Need serious help! My life is ruined

Been thinking of you rach. .

Rach87 wrote:

You are all so kind to me, and you don't even know me which is so nice when I read these comments. I have found out I'm having a little girl which has kind off taken my mind of things for a second. I am so lucky to have my son and now be pregnant again. I have a few references, my mums best friend has been told she said I must have had some kind of breakdown as usually i'ma goody goody. When it comes out everyone will be shocked. I've always held down good jobs and people have loved me but now I feel I don't deserve anyone. I don't want to be known as the thief and a bad mum, I already know that's what people think. My main concern now is not being taken away from my children, I'm starting to think less of what others think although I am sad that my family and partner will have to go through the embarrassment of it all. I just wish I could go back to the person I once was, it's hard to think that will ever happen. Maybe in time I can get past this but I fear I will always think I won't be good enough or that I shouldn't be loved after what I've done. Thank you all for your support and well wishes. I hope you are all going strong and will never end up in this awful position from this sick addiction xxx

Hello Rach,

People are being kind because -

A. They understand and emphasise and get what kinda grip gambling can do. A truly bizarre behavioural addiction.
B. It's quite obvious reading between the lines that your a kind and caring person.

You Will come through this a more rounded strong person. ' What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger '

Hope things are ok rach x

Thinking of you Rach. This addiction does not discriminate. It will latch onto any person from any walk of life.
We know that because we know we are not bad people.
The people who have known you for some time will also know this. There's not many people who will condemn us for becoming addicted. The majority know it can creep up on anyone and have probably heard of other similar cases already.
Take strength from the love of family and friends around you. There's lots sent from this site as well. Let us know how you're doing. We do care x

Hi everyone,

So I went to my plea, it's been sent to crown court next month and it's highly likely I'll be sent to prison. The only thing I can hope is that it's a suspended sentence as I have a young baby and I'm pregnant, if my partner stops work we will lose our home. I'm praying I get a nice judge who sees I'm a good character and wouldn't do it again. No one takes this addiction seriously unless they have been through it. The solicitor told me I'd be better off being a heroin addict! Not sure why she would even say that?! She was appointed last money on the day and wasn't very reassuring but then I guess they see cases like this all the time and learn to switch off. Need to get my head right and start arranging care. I am crying as I type this. I can't be away from him, he needs me 🙁

Great to hear from you rach..
Is it a "Newton hearing" ?
Now's the time to get those character references in order I said about a few weeks back...you've nothing to loose..
Get your family to write...and your hubby...explaining the impact a custodial will have on him and your child.....I did...and daughters solicitor was adamant it helped the judge see the bigger picture...
At the very least love....you'll know you've done everything you can..
Keep fighting x

Hi Rach, been following your story and hoping for a good outcome. Can you ask for a pre-sentence report from a probation officer who can detail your personal circumstances? Not sure how it works...

I've given my character referencing to the solicitor, I also gave a letter from my gp saying I have been awaiting counselling since August and have been attending anxiety courses. My son also has a condition with his eye which may require surgery when he's one so that's also noted. I have been told I will work with the probation service prior to my sentencing and they will put then pre sentencing report together. I have looked online though and it says the judge doesn't have to even read it let alone go on the recommendations. I am trying to think they won't want to see everyone around me punished but I did the crime so it's only fair to have to make up for it I suppose. Just hope I can do that from home and be with my kids. My partner was upset and said if I go away he won't get to see our new baby 🙁

Sorry Loxxie, but what is a Newton hearing? X

It's when the judge decides. ...no jury. ...and I'm sure he'll read all relevant paper work hun. ..that's the idea of pre sentencing reports....keep focused..and posative xx

No there won't be a jury as there's no trial. I've cooperated and pleaded guilty from the start. Hopefully the judge will try and look at my situation and find another option for me rather than prison x

Thanks for getting in touch. I know it won't make any difference to the outcome but all I can send to you is my support.
Hope you get your wish for a suspended sentence.
Whether religious or not I'll say a little prayer for you and your family.
Take care x

Thank you little miss lost, that's very kind of you. My nan believes in the power of prayer and has been saying one every day for me. I had a letter from the solicitor today, it made me a bit more hopeful as it said given my personal circumstances we hope the judge would suspend it in your case..... I have to be positive as the thought of not seeing my baby boy for even one night breaks my heart. Plus I really don't want to give birth In prison! Can't believe my life has become this, I know people make mistakes but what on earthy was I thinking? It's weird how it only happend during my pregnancy too, I have never ever done anything like This before ....

I am laying awake wondering what I have done, I have missed a few mortgage payments and the provider said if it happened again I would default and action would be taken..... they payment is due and I don't have the money and no one else can help. All I want to do is gamble and try and get money to get back on track! Am I for real? After all I've already caused I still look to that as a way out! I don't think I will ever rid this addiction as nothing seems to have stopped these thoughts and feelings. I am a bad mum and partner, I can't even keep a roof over their heads. Does anyone know anything about repossession or what will happen when I miss this next payment? It will have been the 4th one?

Hi Rachel
Usually 3 missed payments brings about for closure.
So missing 4 you're in severe danger of losing your home.

Does your partner know the situation?

It's not unusual for you to still be wanting to gamble. I read your diary a few month's back and I think you said you were still active?

I'm going to be blunt it's not going to improve at all if you're still gambaling more so it's going to get a lot worse.

Judges tend to go with the facts
I'm guessing it was a serious sum of money?

From reading your diary it would seem you've done little to combat your addiction in the time since being caught. Forgive me if I'm wrong.
Time's running out Rachel.
Spend it Wisley get yourself to ga
Have Gamcare sought you out some counselling.
Do something and don't let that something be gambaling

Deano