My New diary

Still going ok - 20 days and counting

Feeling good today. 29 days gamble free. Still happily ticking and pleased to have put an element of control into my life once again. Doing normal things and realising that you don’t need to gamble to escape situations and that voids can be filled by healthy and worthwild things.

Still going strong. This is a really good period for me now. No urges and not even thinking about gambling. It is a great feeling when you get to this stage as it is almost normal and when I was in deep I couldn’t contemplate not having a bet. I’ve been before though and lapsed so I will keep writing even if nobody is reading it as the odd message on here keeps my positivity going.

Now 2 months + totally gamble free. A good feeling now as there were times where I was struggling to get through the cycle and see a solution. Acceptance of the underlying issues is the key and i’m in a good place. I’ll keep posting as I hopefully continue to tick off. My target is monthly and let’s see if I can continue to tick them off. I’ve been here three times before and relapsed so I need to stay focused.

I’m going to keep updating and now hitting 4 months which is the most I have ever done. I’ll keep focused and I am much happier with the normality it brings!

After 6 months gamble free I broke this weekend and have lost 2.2k in 48 hours. Stupid sports betting again. Time to start again.

I’ve been going for a month now. Not in a positive way though as been gambling heavily and lost around £3k over the month. Time to stop again as I need to close my cc that I have been gambling on. I just can’t stop this time trying to win back losses which is the worst thing I can do. I’ve been uet many times before with lapses around the 6 month mark. What is missing from my life to want to constantly gamble? The troubles of a CG.

So in total in this laspe i’ve lost just under 10k in 6 weeks. Today alone £2k in 2 hours.

Hello ND1,

It is very difficult to escape the downward spiral once you're in the mindset of recovering your losses. It would be helpful for you to put any chance of gambling out of reach - self-excluding, using the Gamstop online self-exclusion, limiting or removing credit cards, maybe filling your time with something that doesn't leave an opportunity to gamble.

I have been in your position many times (though not recently). Sometimes I've managed to walk away, but the damage mentally is shattering once the realisation sets in. However, it's better than continuing to gamble. Sure, occasionally we win some of it back, but it won't quell the hunger, rather, it'll just make it worse. If you can, step back for a bit - one day at a time, one hour if need be - and hopefully the rational part of you wil slowly resurface. Good luck.

Apologies for my previous post, btw, which this one is replacing. I misread your name and replied to a different person.

Mm

I’ve finally regained an element of control. First weekend in 6 weeks where I haven’t gambled. Need to get the normality back.

So still gambling. In this two month period i’m at £12k loss. Need to regain control and it is now at the stage where I am expecting to loss and don’t even react. Bad place to be. Just need to take away my ability to gamble.

3 days without gambling and over a weekend too. Some people might think this is no achievement but to me it is huge at the moment given how I have been.

Lad go on gamstop and ban yourself. i did for 5 years not had a bet since 1st june. just waiting for the £2.00 cap in the bookies and no tempation anymore. you can ban yourself from the bookies but only ones you can tell the call centre. i went from 20k to -6k with online betting it really gets you. though the 20k was a jackpot on doa. i always wonder what i could have done with that money.

Dont work to pay the websites or the bookies Work to have a good life and happy memories.

best of luck or should i say hopefully karma will come your way sometime soon.

I’m in a bad spiral and now £12k down in 2 months after being clean for 6 months +. I’ve closed many sites and self excluded but keep opening new ones that have appeared on line. I wanted to pay off my cc that I gamble on and did that but got tempted back lost all sense of what I am betting expecting to lose so added 4K in a week. I can’t seem to let go of it at the moment. I can’t tell anyone as it would destroy them so got to deal with it myself. There have been many occasion where I had significant winnings and tried to withdrawal but various sites delayed payment by 5 days and that meant I could still cancel the withdrawal and lose everything again which is what us CG’s do. You never win and just delay losing a little further!

I’m struggling right now with a sense of reality no sleep and worrying about things constantly. Tight to forget the past and move on positively. Day 1 the battle begins again.

I’m just looked back at my first post 3 years ago - almost the same message as I just wrote. 3 years of lying to myself - I’ve always acknowledged my addition but still have left myself ways to gamble with the funds to do it.