My first diary (mainly football/sports betting)

I never have a problem with the actual bookmakers shop, it's online I can't seem to help myself, It started off sitting in with a few beers watching skysports having a few bets but it has gradually got worse over the years. Really tried to keep it in check as I know I have an addictive personality, I've had enough of the depression it causes and restless nights sleep with racing thoughts.

Saturday was meant to be a good day, took the boy to the football in the morning then to watch our team in the afternoon, but because I had a bet on that lost which I thought was a deadcert! My mood changed. So on the drive home I was on my phone putting another bet on to try and get my money back meanwhile trying to keep the car on the road(that's when I thought what the hell am I playing at, 6 year old son in car and all I could think about was getting a bet on the Man City game). Lost that bet so then sat in the house till the early hours until I had spent all my money.

Hi Lenny,

Just a note to say you're in the right place now.

Your story sounds not too dissimilar to mine, I was sports betting (horses) but towards the end I started dabbling in football, the big money was horses though but it's hard to win on them.

Also, the part about betting in the car, you can't see it when you are doing it but only when you've started to recover you realise how dangerous it was. However at the time you just can't *** it.

My son told me a few nights ago how he was really pleased I had stopped gambling and a few home truths about it all, things I didn't even realise. I'm glad you've decided to stop because even at 6 your son would be able to pick up on things, and you can protect him from that world now.

Here's to a clean, brighter future for you. Think of all the great things you can buy, or save for, with YOUR money.

Laura.

Lenny

Welcome to the forum,a place where you will find a wealth of help and support and some amazing advice from like minded folk who all by and large share the same end game

To arrest the destruction that is the gambling that wages misery upon their lives.

I believe whilst at it we all wear the same 'gambling goggles' they distort things,they make us believe that we are owed a win,that will are good at it too.

In truth no matter if we win or lose the outcome is often the same

I CANNOT WIN BECAUSE I CANNOT STOP.

bin those goggles fella,life will offer you a choice to make each day.

With that choice you have the chance to live a life with the misery gambling gifts

I wish you well with the choice in front of you.

If that choice is made you actually win,that feeling is one to behold

Recovery is the gift that never stops giving

Keep taking it,enjoy it

Duncs stepping forward never back.

Hi, thanks for the kind words Laura, H-L and Dunc. I've done all betting recently on an iPad an iphone so these blockers are no use for these devices. I previously had my old PC blocked from gambling sites(my wife had the password).

The two betting accounts Ive been using are in my wife's name (not told her this yet!) as I had previously self excluded myself from nearly all sites I had an account, so obviously self exclusion doesn't work for me. I have closed the skybet account that is in my wife's name but w**********l I will need to get her to phone to close it! Since the iPad is the family's and is always accessible I am just going to have keep my wits about me and be strong, I am contemplating changing my phone to a basic one I have with no access to the internet.

I stopped smoking cold turkey nearly two years ago so in my head I feel if I tackle the gambling as I did the smoking then I have a excellent chance, also my wife and stepdaughter smokes so the temptation was always there and the gambling temptation will always be there however much I try to block and ban things, but hopefully like smoking the longer I refrain the easier it will become.

Day 3 today and just a few thoughts of betting and how if my first bet had came in I would have been fine, I wouldn't be here if it did!!

Cheers Lennyd

Your story sounds familiar to mine with the online football bets , would I walk into a bookmakers and part with that money , probably not .. Put numbers on a screen on my iPad and it didn't feel the same , bizarre I know but that's what it felt like , until I checked the bank account and realise them numbers do mean something . The worse thing about the football bets I was having was that they were really poor bets in play, like another goal to be scored or not , BTTS or not . Bets that returned not much but needed big stakes , could pick good results on coupons and so on but the live games I was sucked into did me , especially the Spanish games after I'd lost on Saturday afternoon or on English tea time games . It felt like there only on late to sucker you in after you've had a beer . Sorry for the long winded reply and good luck in your recovery ..

Day 76 bet free

Day 76 losing free

Pk09

Great lenny!!!thats the way,it doesn't Matter how it works for you,if it works ,go for it,..

I Wish you the best!!!

Well done lenny. Keep it going a day at a time. I have gambled for over 20 years and know I can never win because I cannot stop!! As each day goes by you do start to feel a little better, but I know deep inside I will probably end up going to my GA meetings for the rest of my life. I find when I don't go I really miss them, I know they put me in check and it brings it home that this is one of the most baffling illness there is. Try and do as much as you can to beat it and keep busy.

All the best

Jaym

Thanks ruivo and Pk09, no problem Pk09 about the long reply, I am happy I can speak to someone who has/had the same problem as myself. Like you say in the bookies I am always aware on what I am spending but not online, I have never walked into a shop and put 100 on a bet but online yes but I would wake up the next day and think doh! I also feel your pain about Saturday evenings football, I would have my fixed odds on in the afternoon and if I won I could control my betting, put some away and have an interest with some, but if I lost I would proceed to bet on the evening kick off then the Spanish games, then Sundays matches. I detest the feeling that has eventually came with gambling and I've seen the signs of what could happen if I continue so I am stopping before it gets out of control.

Your doing great, well done. How did you find the first few weeks Pk09 as when I stopped I found it hard not to do a fixed odds but look where that got me again. So no fixed odds this time.

Cheers

Lenny

Hi Lenny , like you said its hard not to do a fixed odds , to lose that Saturday afternoon interest you've had every Saturday for as long as you can remember was the toughest bit for me , I also work some Saturdays and me and the lads have always done them so with them continuing and always telling me what they'd done, it sucked me back in many times over the years after I'd tried stopping , but this time I decided if I was stopping it had to include the fixed odds as well , the first few weeks are so tough and if I'm honest it's still tough now , temptation is always there but like you I have young children and that's were I get my strength, if your tempted think of them what that money could get them , be it towards a holiday , football training session , boots etc . I remember my child asking for a magazine in a shop and me saying 4 pound for a magazine , no that's a rip off .. 4 pound ??? That would be an absolute peanuts bet online I wouldn't think twice about , bizarre how my mind works when it comes to money ... Also for me a tough part was trying to watch live football again without betting on it , at first was always thinking I'd have bet on this or I'd bet on that , gradually got easier , also helps I told the wife , every time I'm on my phone or ipad during a game , it's what you doing ? What you looking at.? Not having a bet are you ? A pain and annoying , but also a help . Good luck pal and this site is always awesome to come back to , some very wise words in these diaries . Pk09

Thanks very much for your reply and support Pk09, yes our way of gambling sounds very much the same.

Day 4 today and I needed to check a score this morning as if I was betting I would have had a bet on them, they lost! (I have had a few betting thoughts yesterday and today). Also I have'nt had beer since Saturday and I am working late tonight so I might have one when I get in and this is when I would usually put a couple of bets on. Feeling very strong but I know I need to keep my wits about me, I havent watched any sport all week but I love sport so I need to learn to enjoy watching without betting. I am sure I can do it!

Day 7 today, it Saturday night and I've had a good day. Been to the football with the wee man, we won and I've not had fixed odds and that's the first time for a long time. Had a few beers now and I feel like I need a bet, I'm not going to but f*k I feel like it. Weird!!

well done fella, enjoy life and stay clear of bet and and treat the little fella makes you feel good when your feeling low

Not been on for ages! I was doing great then **k! World Cup starts, everyone at work talking who you betting on blah blah! I ponder for a few days then bang! I place a few bets on teams to win thinking it's just an interest. Well that's me down a few hundred quid now through betting on single matches! What a fool I am and gutted I started again as I was doing and feeling great.

The dark clouds are well and truly hanging over my head tonight. I START AGAIN