I am now 11 days gamble free. Not long I know but I am simply taking each day at a time now,ensuring I resist any urges to gamble.
I've been gambling ever since I won £2 in 2ps on a fruit machine when I was about 10. I seem to remember this moment pretty vividly still so see it as a big trigger to what lay ahead.
Years of trips to the seaside playing in amusements followed,then came college and uni where fruit machines were my poison. It was in my early/mid twenties that I started with the bigger sums online and in the bookies playing the fobts.
I'm now 33 and have been helped out with my debts of 18k by my parents,I am paying them back as much as I can each month and intend to pay it all back someday. There was one final sting in the tail which saw me rack up a further 10k of debt once I'd been helped out,a huge wake up call.
I earn good money around 1k a week and so if I can actually beat this addiction I stand a good chance of paying things off pretty quickly. The problem I've always had has been the more I've earnt,the more I've gambled.It's been a painful time. I have a fiancee and 2 gorgeous girls and I need to get a grip of whats been going on,take responsibility and change our lives for the better.
Here goes.
Rightchoice
Fella again welcome.
The relationship with the size of the stakes gambled relate to the funds available, over twenty years my own stakes grew as my salary did.
The money is the fuel to feed addiction, just a by product.
Why you gamble is the issue
For easy money? Like the feeling of being rich at ten, all those coins
It was the same for me, the attraction of the flashing lights, the feeling of winning.
That progressed to the fobt my own nemesis, my addiction grew as did the stakes.
Take all the help out there, embrace recovery, it is a truly compelling act.
You actually win without staking a single penny.
Most of all Enjoy it, enjoy the winning without gambling.
You have a partner and two daughters, make those your focus.
As for repaying your debt, do it in a fashion that won't leave you short for funds for living, addiction loves that, it ceases the opportunity to tell you that you can gamble your way into the black.
We both know that the outcome is just further debt.
I look forward to reading your progress.
Abstain and maintain
Duncs stepping forward never back.
Hi Duncs,
Thanks for the post. I,like many,have read your diary and other posts with admiration and have enormous respect for the way you have managed,through sustained abstinence,to live your life the way it should be and keep the gambling demons at bay. I truly I hope this can be me one day.
For now, I must just focus a day at a time and keep trying to rack up the gamble free days as it seems from what I've read,the longer we go without gambling and managing to resist the urges,the easier it gets. It's going to be a long bumpy road but I think this time I am ready. For 2 weeks now I have had money in my account (well overdraft money,but it's still available to me) and have managed to beat the urges. Only last week I had an hour and a half to kill before a haircut. Now usually I would be in the bookies round the corner on the fobts trying to win my haircut money and a little extra but this time I managed to stay calm,process my thoughts,and simply bought a sandwich and Sat eating it in my van,whilst reading this site on my phone.
Duncs you are so right about the money being a side issue. My life is pretty stressful at times with family life and work so I often find my biggest gambling binges come when I'm most stressed. It is absolutely pointless me gambling as I know that even if I won enough to pay all my debts I would give it all back eventually anyway,I've been there and done that just last year!
The time has come to enjoy life,if I find myself at a loose end with nothing to do I must just realise that sitting and doing nothing is way better than depositing endless amounts of my hard earned money into a gambling account.
These bookmakers have had enough of my money,here's to a brighter future.
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