My Diary - Restarted Fri 10 Sep 2010

i know you ve been away. . . good on you for getting the blocks on. . Keep up the good work you can do it mate. .

Blocked

come out come out wherever you are.

Let us know you are ok m8 Jeff.

Hi all just got back late friday after a horribly delayed journey. Also had a d**n infection - cold or somthing so aint had much time for anything apart from eating Ibuprofen like candy. Will certainly catch up with everythings thats happening and has happened. Thanks for hassling me while I was away to all. Blocked.

Intermission :

Been thinking last night if I should post this as I dont want to deter others but anyway decided yes I will.

Blocking software - as some might know I blocked all the pcs I have access to with 1 or the other recommended software kits.

My problem it seems becuase I am good with PCs as I work with them daily is I knew that nothing thats installed can not be uninstalled. Anyway while sick with time on hands I started messing with 1 of the pcs. Took me around an hour and I managed to pull to bits the software I had on this 1 system that was protected. In effect making it unprotected. It dont matter which software it is as I dont want to stop others from using this. It dont matter how I did it , dont ask becuase I wont ever say. But I need to re-evaluate my approach to giving up gambling online.

I was excited somhow when I had these kits installed to stop me accessing gaming sites. I made the error of thinking it was some kind of magic fix - although the steady sane half of my brain does know that this kind of software is only an aid - just 1 tool to assist with stopping gambling.

I knew that deep down when I installed the software but thought that the way it was installed I would never be able to get to it. Well I did - and you can imagine the rest. I dont want to go into anything else now as I need to re-focus on how to continue to clear myself of this addiction. I dont think the saftey net of blocking software will work unless I can get them to make some changes to the software. (Im writing to them today to offer a few quite simple suggestions that would stop idiots like me from being able to do this kind of thing)

I really dont want this to deter others from using this kind of software as I can see real value in it for people who maybe dont have so much under the bonnet understanding of Pcs. If done incorrectly BTW it can and will utterly smash your system. But anyway felt I wanted to share this and get it of my chest. New thinking needed.

Im not down today sun is actually shining - Im ready to take on the crisies that are sure to arrive. Still here battling with my addiction. Sorry for the long post. Blocked.

Hi blocked, whether you have this software installed is not important but the fact that you have not gambled recently is, so well done on that my friend as we all know how hard that can be.

I barred myself from the only internet account I had but I too felt that I needed to do this myself rather than rely on some software and I have not gambled at all for exactly 3 months today.

All the best mate--keep strong as you seem to be doing really well.

Stumper

d**n b****h of a day work wise - everything was slow and my head pounding cant shake this virus of what ever it is. Tissue rags all over the place. But no gamble. Thanks Stumper for the reply , also have barred myself from many online joints - all helps.

Not sure if urls are allowed but I started a Twitter where I will loosly punch in what im doing - good or bad. if interested its here twitter.com/blocked_99

sorry for multi posts today ;(

Hi Blocked,

I just wanted to say thanks for stopping by my diary and thank you for your post on blocking software. I think it was a good post, which totally highlights how much time and effort a compulsive gambler will invest in trying to sneak past these blocks.

Im really grateful you didnt describe how you can get past the blocking software - I have heard someone in chat talking about how they also knew how to get round it, and everyone anxiously yelled - please dont tell us!!!! lol.

I think you are putting a lot of effort and work into your recovery blocked, and I can see parallels with myself in where you are at. I think we quit around the same time. I am having trouble coming to terms with the addiction long term, and am struggling to let go of it completely if that makes sense?

I am having occasional slip ups, and sometimes question my commitment to recovery. However, I have made a significant change to my lifestyle, and am much more in control than I was. I guess this is good progress, and recovery is a learning curve that we are both quite near the start of.

I think that what Im trying to say is - maybe we should cut ourselves some slack, whilst of course taking slip ups very seriously, and not demand perfection of ourselves straight away?

I dunno im rambling a bit today, lol, but I continue to wish you well pal,

f x

Glad you are doing ok Blocked....,like you i have removed blocking software from my pc's several times in the past,gamblock ,betfilter,....the only thing we can really rely on not to gamble is ourselves!!and self exclusion.

Seano.

Hi Blocked,

Hope you feel better soon. Thanks for the post too 🙂

Jas x

HI Blocked

hope you are feeling a bit better today.

everyday we dont gamble we get better.

stay strong

micheal42

Hi Blocked

Hope you are feeling better m8.

On the gambling front you are doing great.Keep it up Jeff.

Hi blocked,hope your virus starts to get better soon,the main thing is your doing very well at the moment in your recovery,long may that continue.....,glad that you posted what you did on young Sony's thread....,i think he thought i had frittered more money away over the years than anyone in the history of gambling!!!,although you and i know, many of us have gambled unbelievable amounts over the years.

Seano.

Hi Blocked,

I was just reading your post about blocking software. It works a treat for me as i am not especially interested in computers (they are a means to an end) so I havent got a scooby do how to get around them. But like you say they are a tool only.. nothing is ever full proof. For you self-excluding from accounts indivdually and putting your money out of reach when it matters may prove more useful. And simply spending more time away from the computer any computer.

Thanks for passing through my diary. All the best to you and your on-going recovery.. S.A 🙂

Hi blocked.

Hope you are feeling better mate.

Stumper