My final chance

Mark

You write I hate not being able to control my gambling, that tells me you are not ready to commit to recovery my dear friend, it took me more than twenty years of repeating the same cycle over and over again, finally risking losing my home, family and ultimately my life to bring me to the point of no return.

I craved escape, set about delivering the ultimate escape through suicide falsely believing that it would be a gift to my family all because I refused to accept that for me there's a different way to live, a way to approach life without endlessly gambling away the opportunities that I created.

Without doubt you can control your own gambling by simply not gambling, through accepting that waging a single penny is unmanageable, that from that punt more will follow and ultimately you will lose everything you hold dear.

You can bang on about how you put your family first, pay the bills and so on, but that will change if it hasn't already, gambling addiction is progressive by its nature, it's pursuit of taking your money is relentless. It will continue to leave your life in turmoil until it drains all opportunity.

For me it didn't stop at my finances, I falsified things to secure money from my family, I stole from my boss, eventually I stole to feed my family because I had gambled the essential money.

My wife worked harder,she had to hide things to ensure that our children met even the most basic of needs.

To the outside world everything was hunky dory, I acted like king of the castle and my wife hid the shame.

Why?

Because I didn't want to seek help, because I thought that was for losers...?

fella gambling broke me, I lost all sense of rational, my self respect and eventually the will to live.

Then I found recovery, it was always there, addiction just bullied it's way to the front of my mind.

Recovery takes a great amount of effort, it doesn't provide instant answers to the holes dug through gambling, it doesn't fix the broken hearts of those we hurt through our selfish actions.

What it brings is honesty and the opportunity for change.

I emailed you before, inviting you to join me for a cuppa

That offer still unconditionally stands,I no longer work in Southsea but in a village outside Fareham,I would love to be able to help you to understand the life on offer.

Nothing changes if nothing changes fella.

You are at a fork in the road.

The choice is yours of which path you take.

Abstain and maintain

Duncs stepping forward never back.

mba wrote: Christmas 2015 is my last chance. I hate not being able to control my gambling. Im so unhappy and everyday put on a brave face to my family and friends. I just need a break i need something good to happen to us. I haven't nothing and my family deserve more. Wish i had a time machine to go either forward or back. Christmas eve and i just want to lock myself away. :'-( :'-(

If its your final chance and i say 'if' because that depends what your risking but if that's the case then try everything to stop. Try blockers and tools you wouldn't normally try.

Think outside the box.

Hi MBA,

Thanks for your message,

I am really sorry to see you in the grip still:((

Listen my friend, recovery won't come to you, you have to draw that final line, and want recovery more than anything.

I hope you are feeling better than you did on Xmas Eve, :)))

2016 can be the year you change your life, you just have to make that choice, to let go completely.

Take care my friend and be safe.

Suzanne xxx

Thanks all as always.
Its been a positive 4 days. And a perfect time for a new year a new me.
A great write up there dunc as always. Let me see how i go.

Mba

I think im a bit depressed at the moment. Unnecessary mood swings and no real feelings or emotion towards anything.

Think thats the initial symptoms so hoping i get over them soon

See what you mean about the mood swings. The first post was a positive 4 days and the second your a bit depressed at the moment. Sorry your struggling MBA. From one who understands the struggle better than he wishes he did.

Now im just over my head in debt. No more betting and i'll be back later . Im not checking this regularly

Day 3 its a slow start but this is gonna be slow a very hard few months coming up

Hi friend,these early days will build up again, and you feel stronger again,

Remember nothing changes if nothing changes,

Keep strong, determined and take care.

Suzanne xxx

Hey Suzanne,
Day 33 for me today.
final back on the road to recovery.
Hope your well

Mba x

Hi ya my friend :))) thanks for dropping by with your kind thoughts, and hey it's really great to see you on a steady 33 days,

Well done for getting back on track, as always walking along side with you, been a awhile now lol, but what we have learnt about ourselves is quite amazing, keep making that important right choice

Take care and keep strong.

Suzanne xxx

Thanks suzanne.

Day 36 easter sunday family day not a gambling day.

Mba x

mba wrote: Thanks suzanne. Day 36 easter sunday family day not a gambling day. Mba x

Well done mba, but don't get too complacent. The bar of soap is still in the bath waiting to trip you up. Tri x

Thanks triangle too true too.

Day 48 today so im looking forward to reaching half a century for the second time.

Mba