Well by titling it honest, maybe I will be honest, also the fact that it is anonymous helps.
One thought before I start, how I wish this incorporated a spellchecker, so apologies in advance for spelling errors. but that is not the point here, an honest diary is!
So to begin:
Day 1.
I feel lower than hell today! Have gambled today, 8 bets in total, ALL of them lost! Making a losing run of 15 bets, 'WTH! how can 15 bets in a row lose?' I think to myself. All sports bets (football to be precise) all favourites, yes I really did just bet on 15 favourites and not one had the courtesy to win!
Without bogging myself down with the probabilities I will try to rationalise this as 'bets carry no memory' and I know I have had losing streaks of 20+ bets in a row not coming in. Back briefly to probabilities; I would imagine the odds would be thousands to one of this occuring, but it does, more frequently than should! Am I cursed then? Is there some kind of quantum observer entanglement demons at work here? Crazy thoughts I know, but real thoughts to me as I search in desperation for some kind of answer.
I am in a huge flipping mess now financially! Already heavily in debt and with a debt managment plan just started up, I really need to focus on making this payment as well as the rest of the household bills, but.... I had £600 in my wallet a few days ago and £300 in my bank account, I had enough to pay my bills and to live a little (nothing extravagant, but enough for coffees and cake etc). Now I have just £100 in my wallett and about £18 in my bank!
I will get a payment on Monday and so I'm hoping no direct debits will come out before, I could check but I am burying my head in the sand.
I am self employed, and should have been working each day this last two weeks, however I have worked only 3 days in my quest to get rich from gambling. Losing over £800 in september alone! WTH!
Gambling really has ruined me, I have gambled a long time, and despite some highs, have always lost
Hi Salamander,
Welcome to the recovery diaries!
As you know, you cannot make money by gambling. It won't provide you with an income. It is a way to spend money.
You say that you have always lost. This is a difficult feeling to be stuck with. And yet, you can make changes to the way it's going for you. It won't be easy and it might not be fast, but you can come out well and feel good about yourself again. That's when you win.
Keep posting in the recovery diaries, Salamander. You can recover from this and we are all here to support you.
Kind wishes
Gabriele
I too thought I could make a living from gambling, but we are kidding ourselves if we believe this.
Gambling not only takes our money, it also takes up our time, time that could be used far more productivly.
I've not gambled for just over a month now.......Everything is better without gambling in your life......Everything!
I wish you well Salamander and hope that you reclaim the life that was yours...The life you deserve!
Let the money go. Try to ignore thinking you are due a big win. Never happens in my experience.
Forum Admin wrote:
Hi Salamander,
Welcome to the recovery diaries!
As you know, you cannot make money by gambling. It won't provide you with an income. It is a way to spend money.
You say that you have always lost. This is a difficult feeling to be stuck with. And yet, you can make changes to the way it's going for you. It won't be easy and it might not be fast, but you can come out well and feel good about yourself again. That's when you win.
Keep posting in the recovery diaries, Salamander. You can recover from this and we are all here to support you.
Kind wishes
Gabriele
Even the gambling industry is trying to describe themselves as 'entertainment'. ^&^$$$$^&&^$
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