Hi mate
Just wanted to say your diary has inspired me as like yourself I had a few years away from gambling then got sucked back in.
Well done so far. I am only on Day 6 but looking forward to tomorrow hitting 1 week. Baby steps.
Like yourself I was banned by gamstop but one day towards the end of 2023 I went into a bookies and lost a bit. Rather than just stop I went home and called gamstop and removed my ban as the first time I did it it was only a 6 month ban.
2024 was pretty bad but i still worked and saved a bit as well. Wish I had chucked it the same time as you. From Christmas to last week I went on a really bad run of sports betting and lost around 5 grand I worked hard to save up.
Feel sick. Keep asking myself why I didnt stop after 1 grand, 2 grand or 3 but as compulsive gamblers thats not how our minds work. The more I lost the more I wanted it back.
Eventually enough was enough. Last tuesday after a big loss I got back onto gamstop for 5 years. Now here reading peoples diaries like yourself is giving me encouragement to keep going.
All the best mate and keep going strong.
I thought tonight would be a good night to restart my 2025 diary.
The year started positively. Really positively. A new job and around 3 months of being gamble free. But the wheels seem to come off in April and that transpired to 5 months of on and off gambling which has plunged me into further debt.
Despite that, I remain positive after accumulating 24 days of no gambling.
I have a plan to be debt free in around 9 months time so it’s all about being patient and staying focused on my recovery.
I’ve been watching some great YouTube content creators around the subject of gambling recovery. They’ve helped massively over these last 24 days.
Hoping to continue my recovery one day at a time. There’s no mileage in thinking too far beyond that.
37 days gamble free.
Whilst I'm struggling with some aspects of my life, my gambling urges have been none existent since the last time I posted on here. I am working on 'living in the present' and trying to live my life as simply as possible with as little physical and mental baggage as possible. I have OCD and anxiety and often find things overwhelming.
Money and material things actually mean very little to me. But I often find myself worrying and overthinking things instead of living in the moment. I am trying to limit how often I am on my smartphone as I feel this has possibly contributed to my OCD and anxiety.
I'm proud of these last 37 days and I genuinely believe that there's a chance I may have put my gambling days behind me. Something just feels different this time. I feel like I have finally had enough of feeling despair due to gambling. The sheer thought of placing a bet or playing roulette just sickens me to the core. Especially with how hard I have to work to earn my money.
46 days gamble free
It really is true that it takes around 21 days for those urges to decrease. I can't get over how badly I was desperate to gamble 7 or 8 weeks ago. It's all I could think about. Waking up in the morning and thinking about the next opportunity I could gamble at the bookies. Going to work and thinking about which bookie to stop off at on the drive home.
Fast forward 46 days and I just don't have those urges. I don't even have those thoughts about gambling. I'm aware that they could resurface again some time down the line but for the moment I am enjoying 'feeling normal'.
I am currently seeing gambling for what it really is. 'Any wins are future losses'. There just isn't any point to it at all. If I had won a million pound whilst I was gambling, would I have stopped? Absolutely not. So where is the end goal to it all? There isn't one.
I'm looking forward to saving up money to enjoy more life experiences and to make more memories with loved ones that I can reminisce about.
52 days gamble free
Pleased and proud of myself to have passed the 50 day mark. It's still very early days into my recovery but I'm feeling really positive at the moment. It's a matter of staying patient and taking each day as it comes. Nobody is promised tomorrow so there's no point looking too far ahead.
Tonight I'm going to go for a run and then listen to a podcast before I hit the sack. It's been an extremely tough day at work but I'm looking forward to a week off next week.
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