My diary 14hrs gamble free

Gambling has striped me bare of everything good in life!

I can remember Gambling from a very young age when I used to go to the arcades with my family playing the 2p shoves. I always felt like I didn't belong and was always a very insecure and anxious child. I felt like I wasn't good enough and incomplete inside. I remember playing at the arcade with my family as a kid and my mum said that I was the one that never wanted to leave. I'd spend my time at school dreaming about the next visit to the seaside arcade. I didn't make friends well at school and my anxious personality continued to grow. Gambling was the only time I didn't feel anything other than hope and excitement.

When I left school and got a job in a supermarket I couldn't wait until payday so I could visit the local snooker Hall and feed the slot machines. Shamefully I ended up stealing to get extra funds for my fix from my employer and family. I moved from one job to another and never satisfied but always desperate for money. This way of life continued until I was 27 and then met my ex wife. My wife had a very good job and earnt plenty of money. I remember taking her to the arcade on our first date and she was warned by my cousin about my issues but she ignored him. With greater access to money from her work my gambling escalated to casinos losing thousands of an evening. After 16yrs together and amassing crippling debt in her name she cheated on me and a divorce followed. I came away with nothing and moved back to my parents at the age of 46yrs old. I was lucky to walk away with no debt as she agreed to pay it back. Moving back to a small town where I'd been away from was so difficult. I found a job but have no friends here as everyone I knew has moved on with their lives. I've been back here 18 months and have been continuously gambling mainly on horses which I wasn't doing too bad on however I was invited to a casino with friends and lost everything I worked for over the last 18 months and then followed it up with a week of high stakes online slots which has put me back in significant debt. I'm not able to confide in my parents because it would break their hearts and cause them significant worry. 

I've reached out to lots of services today and got significant help. I've also installed gamban on my phone, stopped gambling transactions with my bank and got my informracing subscription cancelled. I've worked out that I can be just about debt free in 10 months if I live very lean. Whilst I'm very concerned about the debt I'm sure some others are facing something far more daunting. 

It's amazing how one trip to the casino can unravel so badly when the chasing takes hold followed by online slots. A very costly mistake! I'm just glad i didn't use any other credit i had left available. 

That's pretty much my life told and well done if you've made it to the end.

I look forward to any advise/share backs. 

Thanks 

One day at a time, I can do this!