My recovery diary (JENILEE)

I want him to get the point that he made me angry but I don't want this to turn into an all out war I just want him to consider my point and understand why am angry. Well the text is sent now, LOL so let's hope it makes that point

Just adding a post to let everyone know my boyfriend texted me back that he saw my point and I'll call me later tonight. He and I have this thing that we agreed on communicating better that I would just say something once and I repeat myself over and over when I'm mad at him and he would acknowledge that he saw my point would at least consider my point and then we will try to let it go and see if things just got better so that's all we are doing so I will let it go when he calls I will not bring it up I've let go of my anger and he said now it's a dc is why I am frustrated from my text. I am feeling a little better today from the whole gambling binge on Monday

How to tell my fellow posters, if anybody is reading this, I started to drive to the casino to chase my losses from Monday and I got very close to the casino and decided not to. So I came back home. Which is an accomplishment considering I drove 30 miles to get there. I need to get back in the my controlled lifestyle not let this one slip lead into days and days of chasing. Proud of myself right now.

Had a good if routine chat with significant other. He is feeling a bit down now that he is back in North Dakota is with his truck being broke and we don't know when we'll see each other again and we usually have more of an idea to look forward to. He gets his taxes done on there Friday and he usually anticipates a refund so we are hoping in a few weeks when he gets the refund he will somehow be able to for the plane ticket to come home and visit. I told him we just have to think positive wait and see how much is getting that going to Texas something will come along we will get to see each other again soon. Or maybe I can scrape up enough money to go there for a long weekend, we will just have to see. It's just hard to keep both of our spirits out of the dumps after coming back from vacation, and seeing each other and getting engaged, to going to win we won't know when we'll see each other and we are dealing with her reality some problems. But I am determined to stay positive. Still happy I resisted to gamble tonight.

At work already at 5 AM. Thursdays are my long workdays every single Thursday I work from 5 AM until 8 PM LOL it is a long day and I always hope to have energy to power through it. Glad I'm feeling better and less tired than I was earlier this week. Glad I didn't gamble last night and that I chose no!

Been reading some of the old diarries found on here some really old ones of started in 2010 some the stories I gut-wrenching and reading through how bad it can get is good to keep me in control

Afternoon Jen,

Well done on not gambling last night and I am pleased you had a proper conversation with you fiancГ©, hopefully thst has made you feel a lot stronger.

Keep positive and keep strong,

Suzanne xxx

Thanx Suzanne. Some mini urges today but luckily I'm stuck @ work until late (8pm) and hopefully too tired by then. Hope fiancГ© finds out he's getting big tax refund when he has his taxes done tomorrow ; then he can book a plane ticket for a visit home next month! Otherwise we don't know when we'll see each other again. Fighting them gambling urges and bummed out/missing my fiancГ© feelings....

Resisted those urges last nite! Even if I go today it is my allowed gambling day just got to figure out how much to spend & leave the rest alone.

Hi Jenilee,

I am new to this site and only on day 2 of trying to stop gambling 100% so have read your diary with much interest & admiration of your quest to continue but in a controlled way.

I have to ask... Is tonight really your "Allowed gamble day"??? Did you not state in your post on the 24th that you were going to cancel this weekends allowed gambling due to your "un-allowed" gambling earlier???

I am not questioning your plan, just wanted to remind you of your own words. My aim is only to get you to stop and think before gambling tonight.

I am so sorry if you or anybody else feels I am speaking out of place but I do believe this forum is a place where we can all help each other and that includes being tough when tough is needed.

I want you to succeed and more than that I want you to be happy in your decisions.

If you can succeed in your quest for controlled gambling then I would be one of the first to congratulate you.

I hope you make the right choice tonight for YOU.

hi Sally and welcome to posting on my thread. I love it when other people post it's even more rewarding than me posting on my own. Even though when I go days without a response I still post, because it's my "diary"and I've committed to this. I forgot I had said that actually( I've been very exhausted from work this week and actually totally forgot I had said that). So it's okay that you reminded me. So maybe I will skip today. I'll give that some thought. And I'll let you know. Please feel free to post anything at anytime is good for me to interact about the subject!

Hi Jenilee,

Lovely to meet you & I forgot to congratulate you on your engagement. "CONGRATULATIONS".

Tonight is part of your life so only you get to decide what you are going to do.

My comment was not just about reminding you of your own plans but also a way of letting you know that there are people here who really care about you and your future.

We are all in this fight together. xx

Xx

🙂

I'll post later, probably tomorrow about what I decide to do and how it goes

I find a good to post daily or almost daily just posting reading and being on here it's a big help in motivating me to get control of this

Hey Jen,

You keep posting and reading hun and fight this addiction in the way it suits you. If today was your planned day for casino...maybe Sally is right...give it a miss till next week...but choice is yours so just do what you feel is right for you.
stay safe either way

stay