My Recovery Diary

Hi BenC

The motivation will return you are doing great.

Michael

Ihaven't been on here for a wile but felt the need to document my recovery to hopefully inspire / help others who are maybe justing staring the road to recovery. I am now on Day 72 gamble free. Yes I have had thoughts about gambling but since my one on ones I have started to undertand some of the root causes as to why I was gambling and have been able to start to deal with them which has helped me massively. I really would suggest making that step to anyone who is unsure. it was really difficult at the start but each week gets easier and i feel less and less likey to relapse. anyway post over. stay strong people there is 100% light at the end of everyones tunnel with a bit of dedication and willingness to recover

DAY 86

so I am still gamble free although I have had some set backs with my health which have been getting me down and I have had thoughts about gambling again. I will remain strong but I am concerned that havigcome so ar that I culd at any minute relapse.

I must remember how bad i felt at my worst as that was what drove me to seek help.

I will stay strong! I have to stay stong!

Hey Ben

well done on 86 days! amazing. You should be really proud of your achievement. Recovery is not an easy road is it, full of ups and downs, but it sounds like you have done great. I wish you well for the future and for continued success.

stay strong and gamble free.

Stu

Ben.

Fella well done for your continued abstinence, I myself have enjured some health issues since i started recovery.

With a mind free of the stress and anxiety that gambling clouds the mind with you can use the time to ensure you can look after yourself.

The one certainty is gambling won't cure anything!!

Keep up the good work.

Duncs stepping forward never back.

thanks for the support guys.

I honestly would not have got this far without the forum. it was the first time i realised i was not alone and that there were lots of other people going through a very similar struggle.

It is now dy 91 and i have no been able to talk to al ofmy family about my adiction as i feel i am stating to get some real control over it. i dont want to get complacent but i do also realise how far i have come. this is the first month i do not have any money worries for many months which is such a stress relief and i can actually treat my gf to something nice to say thanks forher sticking wih me ad being so supportive.

i am going to try to post on as many people's diraries as possible to give back what i have taen from the forum as i think it was vital for me to hear from people who made recovery seem achievable when it felf sooooo far away

Thanks for taking the time to post on my diary, counceling Is something I must consider, frightening though.

How many sessions have you done?

Does it give you an insight into why you gamble ?

Thanks again for the support.

Hope your health improves.

Be proud of what you are achieving.

Ben,

Just wanted to drop in and say well done mate. 3 months off gambling is no mean feat - even better than that is the fact you really seem to be taking control of this thing. As you say, complacency will always exist within us CGs... but I find in lots of respects it's a virtuous circle - i.e. the more you invest in recovery / the more you assume responsibility for your actions & their repercussions, the less likely you are to regress.

Top work - keep it up.

D123

Hi Ben, well done on 3 months amazing stuff. Thanks for for your support on my diary. We are in this for the long run, I know toda is only day 1 but I am determind this time! Have asked netline for one counselling which will be taking place soon. Hopefully soon I will be like you and posting after 3 months bet free.

Keep gong mate!

Martin 🙂

cheers for the support guys really appreciate it.

Defeated i have now done 9 sessions spread over about a 12 week period and have 3 more to do before it is complete.

it is a really daunting experience but I can't express how useful it has been for me personally. essentially it has unearthed a lot of stuff that I hadn't really dealt with and was using gambling to act as suppressant like any other drug.

that may not be the case with you but the counseillors are very good at helping you get to the bottom of what it is exactly that is contributing to your compulsion to gamble.

Hope all goes well

DAT 123

numerically satisfying milestone.

sun is shining, health is not great but gambling is one area of my life which is no longer controlling me. whopeeeeeeeeee

i been off the forum for quite a while. DAY 165 now which feels really great to write down however the last week has been really tough and I have had a huge amount of urges to gamble again.

i think the main reason being that i have now finished my 12 weeks of one on one counseilling and so it is a bit less prominent in my mind. also i think it is a case of reaching the point i have reached before where it has been long enough that your brain tricks you in to forgetting how awful it all was when you were at rock bottom.

i had a strong urge to go to the casino to play live cash poker and walked within 50m of the place. and i also had an urge to start an online account (although i have barred myself from nearly all) but i thankfully have stayed strong, just.

i think that i am going to try to be more disciplined in using the site more often to post and read other diaries to keep my recovery heading in the right direction.

i already feel stronger for writing this out now so i will try to make it a weekly thing from here on in.

over and out

Hi Ben

Just want to say well done for abstaining for so long but most of all well done for not giving in to the urge! That took a lot of strength and hold onto how your life has changed for the better since you stopped gambling. I fell into the trap of thinking I was okay after abstaining for a good period of time to just have a little flutter and surely it wouldn't hurt.. Then wham I was back to gambling consuming my life, my time and my money. Keep strong Ben you can get through this!!

Take care

Forwards not back

Jewels

Thanks for the post Jewels yeah I completely agree. It is just so messed up to think i am considering going back down that route after all the hurt it caused to everyone. I know that one bet or one session will mean back to Day 1 and back to potentially a life of hell again. Must stay strong. Must stay strong!!

Day 196

feeling good. started jogging in the mornings which is helping clear the mind and giving me a passion for getting in shape again.

strongly considering quitting smoking now too which is one of the parts of my life I am not really happy with at the moment.

wish me luck!