Need serious help! My life is ruined

I know I'm a f up, I've ruined everything and I have no idea who I am anymore. I know it's the truth and it's hard to hear but at this time I am so depressed and hate myself so much I don't really want to feel worse so I think I'm going to come off this site for now. I appreciate you trying to help but I can't feel much lower. I am going to lose my house my children and everyone I've ever had a relationship with. It was a significant amount and I can't believe I've done it but I have, if the judge wants to send me away then that's that. Im not feeling sorry for myself I am in a bery bad place and not getting any better

Rachel,

There is no point in coming off the site because you don't like what your hearing from people. I offered some advice a few weeks ago, and it wasn't easy to write because I don't know you personally and I don't know your situation, only what you have said. What I did say and what Deano has re-iterated, sometimes we need to help ourselves in life. We all have made mistakes, I have made many. However, all we can do is stand up and fight and do the best that we can. If you want to finish up being on Gamcare that is your decision, but sometimes it is harder to stand your ground and sort stuff out. The mortgage compant will take your house, if you don't have a formal agreement through a debt management plan, why not think about talking to someone about getting one. I understand that your at a very low ebb, but you can do something about this situation. But you have to do something.

Whatever you decide, I wish you all the very best in the world.

Julie x

Rachel sorry if my post came across as if I was having a go
I wasn't.
In your situation I'd rather write a post with integrity and meaning
It would be wrong for me to just say don't worry about it you'll be fine.
I wanted to write something that would make you think hold on he's right I need to do more.
Contact the mortgage lender and explain your situation your on maternity leave and you need to set a payment plan up
Don't Bury your head and hope for the best.
I wouldn't go running away from Gamcare if it's your only way of expressing how your feeling

Stop beating yourself up and start fighting your way out

All the best

Rach, don't give up. Your little boy and baby girl need you.
You've made mistakes you know that so now you have to do everything within your power to try to correct them for your childrens sake.
If this means contacting step change, (tomorrow if possible) asking for help from professionals. Gathering proof that you are serious about stopping gambling and basically doing anything within your power to show that you are sorry and you want to change then that's what you have to do.
OK, I'm not saying it will work but at least if it doesn't you'll feel like you'd done everything you possibly could given the circumstances.
I cannot begin to imagine how you must be feeling but I hope you can find the courage and the strength within yourself to help yourself.
I'm not intending to upset you with this post, I sincerely hope I haven't.
Take care and make some calls tomorrow, I'm sure you'll feel all the better for doing it x

Come on rach...
No point chucking the towel in and leaving gamcare...
It's not 100% youll loose your home. ..but you will if you do nothing. .ring them...explain ... be honest...just ring them and find out your options....all any of us in here have tried to do is support you and point you in the right direction for help.....but we can't do it for you hun...make some calls....

Sorry I have been without a phone. That's been cut off now so I owe money on that contract. It's all mess, I'm so desperate for money, I have been looking at cash in hands jobs but I can't do them with the baby. My mortgage was the arrears paid by the end of the month, I have my case around then too. I literally don't know what to do any more. I have sent letters being sent everyday and there is nothing I can do to get things paid 🙁

Hi rach
You need to speak to mortage company and other firms you owe bills ....they will NOT go away...im assuming the mortage is in joint names ....so make an appoiyment for you both to go together. ..tell them about your adduction ...that your trying to deal with it...that your family are supporting you...they can help you more...the sooner you speak honestly to them...the same goes for the other companies...better to speak to them now ...don't wait for the bailiffs to knock...because that's what will happen if you ignore it..
Has your partner not taken control of the fiances ?
Are you entitled to any help ? Tax credits maybe...
there's no magic answer or quick fix either with your addiction...or the debts it has caused....you know that...but you can make things easier by taking to the firms concerned....I'm hoping your still gamble free...don't let the need for cash send you back to the slots....that's how you got here in the first place....come on rach. ..fight !
Enjoy a peacfull Sunday...then crack on with making plans on Monday...good luck love x

Perhaps speak to https://www.stepchange.org/ I used them when things got on top of me. They contact all your debtors and get payment plans setup for you. You have to put some steel in your belly here my friend. You need to sort things out as if you go to court and you do get a negative outcome, you don't get a few days to sort things out, you go down there an then. You need to get things sorted beforehand. I don't want to come across as harsh but you need to start planning...

Write down on paper what you need to do and do one at a time. Don't get overwhelmed.

Rach, give stepchange a call. It is a freephone number 0800 138 1111. They will go through your debts with you and they approach the people that you owe money to, and ask them to accept a minimum payment. Stepchange have the power to deal with companies, they normally listen to them, and except the offers that your making. But by doing nothing, your not giving the companies a chance to respond to your situation. Desparation for money, makes us feel hopeless. There is a answer here, but you have to be brave enough to make that next step and pick up the phone and call Stepchange. If it is easier to go into the back with your partner and discuss the mortgage then do, but do something. Don't sit at home, letting the letters pile up! It is distressing for you. The last thing you also need is the baliffs round at the door....Just do something, call Stepchange, they are very friendly and deal with people day in, day out with debt, some into hundreds of thousands of pounds...Thinking of you.

Julie x

Rach,

Completely agree with Julie above. It may also help with evidence of responsibility in the forthcoming weeks.

Best wishes

Hey Rach!! Hope your still fighting!! I know this is a massive thing to say or suggest...could you look into selling your home to repay your employer (obviously depending on equity etc), and start again fresh, maybe go to local council explain your situation and see if they are willing to help? I've just gone with stepchange, they are a life saver. Use this negative to turn into a positive if u can. We are rooting for you...x

Hi Rach, just wondered how you're getting on?
I hope you managed to get something sorted with your mortgage.
I know you said your case is this month. Just thinking of you and hope you get the best possible outcome for you and your family. Big hugs xx

Hey Rach.

Thinking of you too and hope things are not as bleak as you were saying. There is always a way, an option/solution to most things. We just need to decide which is the best one for us at the time.

Take care and praying that things will get better for you and your family.

Our Lady.

Hey rach. .
Just thought id pop over and let you know I'm thinking of you..not sure of court date..
I know you said you'd have a break from here...but just in case your still around I hope it goes well...if it does please let us know...we can then help you fight your addiction once your heads clearer....if it doesn't go in your favour....stay strong love....we will all be here when you return.x

Rachel, we gavent forgotten you x