NEED PEOPLE... I just need people like you to be there for me right now

Dear @signalman,

So good to hear from you and so good to hear you are still going strong. 

Life has ups and downs and when things are challenging we seek comfort, that is normal. But if you have had a gambling problem in a past (or alcohol, drugs, cigarettes) the knee-j**k reaction is to get the old (destructive) comfort. It's about finding new ways to self-soothe and to build your resilience through good self-care and good work-life-balance in the times when everything is calm. 

Be kind to yourself, you have done amazing and you are a real inspiration for many.

Keep going and please update us occasionally.

All the very best,

Eva

Forum Admin

Thanks guys, I think I got a bit excited (as most people probably have) as we were coming out of lockdown, but after realising where I was heading I'm back on the good path again, and a good headspace ?‍♂️

I think I said many a time on here that one of the key learnings in my recovery was realising that I am all the more vulnerable when the going is good and I am revelling in positive emotion, as opposed to being on my a**e in a depressive state - both are slippery slopes but the former is defo more detrimental for me if I am not careful.

Thank god I have this sort of awareness as I slide into my 40's...  When I look back it's beggar belief how I managed to maraud through life with none of the awareness that I have now in relation to how sick I was and according coping strategies.

Crazy really... I wish addiction was less taboo...

Take care guys x love to all x stay strong everyone. Use the easing of restrictions as a gateway for improvement and wellbeing as opposed to a trap door of bitterness and destruction. 

Hi Signalman

Thanks for the amazing honest and touching diary. I’ve been struggling a bit the last couple of weeks with work stress due to a lot of lockdown changes finally getting to me and stressing me out. I came back to the Gamcare forum not because I have gambling urges just now but because of the great place it is for advice before you get to that stage from this great community. 

You’re diary is inspirational and I would recommend anyone who is struggling on day 1 or 1001 to take time out to read the whole thing.

All the best to you and you're missus and little un.

Stay strong

Iain

I started a degree today! ???

First class was today, wish me luck. 

I'm not trying to gloat, but more inspire others to see that a life beyond gambling offers so much more, when you can save money and use it sensibly, for long-term gains. Hopefully I'll get a better job and career at the end. 

Recovery doesn't come easy, but it will come if you keep on the good path. 

I made promises to myself when I started my recovery (see OP) - this is a milestone for me, make sure you have yours setup for your journey. It tastes sweet and makes it all worthwhile when you start hitting them off ✊✊

Much love xx

Hi Signalman,

I do wish you luck & many good things in life. I'm buzzing for you.

Best

Al

Al!

Amazing to hear from you buddy. 

Hope you're still going well.

You were very much part of my journey of recovery, at the very least for your sharp and witty anicdotes which always provided light hearted humour in days of perpetual pain and regret.

The one about the greyhound you bought with two left feet still brings a smile to my face today ?

Mind you, it hasn't always been plain sailing, came close a couple of times to throwing it all away, thank god I have lived and learnt so knew when to draw back.

It stays with you this addiction, it never really disappears. Always be on guard ✊

Signalman, 

It's heartwarming to see how far you've come on in the last 3 years, so many fantastic achievements. Hopefully your story will inspire so many others stuck in the same cesspit you & I once shared. It's not just the fact you've stayed GF all this time but the sense of optimism I sense in your story. I've no doubt you'll get your degree, get a better paid job & make those who've embraced the new you proud. I hope you stay in touch & continue to demonstrate what can be achieved through abstinence, determination & the strength of character you've shown for so long. Hope your wife & beautiful boy are enjoying the wonderful ride you're clearly on.

Sincere Best Wishes

I've Missed You & KS2

Al

Thank you Al ✊ look after yourself and keep inspiring others. You certainly have a story, don't stop telling it, it's influential and inspirational.

Ps another sprog on the way! It's all happening! And a house move! I really am blessed at the moment.

Whilst gambling would have practically prevented me for making many of these moves, let me tell anyone reading this that spiritually it affects you too... Every time you lay the bet you lay a bit of your self-esteem, self-belief, hope and ultimately your soul at the same time.

Well at least the addict does anyway. Please take heed if you are wobbling. Please, don't bother with it anymore. 

Take care all x 

CHRISTMAS COMING. VULNERABLE PEOPLE BEWARE. THE PRESSURE TO BUY PRESENTS, EXTRA EXPENDITURES AND GETTING CAUGHT UP IN THE SEASONAL JOY OF IT ALL CAN LEAD US DOWN A DARK PATH. DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO TO PROTECT YOURSELF DURING THIS PERIOD.

Don't start the year flat on your a**e. 

Protect your humanity, excessive gambling strips you of everything you need to believe in yourself, take it from me ✊

Hi Signalman,

Amazing & inspiring to see your progress.

First time I have logged on (or even looked) in a long, long time.

Brilliant that you and slowlearner have cruised past the 3 years.

Back to square 1 for me, but what can you do but try again.

Hey Ken 

? I can't sit here and tell you what's worked for me, because frankly I've come close a few times myself and been lucky to avoid it, especially in the last year - but I do know what a relapse feels like and I hope you're ok, bearing up and ready to go again ✊

I know that the community will benefit from your presence anyway, yourself and Al have been solid components of my recovery since finding this place and what it offers.

Kudos for getting back here before it took you completely, waving the white flag was never my strong point back in the day.

I hope you're ok and getting back to basics in terms of the preventative measures you'll need to put in place, I hope you didn't do too much damage overall.

You've tasted freedom, so now you know what it feels like and there is more out there for you if you want it and you are patient.

Keep fighting pal ?

Many thanks for visiting my diary Signalman. The support you give is greatly appreciated and your post has brightened up my weekend.

Congratulations are in order for your excellent progress in recovery. It is over 3 years since you last gambled and during that time you have worked tirelessly in rebuilding your life.

I respect your dedication. You strike me as a man of honour and integrity who harbours great love for his family and I admire your love of life. I believe you have a fire in your belly and feel sure you will contribute to making the world a better place. 

?

Message of hope and strength to all those struggling with gambling addiction over the Christmas period. It was certainly (and still is to an extent) a vulnerable time for me, not sure why... Maybe getting carried away on a wave of good cheer and merriment, or perhaps just the pressure to provide presents for everyone and ensure that I co-ordinate the perfect Christmas. Whatever the reason, I often found myself in my a**e xmas day, staring blankly into my Christmas dinner, wondering where the money was going to come from in January and hating myself for ruining another start to another year with a Christmas gambling spree.

Please don't let this be you. If you're wobbling, it's better to stay wobbling and ride it out than give in to temptation and end up broken. Please wake up on xmas day with money in the bank. That feeling is priceless for a gambling addict and supercedes any cheap thrill or buzz you'll get from a gambling win around this time of year. 

Remember, most wins are followed by devastating losses, that's why you're here ✊

Start the year on a high, avoid gambling

Stay strong

Hi Signalman,

You've given many hope on here ( myself included ) & to see you reap the rewards of saying "NO No More" is truly inspirational. May you all have a merry Xmas. Keep going you've got this.

AL

Hi Signal, just letting you know  , I’ve cracked it , after all this time I’ve got it under control. It can be done, all those desperate times, anguish, sadness, confusion and madness, never will be repeated. It can be done and I’m the proof… Never give up, never. I wish you well mate, regards bobbyj/Rainman