My diary

That’s amazing!! Well done

63 days. 2 months done. Rarely think sky gambling anymore. I think my previous issue was I was trying to get back the money lost. Until I accepted it was gone, I could never truly give it up. If I just do this 6 more times, it'll be 12 full months. Counting down the days

71 days. Had a few dreams that I'm gambling, but I feel guilty when I wake. 29 days until the big 100. Then it'll just be a blip in my past

So today had been a bit of a challenge for me gambling wise. I am going to visit some friends and have to catch 2 trains to do so. The first train I got on, there was a group of men on a stag do who were gambling via a card game. They asked if I wanted to join them, now usually I may have done so, given one guy said he was ВЈ50 up. But I said no, and didn't want to give my money to strangers. Having got off that train, my thoughts were on gambling, which they haven't been in ages. The gap in between my trains is 25 mins and it's very cold, so I went to grab a coffee. In the only warm place, there was a slot machine. Normally I would put everything in my purse in them machine's. I used to do it often when traveling. But today I resisted, and I feel this is for me, not just my husband. Online slots leave a trace in my bank, but today wouldn't have, but I still resisted. I had a ВЈ3.60 coffee and a ВЈ3.00 sandwich. Something I never ever would have done in the past, as I would have thought it was a waste of money. But today I've saved myself the loss of approximately £40 which is in my purse, and I feel great. I just hope I can continue to resist, as I think days like today are going to crop up and I have to face them.

Hi Becky, I’ve just been having a little read through your diary.

Well done on avoiding the temptations of joining in on a game of poker on the train. That must have been quite difficult.

£6.60 for a sandwich and a coffee might seem a little expensive but they’re things to enjoy and that essentially help to keep you alive.

Gambling isn’t. It merely provides fake highs and crippling lows.

Keep on winning by not gambling.

Dan

Thanks Dan. Hope you are doing okay! You are right gambling brings many lows. I always felt low, guilty, ashamed and alone. Life is much better without gambling!

Day 87. Less than 2 weeks to the big 100. I never thought that I'd be able to reach that number. So If I can do it, anyone can.
I've started going to the gym /gym class/ swimming every night. I don't think it's becoming an obsession but I can definitely notice my addictive behavior coming in. I'm not underweight or anything so it's not an issue, but I just hope that I'm not swapping one addiction for another. At least this is only 26 a month and a healthy addictive I guess.

Sometimes I read other people's stories and it scares me how they relapse. I feel strong at the minute, but I'm sure they did too. I can't let it happen. I have everything in place to stop, I haven't even tried to get through the barriers. But what about in a year, 2 years? Will I still feel strong. I guess only time will tell

92 days today. Just over a week and I've reached 100. A number I imagined would be out of my reach, something I would not manage. But here I am, doing it, living it.
I have found that since I've stopped gambling I've been spending money on things I wouldn't usually. Whether it's a good or bad thing I can't tell for sure yet. I'm going on a short break with some friends in a few weeks and I decided to buy a new bikini. Not a huge purchase I know, but I have a load of them that are suitable already. In the past I would rarely buy things like this cause I was continually feeling guilty about the money I spent gambling. Heck I didn't even buy a new bikini for my honeymoon. So only time will tell if I'm spending irresponsibly, or if its normal, and I've just been preventing myself for too long.

Well I hope everyone else is going well. Good luck with your journey

100 days today. Can't quite believe it. Over 3 months. Can't wait until this turns into 365 cause then it is just something that happened a year ago.

Congratulations on day 100 Becky. That is fantastic. You’re living the life that you want to live.

Thank you both. Hope you are both well

Congratulations Becky, wonderful news to hit the three figures! Have a wonderful break when you go and think of it as a nice reward, spending money on making memories like this is what it's all about. Keep it up! 🙂

Becky,

Fabulous achievement. I’m sure you are feeling great about yourself today. This is just the beginning. Keep doing what you’re doing and things will get better and better.

Tomso

Day 106. Been thinking about gambling alot today. Missing some of the slots I played. But haven't given in, and I won't.