First day writing and first day without gambling - feel pretty down today - still quite mad at myself for all the damage i have done - and yet knowing all along the damage that it can do and ignoring it - just like they say - insanity is ........doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome - its like watching a movie 5 times and expecting the end to be different - everytime i gamble i know what the end result will be - i know the quilt, pain,anger,frustration , self hate - so why??? i wish at times i could keep that pain in my head so that i won't do it - but with time it eases and then the insanity kicks in- this has got ot end - i can't go on like this anymore - lifes too short to have this kind of memory....wasting to much of my life not being who i really am - showing people who i really am not ........i deserve better than that and so do they - my daughter turns 17 this monday and its so sad to think that the majority of her life i spent gambling - time to get a grip on life - i don't want to grow old regretting my past - thats so sad.................until tomorrow - One Day At A Time...........Penny
Hi Penny,
From now on you are not alone in this process. We are 100% behind you.
Best Wishes,
H
How are you doing today Penny?
Penny, thanks for posting. I too have felt remorse for my past gambling. But, I was just now thinking I can turn that around now and feel happy for all the bad things that haven't happened since I stopped gambling. I wish you those same happy feelings as you go forward. 🙂
Hi Penny, you are not alone with your problems, sharing them will help.
Good luck and stay strong
I was curious what the oldest diary/user on here that hasn't been used or posted on and this one appears to it. A few older ones but they started other diaries
I wonder what Penny is upto now neatly 10 years on. I like to think she's gamble free but I doubt it.
If your out there Penny drop us a line and prove me wrong.
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