My life with addiction

Great read that Dan, makes a lot of sense.

Thanks

Damo

I did say last night it was a loaded question.

I can't see a reason for any moderation.

Agree on the people over 2 years I don't think they have gone back gambling although I'm sure some might have but I think the majority have just moved on.

Like you say here does a great job early on in helping us to abstain and get back on our feet.

Will I still be here on 5 years time? if I can keep going as I am I doubt it, but I will be greatful for the help and support I received from here it will have done its job, I will have passed on the knowledge others before me have passed onto me.

The Gamcare circle of life.

KTF

Great post Dan

Always appreciate the message your getting across and have found, find, your posts inspiring.

You clearly dedicate a lot of yourself to helping others through chairing GA and on here.

Props to you

Louis

What a f*****g fantastic post. Bought a watering to my eyes as I sit in the smoking area at work ( thank f**k for safety glasses ).

More understanding and actions required on my part.....

Swearing unnecessary, my way of emphasising.....

Thanks for sharing the point about two years..."The corrupted thinking of an addict takes on average 2 years to repair itself according to most experts". That gives me far more hope for the future than "day at a time" which I somehow find a bit depressing.

I saw your note to Change about post # 264 so I went back to read it. Whilst there I also re-read a few of your other posts...#257 was interesting having just read Louis post about acceptance. # 261 was good for me to read again as it feels very relevant. I'd read it at the time, but had forgotten it. Perhaps it's something you could repost another time for newcomers to read?

LB x

Yes a loaded question and one I try and deal with compassion. Look i was in their footsteps so many times (and could be again) so i accept they are where they are and work on myself. Interestingly i'm over that 2 year time and I'm still around. I read what LB says about the day at a time being depressing and I accept that can be the case if I don't also work on making the TODAY as fabulous as I can.

Will I be around in 2 more years time? Truth is I don't know and i'm not looking that far ahead. The here and now is what matters today. Tri

From my side of the street it makes total sense. I have heard it referred to as the the "gambler's fog". Years of corrupted thinking do not disappear over night.

Kudos to all on here who keep trying ODAAT!

I wasn't meaning to suggest that ODAAT isn't helpful or relevant just that it doesn't really do it for me. I can do "one day at a time", but if I don't do anything to change the years of corrupted thinking then I'll just be a few years down the line gamble free but with the same internal dialogue. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing, as I won't have gambled, but it isn't what I'm aiming for. And when I say I find it depressing it's because it implies (to me) that this is so insurmountable, so awful, so big that it can't be looked at in it's entirety. That it has to be broken down into smaller bits....which is ok, I get that and I understand that and I know for the vast majority of people that's useful and helpful. I'm just saying that for me, where I am right now, I'm not finding that it helps. Maybe I'm missing the point?! LB x

Coming in loud and clear brother, and, Thank You! For today, and all the times I couldn't say it. -joanxx

Now that's how to post without someone wanting to throw sh17 bricks @ ya 🙂

Hi Dan , bit late to the party as I've just finished work but thanks for the drop bye , when you leave something on my diary I still slowly peel the page back thinking " Oh bug,ger what have I done now " but obviously nothing too bad at the mo , so even I don't have a good reason to throw a shi,t brick at ya ! :)).

With ref to my kids and the day out , I think your prob right but you may be way off if you think I'm getting any sort of village , best I could hope for is a skip ? .

Lovely post by the way , take care fella and all the best !

Heyyyy brother! Ya see that ball still flying? Yup..at least not a s*it brick this time ;-))))))))..i do learn how to behave lol

Thanks for the post and am greatful for your thoughts..makes me look at myself (bahhh...again lol) but every time i do so now...i have a huge grin planted on this mug!

I shall call it - progress 😉

Take care and spk to you soon

S x

deano: wrote: A great post and explanation Dan. I often think to myself why does Dan keep coming to chat to be bombarded with questions. Obviously like me when I joined I didn't like the answer so we challenged everything that was said. It's a hard pill to swallow when you first come here. But now I sit down and to be honest I chuckle when I see the same questions I threw out you. Obviously your answer hasn't changed except now I agree with it. It's like the film karate kid He can't understand what relevance painting the fence has to do with his training. Or the constant wax on wax off treatment. When he thought he was being harsh he was actually perfecting his fight. Dan gamcare's very own Mr myagi lol

Wax on, wax off. 🙂

Keep being the tortoise Dan. Tri

Hi Dan,

Thanks for your post. Should of just text saying I'm full of bull.
I guess we got lost in translation there somewhere. I fully understand and respect your view. You are great example of making things right, slow and continously.
I think what i babbled on about is "self punishment". We all get that and i am trying to break that cycle and look at the bigger picture instead. If i sounded like I'm running to the first open bookies this morning, i deeply apologise..i am not. Have no intention whatsoever and i can only do my best for today.
The problem with me is i never put myself first. I try to please others and to be honest i miss a lot of points with my inner self during that process. I'm not looking for a pat on the back or "well done you, proud of you"..if i don't feel that myself, these are wasted words.
Me saying AA/GA is strict maybe was interpretted wrongly. As you say - it's individual choice and nobody pushes you to do one thing or another...I'm reverting back on being self critical..i don't think it's a self pitty. I know myself and i know what I'm capable of. I just want to be kinder to myself.
I have been here for 3 years. A lot has changed and i accept that. I think you're right in saying i don't want recovery enough. Maybe i don't. It is hard job for sure but i still think I'm looking in the wrong places. I have tried a lot of approaches which works for a while, unfortunately they don't tick for me long term. Am i gonna beat myself over it now? No...for the first time i won't.
Yes, i went out yesterday with good intentions of getting a candyfloss, a skip down the beach, nice dinner and peaceful time. Yes, it was my poor choice made of going to the arcade. ...no, it didn't escalate on online slots or me getting drunk...just a lil mayhem in this head but i managed to calm it down.."be kind to yourself"..that's what kept me going.
I know that nobody/nothing will save me from these addictions. It is individual journey and we are responsible for our choices...i get that.
I also understand that spiritual awakening starts from within. Am i there yet? I don't know, but i truly don't want to make it too complicated for myself. It only puts unnecessary pressure on. I am here, am working, sleeping, living my not so exciting days and moving on.
I aknowledge my progress and i am happy with it ☺...never aimed for perfection and will never get there. I know that and you know what - it's is perfectly OK in my lil world. I take what i have now, as long as i don't revert my old ways..

I shall let you know in a postcard if i do 😉

Thanks for the support and thank you for understanding!

S x

Hi Dan

Thank you for a very useful and helpful post. Not sure if anyone said to me step 1 was going to be easy but I sure as hell said it to myself.

Already thinking about the first question and the thing that unmanagability means to me is denial. I think its a good first question in that sequence and one I will return too when thinking and writing down any of the other questions.

One of the people I really look upto in a meeting I attend swears by writing things down. He did an exercise where he wrote down all the things he did while gambling. Anytime he felt like gambling he would go to his bed side draw and pull out the envelope with the notes he wrote. One of them he shared and it was a mix of comedy and horror. Surpised sometimes at the things I laugh at in a meeting. Its not all po faced is it.

Thanks again,

Rob