My life with addiction

There's no one-size-fits-all reason for becoming addicted. But in particular with gambling, it seems that there can be a wish for something for nothing, a windfall, a free lunch. There ain't no such thing as a free lunch. Somewhere along the line, someone paid for it.

There was a story about two men, one wealthy, one poor. The wealthy man had a bad stomach ulcer in the days before modern medicine and could only eat plain crackers and drink milk. The poor man, who was fit and healthy, envied the wealthy man his wealth. "Fool!", said the wealthy man. "The ulcer and the wealth go together."

I've said this elsewhere but the secret of happiness is being happy with what you have.

Enough thoughts, I'll leave future thinking to you.

BW,

CW

I'm sorry but I don't agree. I don't think there is really a something for nothing feeling. I think that might be true for a gambler but a compulsive gambler is way beyond that basic level of thought. A compulsive gambler is acting out an addiciton... winning losing or drawing is not the aim that is just the result. Getting a fix is the aim. No compulsive gambler has ever had a free lunch and I can tell you that from personal experience. From my own perspective I feel you've got that totally wrong.

Hi, Change...and Dan

Fair enough, it's just my opinion. But to clarify, I was referring to the early non compulsive bets, the early wins that end up dragging many in. If they're not based on seeking something for nothing, then why bother? And you do indeed pay dearly for that long gone free lunch once the betting becomes compulsive.

As I said, it's only my opinion.

BW,

CW

CW,

I think that the scenario you describe is exactly what differentiates compulsive gamblers. The people who make the early non compulsive bets don't go on to become addicted. It's only those of us who have the pain/lack of connection/lack of purpose/hurt/trauma that Dan talks about that go on to become addicted. In gambling (or any other addiction) we find a way to zone out and numb ourselves. It's not that we have an addictive personality...we just have underlying issues (which we may not realise or recognise) that compulsive gambling serves a purpose for. That's why there's a lot of folks who can gamble and stop and it really is just a bit of fun. I don't think CGs are sucked in by those early bets, it's more that we find something that works to alleviate our issues (albeit temporarily) and that drives us to keep going back for more.

That's my experience and opinion anyway.

LifeBegins x

Gambling addiction has nothing to do with money. I understand that it can be preferable to both the addict & those affected by their actions to put a comfortable reasonal behind it. It is easier emotionally for me to think I have been stupid rather than perceive myself as weak. Addiction is addiction is addiction, it matters not what your choice of drug is. Do yo know how many people who take heroin get addicted to it. About the same as the amount of people who gamble who become CGs. Do you knowhow many people who drink get addicted to it, about the same amount as people who gamble become CGs. Do yo know how many people who eat, shop, screw get addicted to it about... you get the gist. Gambling Addiction isn't a stand out addiction that is perpetuated by greed. It is driven by emotion as all addictions are. Either trying to manufacture ones your not getting in your day to day life or trying to stop the ones you feel about yourself. Here is GAs stance on it. We at Gamblers Anonymous believe our gambling problem is an emotional illness, progressive in nature, which no amount of willpower can stop or control. We have facts to support this belief. We believed, at one time or another, that all of our problems could be solved with a big win. Some, even after making a big win found themselves in worse trouble within a short period of time. We continued to gamble. We found we risked loss of family, friends, security and jobs. We still continued to gamble. We gambled to the point where it resulted in imprisonment, insanity or attempted suicide. We still continued to gamble and were unable to stop. We fell victim toa belief that if only our financial problems could be solved, we would be able to stop gambling or even be able to gamble like normal people. Many times we swore we would not gamble again believing we had the willpower to stop gambling. We believed a lie. We believed we had the power to stop or control our gambling. Our inability to honestly look at our gambling problem enabled us to continue gambling. In spite ofall of the evidence from our past, we still denied the truth. Taken from Step 1

Just wanted to say that this is a really interesting debate. re reading CWs posts a couple of times I get where she is coming from but I think that it is an outside in view and that cuts right to the crux of the reason why non CGs cannot understand why CGs act as they do. An outsider just views this as a monetary issue. It really isn't. It is much more complex... and to add to that most CGs can't even understand why they act as they do. It has no reason. It is totally irrational behaviour but it is uncontrollable when you're in that bad place.

Hi there, just to add to the debate , for me personally , I gambled because I enjoyed it pure and simple ! Just as with smoking , it gave me pleasure , it gave me a distaction from life , 5 min's to myself , an escape if you like . I gave the smoking up about 20 years ago, why? because it was expensive to keep doing and detremental to my health , which is the same reason I gave up gambling and to be honest if the health and the money were not an issue I would proberbly be still doing both ?.

I don't see the difference in being addicted to smoking or to gambling , the smoking became heavier as did my gambling , so its then down to choice as to continue the way you are , reduce it or stop completely .

The symptoms of the condition maybe slightly different , I didn't get angry when I smoked but I wouldn't get cancer from gambling, I knew both affected me in some way but ultimately didn't give up either until I was ready .

I think you can make any argument you want but however compulsive we are in whatever we do , we have a choice , do it or don't do it ! then if and when your ready , and thats the key point , stop !!.

I have watched my son struggle with this for a long time. I think that his addiction could have been anything i.e. alcohol,drugs etc. I think his feelings of unworthiness (sp?) , low self-esteem etc were lying in wait. Lo and behold on his 18th birthday his brother takes him to the casino and voila something goes off in his brain... the gambling subconciously provides some relief to him and thus a gambling addiction was born. I agree it's not about the money.He won $9000 very early on and it would easily have cleared his then debt but this was spent within a week. For my son I think it started off innocently as with 95% of the people who gamble but I often think if it wasn't gambling I'm pretty sure it would have been another addiction. Again just my opinion.

Hi, Dan and all,

Ok, I accept that I don't get it and can't because I'm not a CG. I was just saying how I see it.

There's nothing weak about CGs (or any other addicts) who are achieving long term recovery.

BW,

CW

CW, Cathy, Change, Alan and Half Life. Aren't opinions great & I enjoyed reading them all. Wouldn't it be wonderful if we saw more of it on this site. Real issues discussed by the people affected by them. Maybe just maybe we could all gain some connection, empathy & understanding on how we all of us on both sides of the fence can move forward in our recoveries x

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Whole heartedly agree - really good to see different opinions provoking thought and discussion.

I have pointed a couple of people in the direction of two fantastic TED talks that had almost slipped my mind until it got jogged by something. They really are how I believe addiction should be viewed and then the most powerful two recovery tools are discussed. Vulnerability & connection. Please take a look.at Johaan Hari & Brene Browns power of vulnerability talk.

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Different thoughts , feeling's and perspectives and yet we all have a mutual bond !

Best wishes Alan

I can attest to the value of the two TED talks. I would also like to recommend reading Bonnie Ware's 5 Regrets Of The Dying. It's not about addiction but about how we live life, and is good food for thought.

LIfeBegins x

Hi Dan , Thank you for popping bye and a great answer as to the thing's that have been going around in my head of late .

As I said earlier , I really do get much more back than I feel I give through trying to give advice to others., obviously I'm no expert , far from it and everything I say is just my take on things , I hope it helps some but as I understand , certain folk stick around and some choose not to do that , but bye putting the effort into the recovery of others I'm still feeling benefit myself .

I thank you for your time Dan , have a great day my friend !