My long journey

hi luckygirl im on day 60 of not gambling, I m pleased with myself its been 2 months last time I managed for 6months and 10 days. I last gambled on 27th December I go to gamblers anonymous meetings to help myself as well every Tuesday night. im not working at the moment im off sick from work been off sick for a year now all I want to do is get back to work.

Day 8! Yes, I have been gamble free for a whole week.

This may seem small to some peoole but to me this means so much. I have not felt down because I haven't lost any money. So my mood is much better.

I am taking one day at a time and have made a promise to myself that if I get start to have any negative feelings I am going to come straight on to this site.

Onwards and upwards,

LG

Day 10, double figures!!

Going well today but I have been at work. Sunday is going to be a problem day as I am going to be left on my own. I need to start thinking of ways to occupy myself. I can then divert myself away from causing any problems.

Onwards and upwards

LG

Hey LG

Well done on getting to 10 days. It does mean a lot when you gamble for years nearly every day- 1 day is an achievement nevermind 10! So good for you and dont worry to much about Sunday. If the urges come just come on here and write down how you are feeling. Its amazing how quickly the urge goes then.

Also, I spent last night looking through some u tube videos of gambling lectures and CG stories. It can help and they are very good as a lot of it you will find similarities with.

Anyway congrats again on day 10 and dont forget to check in over on the challenge thread!

Linda xx

Day 11

Thanks linda for your ongoing support it really is appreciated. When reading other peoples diaries it makes you realise that you are not alone in this journey.

You can really take inspiration from the people who have abstained from gambling for some while their advice is invaluable to the newer members.

I am off to work today so should be fine until I get home.

Onwards and upwards

LG

Morning LG

That's brilliant that you're into double figures Mrs - you are getting to the point that you've racked up that many days that you don't want to go back to zero again - it's a cycle of wanting to and not wanting to - but when you put your head in your pillow having not, then that's so much more a fulfilling experience than the thrill of that one moment......

Don't forget to check in on the 2014 challenge thread and register your days and stuff - you're part of the team Mrs - get it done!!

Stay strong and a couple of weeks is just around the corner!!!

Mr Brightside

Day 15

Thank you for your support Mr B, it really makes a difference when you feel so alone in this journey.

Well I have made the two week mark so that something to be pleased about. I have a day off today so this will make today very difficult for me. My mindset seems very strong but I am very aware that sometimes I seem to make a last minute decision which will destroy my recovery. A few weeks ago I thought I could go to bingo without going on the machines, how wrong was I...

So I need to think about what I am going to do to keep busy between 12 and 2 (starting times) once I get past 2 I will be ok again. I feel anxious about today as I so want this recovery and some may say that if I want it just don't go. But as most people on here will understand for a CG it is not as easy as this.

I know I can do this and I want to do this!!

LG

So I decided that I would meet up with a friend, so I text her to see if she was available and arranged to meet her at 1.

Spent about an hour with her which was great, previously I would be far too busy at bingo to do this. It made me realise that there is a real life out there and that I had spent far too much time in bingo halls.

So onwards and upwards

LG

Day 16

Hello diary

I was really proud of myself yesterday, I managed to avoid problems before I started to think maybe one visit won't hurt...

I really wanted to join the chat room last night but don't seem to have the necessary flash player. Not sure how to get this I followed the link on the chat but not sure if I have to pay for this.

Anyway back to work today so hopefully it will be a better day!

Onwards and upwards

LG

Hi LG

Well done on 16 days! I know what you mean about going to bingo without those machines! I must have said it to myself a million times over the years! all it would take was a wee win at the bingo and I would be out in the intervals flat out! Sometimes I would stick a "tenner" in before bingo and before I knew it half hour later and 200 quid gone and I couldnt even buy my books! Crazy! I have stopped thinking about it so much now but you are right there are days when boredom sets in and its all you think about so best thing is to do something else till it wears off- which it always does!

Keep Strong!

Linda

Your completely right about the amount you stick in the machines before bingo and then realise you haven't got enough for your bingo books. So you end up going to the cash machine again and getting more money out!

In 2006 I did the online bingo and slots and spent so much money on them in 7 weeks racked up a large debt which took all my wages for a year to pay off. I have never visited a online site since as I know how dangerous they are. I learnt my lesson very quickly but don't seem to have learnt my lesson with the bingo hall and machines there. I need to realise they are all the same.

Anyway I am still gamble free and spoke to my husband tonight about me not going to bingo and he seems pleased that it may have finally sank in for me that this is the way forward for me.

He knew about 2006 episode and was very supportive and I think he was just waiting for me to address the issue with the bingo hall.

We spoke about a holiday next year so I told him I would treat him so now I have to keep gamble free to pay for it. Sometimes I need targets like that to keep me on track so I have gone and done it now lol!

Onwards and upwards

LG

Finally I have managed to borrow my sons laptop so I am hoping I will be able to get into the chat room tonight and say hello to everybody. I only have a little tablet and it is so difficult to write anything on it and when it does it seems to lose it in the system. (Well thats my excuse anyway) I think it may have something to do with me!!

Things are looking a lot better for me and hopefully they will continue.

So onwards and upwards for me.

Today I will not gamble.

LG

Day 23

The past few days have been really hard for me. On Monday I went to do a food shop in the morning before I started work in the afternoon, well as I was coming home from shopping I had what I can only describe as a wave of gambling thoughts. It was like a conversation with myself and someone else it started with " why don't you just pop into bingo and have a go on the machine", no I haven't got any money on me. "You have your card just take some money out". Finally I won this conversation.

This really made me aware that you can be going on in your day fine but something like driving past the bingo hall put my recovery in such danger! It has completely taken all my confidence away.

I am really concerned today I have a day off with nothing to do. I know this is going to be a really hard day for me to get through.

So I am going the gym this morning but I need to find something to do this afternoon.

LG

Day 30

So reading my previous post I really struggled through the day but I managed to get through it. This was the first time I really wanted to gamble since starting this journey but knew I could not fall at the first hurdle!

Well forward a few more days and life is good I have now done 1month without gambling and I am so chuffed with myself.

I have got a couple of days off now so I know I have to be on my guard.

Onwards and upwards.

LG

Day 31

Today I have been shopping and I treated myself to a new bag and purse. I spent quite a bit of money on these but I thought it was about time that I spent some of my hard earnt money on myself and not put it in a machine!

So feeling good and realising that I would be able to have many more nice things as long as I stay on this long and winding road!

Keeping strong

LG