I always though that rock bottom was some dark days where I lost a hell of a lot of money, or had £0 to my name from it.
Today I discovered a new one, my latest slip-up has resulted in my partner of 5 years deciding enough's enough and leaving. She's been my rock of support when I opened up to her 2 years ago, and she's changed my life in how she's helped me tackle my addiction.
However I messed up in August and I messed up again last weekend, and the toll it's taken on her is too much. I guess I never took it seriously, even when I'm at my best moments, it's always hanging around, you can't let your guard down.
Now begins a new challenge. Counselling, GA meetings, this diary. I have amazing support around me, but I'll always regret what I've lost. I just hope this is the start of something urgent. This only happens in movies right? Well it's very much real, and now me fighting this head on is a matter of urgency, and for the long term as well.
Matt
Thank you for sharing your story today on the forum.
I am glad you have started some counselling, are attending GA meetings and keeping up with your diary. It sounds like you are going through a particularly difficult time, however the fact you are keeping up with the support networks you have in place shows your dedication to your own recovery.
If you haven't already, please do reach out to us on live chat or our helpline Tel: 0808 8020 133
We are more than happy to speak with you if you need some support. We are available 24 hours a day if you need us.
Please do continue sharing your story on the forum
Kind Regards,
Forum Admin
George
Went to a GA session today, walked out with a big smile on my face. How did I not go to that sooner?
And to think they’re everywhere and I just never looked into them.
This is coming up to Day 6 of being gamble free. I’m so ready to smash out many many many days more, but I’ve already been so impatient.
Small steps first, but I can’t stop thinking about the end goals that I want.
Well done on 6 days, and so sorry to hear of your break up.
You are so right about small steps. My own recovery saw me realising what made me gamble, what kept me gambling and eventually what helped to stop me gambling.
Putting the all important blocks in place is so important and is something everyone is capable of doing.
Seeking support and researching our addiction is also something that with a nudge we can all do to.
Moving forward its about finding out why you gamble and continue to gamble and finding ways to gradually lessen those cravings, and that isnt easy but with hard work and hard thinking its doable.
I gambled for 35 years so it was very ingrained in my life, today i very rarely think of gambling. My own triggers depression , boredom and stress have been addressed and with good planning i now have the tools and thinking to mitigate these triggers.
Its not been easy but now i am reaping the benefits.
May i offer you one piece of advice for life in general,and this relates to small steps , deal with the problems you know you can solve first , this should give you more confidence to address the harder problems and creates a kind of snowball effect.
Finally be positive you can and will smash this, and find a better understanding of who you are and what you can really achieve.
The very best of luck in getting to where you would like to be.
8 days and more and I feel in a good headspace, but if anything my main feeling is of guilt that there’s going to be a lot of changes in my life now.
I have to stay on the straight and narrow of my goals, but it’s really hard to not be looking ahead to a few months down the track.
Keep your head down and focus on the here and now, you will definitely know when its time to look forward and start to plan.
Keep going and stay strong.
Coming up to Day 15 for me, head is in a better place day by day. But discipline is needed to make sure I stay on the right path.
Can’t get to 100 days overnight, just take the necessary steps along the way.
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