My story and journey forward 190416

Day 80 gamble free - that 100 mark doesn't seem too far away now!

Know I need to continue to work hard everyday. Im starting to feel the benefit of not gambling both emotionally and financially but I know from the past that is when complacency can kick in.

A few small bets here and there wont do any harm - the spiral begins and who knows where it would end.

What I DO KNOW is if I chose to continue to not gamble I can improve my mental wellbeing and have some control over my future.

Was thinking alot tonight about my old habits. I've had the whole evening to myself, Mrs out with friends but happy to drop her off and pick her up soon. Something I would have probably grudged in past due to my selfishness - petrol money and potential gambling time.

In the past this evening would have started with stopping off at service station on way back to play fobt's. Then most likely having lost a few hundred raced home to get online to try and win it back at higher stakes - I might have ended up in profit or (more likely) hundreds more in debt. Head would have been spinning, stressed running late to pick up Mrs. Try to sleep but not really just waiting to get up in morning try to sneak online chase the losses once more. The evening would have flown by with several hours wasted. Got knows how the weekend would have panned out.

Instead stopped off on way home, got myself something nice from M&S for dinner - few treats too. Popped to see parents, watched a documentary about Euro 96 which i've had recorded for a while. Also managed to do some of my freelance work which will bring in some extra money. Alot more productive than the alternative evening above!!

I can't change the past but I can make better decisions/choices going forward.

Onwards and upwards.

Hey Tommy,

I'm still hanging around but not commenting as much as I never really know what to write these days.....and still gamble free.

I really appreciate the shout though as its nice to know there is people out there interested in how I am getting along.....being a cg can be a lonely life at times.

Glad to see you are still going strong mate..... And I probably need to try and update my diary a bit more often. This place has helped me a lot over the last few months.

Cheers

Damo

Damo 🙂

Good to see your posts tonight! Glad your still gamble free.

I think I've become addicted to the forum now - I check in every morning when I get up and before going to bed at night. Sometimes also through the day. These were times I'd log on for a slot session. In the 20-30mins whilst wife was up in bed reading the daily mail app or whatever I could blow hundreds!! Then i'd go to bed head spinning, hardly sleep, get up early to try and win back before work. The never-ending wheel of misfortune.

Now I have replaced that routine with the forum. I dont always post either but follow other's progress. What I have noticed is those who gradually slip away from the forum and the routine - many return months later in a worse position having relapsed. I'm determined I wont be one of them.

Keep your chin up - a day at a time - your gamble free and taking positive strides for your future. As other's further down the road say, it will get better. Let's be honest it could have been alot worse if we hadn't committed to stopping.

Onwards and upwards.

Was at the British Open today at Troon. Amazing day and lovely weather. Enjoyed even more gamble free.

Not saying that it wasn't on my mind. I always used to bet on golf majors so naturally I looked at players on leaderboard who I would normally have fancied to do well etc. Now I'm just rooting for players I like to do well - not because I have money on them. Know I cannot gamble - not even small stakes - it's just not an option. Staying gamble free is the only option for me.

Night all.

Hi Tommy,

Thanks very much for your message of support. You are doing brilliantly. Stay strong my friend. Have a great gambling free weekend.

Best wishes

Dave

Thanks Dave, that 100 mark for both of us is edging closer. It's only a marker though and we need to feel proud that day when we get there just for a short moment (no complacency) and then plough on as normal with recovery.

Had a great weekend, over indulged but oh well detox on Monday ha ha. Been doing a bit extra work recently (as not wasting hours on end gambling anymore) so treated my wife to some things this weekend (massage, meals etc) - feels good to do nice things for other people again (and not grudge it) - part of the GA philosophy if I remember.

Onwards and upwards.

I think the frugal part is a key driver for many of us compulsive gamblers. We think before going shopping, getting a haircut or a night out we could win the money to pay for these things. Actually, we do already have the money to pay for these things. How can winning £10 for a haircut or £5 for razors then spiral into hundreds or even thousands lost. In actual fact we end up not getting the haircut or buying razors because time is then wasted trying to win back losses. We don't want to part with 'our money' for certain everyday things but when it comes to gambling, we don't think for a second before blowing hundreds/thousands.

In terms of limiting cash in pocket near pubs, arcades and FOBTS etc I have found CONTACTLESS CARDS a good tool now. I used to withdraw money all the time when I needed a few pounds here and there - like buying lunch, milk, bread etc. Now I use the contactless card to avoid having cash on me. Limits the times you actually have money in your pocket. That's for me where the spiral began many years ago. 'Could I turn this £4 into £20' which later in life led me to 'could I turn hundreds into thousands'.

Day 91 gamble free. Not far away from the 100 day milestone but as always taking it a day at a time.

Had my online counselling session today after 2 weeks break - this is the 3rd session I've had and was a real breakthrough. Was quite emotional but my counsellor made a discovery about my relationship with my father and how that has impacted my gambling behaviour that really did make alot of sense. Because of that I'm going to try and tackle some issues that have been underlying for many years. When we stop gambling we have to face upto real life s**t but it should be worth it in the long run.

Feeling positive about the future - the debt is still there and will be for the next few years but confident that it will go eventually if I stick to the plan. Even with paying a monthly installment to debt I feel like I have more money as I was wasting so much on a monthly basis that I hadn't really realised.

Onwards and upwards.

Good morning Tommy,

Thanks for your message. It is really appreciated. Great to read how positive you are feeling about life. You are doing fantastically well.

Have a great weekend.

Dave

Thanks Dave, much appreciated.

Had a tough week but happy to still be gamble free. Have been feeling anxious about tackling things in my life this week head on - but I have done it and not avoided certain difficult situations by escaping with gambling. Something I'm realising I did alot in the past.

Hoping for a better week ahead with my 100 day mark on Friday.

Onwards and upwards.

Got my dates mixed up was surprised this morning when I saw 101 days gamble free when I logged in 🙂

Ironic that it is payday today. Was thinking yesterday that time used to go so slow and when I got paid I never knew what would transpire in the next month. Yes, I have always had a budget detailing my outgoings for the month ahead on a spreadsheet but over the month this would constantly change - when I lost and chased losses it would go out the window.

For the past few months it hasn't. I get paid, pay the bills, pay my monthly gambling payment debt, budget for social things and other bits and bobs I need - then stick to the plan. Whatever extra I have left at end of month will then be saved into a saving account towards debt. (What a feeling to have something left at the end of the month! Unheard of) I have a running total of debt from day I stopped and I am aalready astonished at how much I have saved and also the extra things I have done in this time with my money. The month doesn't seem so long these days and I'm actually enjoying social occasions again, my mind is clearer not fuzzy from the gambling wheel of misfortune.

Onwards and upwards.

Morning Tommy,

Congratulations on reaching 100 days gambling free! I'm really chuffed for you. You are doing so well.

I can really relate to the being able to enjoy social occasions again without being distracted. I used to take every available opportunity to sneak out and either check or place a bet. So sad and pointless. Life is so much better without gambling being a part of it!

Best wishes

Dave

Thanks Dave. Much appreciated!

It will be your turn tomorrow 🙂

Hello Tommy

Congrats on reaching 101 days Thats brilliant!! You know what I was reading your post on the excel spreadsheet and out the window that was so me too! The social side of things i can relate to as well. Life is so much better when you are off the bet!! Congrats on triple figures!