only guess having my focus on other things started to change my outlook .. letting go of the past has helped me to look forward ..

will keep positive .. job is sorted and such a relief to leave on good terms etc..

to face my second deamon is a daunting one.. one that will take more self control than the gambling one.. not so easy to put blocking software on my brain haha but i shall attack it in the same mannor .. and hopefully that will bring with it the best rewards, more quality time at home with my boy ! through the best years of his life:)

will keep my diary updated throughout, be good to read back in march when i start me new job and we hit BST ! it will be a trip through a manic 3 months

All the best mate

day 50 (5)!

next taget achieved !! woop... great feeling .. probably the longest period since i was 17 that i haven't gambled a single penny ! 🙂

Next and 1 very important target is just 7 days away ! 57 days from that night i will hear about the IVA just 1 week to go... very excited to see what will happen good or bad .. hoping for the good as i can get a little closure to the ordeal and look forward to a new bright future without gambling or the worry of debt !

had councelling yesterday and the time flies talking about things without the need for holding back.. 50 min seems like 5 min ... good news is i can also talk to her about both issues which i didn't know i could 🙂 though i had my "assesment" at the dedicated counselling too in the evening and go back to both in 2 weeks..

On the job front all is sorted and an amacable resoution to my notice period has been agreed at 6 weeks .. though it does mean i will get paid 1.5 months money this month .. must have the will power to not go blow it on any front 🙂 probably pay 2 months rent to make sure that is sorted at least as i won't be 100% sure on my first payday from the new job .. I may check that out when emailing the hr team with my details.. need to get childcare vouchers sorted too 🙂

anyway have a good one and speak in the morning ..

Kris

50 days Kris.....what an achievement, you sound delighted and so you should be.

I always enjoy reading your updates cause they are so positive.

Well done with it all mate.

cheers damo !

day 52(7) ..

so we are only 5 days away from my next target and creditors meeting ... eeeeeeek it's going to get very real very quick now.. no gambling at all and 0 thoughts of it either

🙂 it’s an easy ride these days but i can't take that as I’m over it cause i know full well it takes a silly few min to fall right off the rails so still keeping strong and keeping my mind focused !

It’s a tough day on my 2nd counter (Friday) as this is the day i normally head out to my friends for the evening .. but not today ! i have made my mind up and not getting the usual thoughts and feelings so hoping for a fun packed weekend of emptying the garage and taking all the c**P to the skip ! 🙂 and also getting my (lads pad room completed after 4 months) got my pc to get all up and running and not just in there side off looking a mess ! ..

Bacon Friday is now fruit bowl Friday .. i'm starting to like these fruit packs so giving a change of lifestyle a pop .. hope the vitamins etc help keep my mind focused ..

Hope we are all well and will report back Monday ... < I could know about the IVA on Monday or Tuesday according to the IP .. but still will keep Wednesday as the D Date ..

Kris

Morning Kris , look at you on 52 and getting all healthy ! Well done my friend and keep up he positivity ! Deep respect , Alan !

day 54,(9)

It's unusual i would post on here on a Sunday but as you can see from the second counter this isn’t a normal weekend for me J I managed the pub without heading out to satisfy anything else so massive pat on my own back for that … ! it will def help as we head into the final few days before the IVA meeting !! ..

This weekend has been great managed to do some tip runs and get rid of all the box’s and c**P that’s been building up … then fix a few phone bits for friends.. as the wife is working today I went out with the boy to feed the ducks J it last all of 3 min’s then the loaf was gone .. don’t think an 18 month old appreciates the logic behind breaking up the slices haha

Anyway here we go , t minus 3days .

Hope we all have had a good weekend

Kris.

day 55,(10)

so sat in work this morning feeling tip top and cracking on with s**t where i would normally be looking forward to bed... not today I'm focused on the job at hand .. I have 4 weeks left of my notice period and lots to get finished too 🙂 ... i'm trying not to think about the IVA but that is hard and playing on my mind.. more excitment than anything just to see where I land..

Any news i'll be sure to keep posted ..

55 days gamble free .. its a great feeling to be in control .. to not think about betting .. to enjoy the £10 here and there that i would have waisted on the footie bets .. while a small amount they probably add up over the month .. so now got just over a week will payday and all looking good 🙂

Kris

day 56,(11)

So it’s the penultimate day .. I sit thinking of both outcomes to tomorrows creditors meeting, thinking of the impact each decision holds on my / our future as a family ,,

It brings back feelings of the baby scan near enough 2 years ago, to find out the s*x of our little boy, something so out of my hands would mean so much , I always wanted a boy but the realisation I had no say in the matter was a very strange feeling and I can relate to that again..

I got my wish on that occasion .. can I be so “lucky” again.. mmm may be not .. may be so.. in about 27 hours from now I will know one way or another … could be sooner but not holding out on that .. but my phone won’t leave my side :..

In other news these lighter mornings and evenings are really changing my overall mood , I feel tip top, lots more awake lot’s more positive vibes … and I look towards 2016 as a year I can make it whatever I want it to be.

Hope tomorrow’s later update is a good one till then it’s just another gamble free day

Morning Kris , it's not about luck my friend it's just fate and the old words " Que Sera , Sera " what will be will be ! No doubt what happens later will have an effect on your life either way but I'm sure with your positive attitude to life in recovery you'll deal with it the same way as everything else that's come your way ! Take care fella and all the very best for later ! Respect !

Kris...i second what Alan says. Im sure whatever the outcome i am sure your positivity will help you to deal with it no matter what that outcome is. Saying that i have my fingers crossed that you get your wish.

Damian

hey Alan.

Fate !, something i believe in, on the 21/12/15 my fate was decided for me to stop gambling.. I didnt loose anything that day but gained a life free from gambling ! I gained the strength to address issues in my life that otherwise would have gone unchecked and continued down a slippy slope ! I gathered myself together and found a new job and a new outlook..

I read back through this entire diary today and i mentioned at the start of Feb if i had to live through that torrid month to get a better future then it will be worth it ... So far each painful moment has it's own place for where i am now, and will be this time tomorrow 🙂

Will let you know what Fate had in store for me tomorrow pal 🙂