My diary

Gov

Welcome to the forum, a place full of like minded folk who share the same goal, to arrest that all important next punt, to put an end to the self created misery that is the compulsion to gamble.

Your honesty is a great starting point, from that you can build on your abstinence.

From what you've written in your self analysis I see huge similarities with many compulsive gambler's.

You gamble when folk are asleep because gambling addiction is often our 'dirty little secret' addiction grows with it often lies and a trail of deciept, bringing huge shame and the inability to tell others, nobody likes to brand themselves a loser.

Boredom often comes with the fact that we detach ourselves from the world through the progressive nature of our gambling, my own first and last interest in life became gambling or formulating the next gambling episode.

Lastly debt, that vicious circle, simply my own debts created by the relentless pursuit of the next punt.

Gift yourself

The advice given to me on my first days recovery still works today over three years on.

There is a triangle

Time-money-location

Take one away and the next punt becomes impossible, gifting the rational side of the brain time to think, time to re wire itself .

Embrace recovery, gift it the same time and effort you have gifted to addiction.

The result? A 100% self given pay rise.

Forefill your boredom by turning the life mantra we all live by whilst active gambler's upside down.

I did win because I did stop, rather than

I CANNOT WIN BECAUSE I CANNOT STOP.

Most of all Enjoy it.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Thank you Duncanmac

i really needed your support you are absolutely right I will beat this and this is it .

Today is day 4 I had really bad nightmares last night which I never had in my life I kept seeing slot machines . I was holding money in my hand and refusing to deposit to the slot machine and slot machine was holding on to me and telling me that I need to do this I need to give him my money so I said no and heard my little boy crying so I went and slept in his room .

Got up and felt so great for some reason I know this is going to be my last attempt and I am going to beat it .

I arranged to see my friends tonight for few drinks so this will keep me occupied for tonight .

It really is a great feeling not to gamble . I made a pledge to save every bit of money I would gamble for my little sons future.

I still have very huge debts mostly of gambling and mostly other stuff but once I fully stop feeding the casinos I will pay them quicker than I can imagine .

I will say this

I did win because I did stop to my self everyday

Day 6

all going great and strong

Hi Gov,

Had a flick through your story and seems we have the same problems. Gambling whilst people sleep, gambling whilst in debt in attempt to get out of it and gambling when bored.

I also had the nightmares last night. I was playing roulette and hit a number with £50 on and the casino wouldn't pay out because they knew I was going to give it back anyway. Strange!!!!

In the long run we are all going to be winners and better off mate. Keep strong and keep busy. Plan your days so you don't have much time to have to think about gambling.

I'm on day 3 so will keep looking out to see how your doing.

T