new beginning

Paul,

Also sorry to hear what's happened - but it's separate from your gambling issue.

CW

Hi everyone,

Thanks for your support. Worst day i ever had in work. My last boss passed away. Everyone was numb.

I went to the bar and had 4 pints.

Got a call from my wife that our mortgage was approved. Very happy but sad too.

No gambling today.

Thankyou all for your kind words.
Toad.

Day 2

Morning all. I'm going to count the days gamble free again. Try and stay away from all forms of gambling.

Toad is feeling groggy today. I had 4 pints then half a bottle of wine with my wife to celebrate getting the mortgage through.
Still feel sad for my work colleague.

I guess life never stops. Someone in the world dies and another life is born.

In a way it's fair that when i die someone else gets in the world and hopefully has a good life like me. Hopefully they don't gamble though.

So i will go for a coffee this morning and chill before work.

I wish you all a good gamble free and happy day.

Toad.

12.34 update.

In the pub having a cold beer. That's what i'm talking about 🙂

Hello 38 and All,

Thankyou for your kind words and advice.

Day 1

I had a disaster yesterday i ended up in the bookies after work.

This morning i lifted two photos and changed shirts. So now i can't self exclude today. I won't be near the place. Still angry with myself.

This man was hitting the fobt screen. 'I lost £400' he said.

I was annoyed losing £10 so i'm sure he felt gutted.

It's a wet old day. Yes i'm a toad and like the rain but i feel a bit subdued today. I feel like the weather. So i shall just sit on my lilly pad today and stay out of trouble.

I have lost my hop today.
Best wishes.
Toad.

If you keep doing what you're doing, You'll keep getting what you're getting,

sorry for you toad. .
Sorry for your lady..
Sorry you have another day of living in the hold of your gambling addiction. ...
Nothing will change....untill you change it !
But then you know all this..have a good one. X

Thankyou Oldham and loxxie,

Loxxie don't feel sad for my wife. I look after her. I pay her my wages so i protect her from gambling these days. Yes you can feel sorry for me that's not a problem.

And i have helped my wife get a dream home. I am good to my wife the last couple of years. In the past i have hurt her with gambling. Not now.

But. I get most of the other points.

Toad.

To thine own self be true, Paul.

CW

Thankyou cw,

I booked a half day for a few beers. Bank holiday weekend. I might as well have a few. It's been a tough week.

Hopefully everyone is avoiding the hounds, horses and fobts.

The fobts are deadly. I remember putting ВЈ10 each/way on a 40-1 at portman park and it won. £500 odd.

I bought my mate a pizza and myself and a few games of pool. Then i returned to the bookis and fed it £400 odd. Did the lot in.

Yeah Toad crawled home that day. No chance of a hop.

Anyway that's in the past. I am making great progress i just need to abstain and maintain.

Toad.

Morning Paul , Every day I log on here and check your diary for any sign that things may or might be changing and without sounding harsh , very little does .

I believe that Monday you gambled , Tuesday you gambled ,Wed you didn't as sadly your ex boss had passed away , Thursday you gambled ? , then I log on this morning and having seen your last post and the words " I am making great progress , I just need to abstain and maintain " ? again without trying to be harsh , those are the two things that your not doing , it's wonderfull that you come back on here day after day and are perfectly honest about your previous day's gambling episode and for that I tip my hat at you but in order to make the progress that you talk of , you have to just draw a line at some point , say to yourself " enough is enough " and simply stop gambling ! .

It really Isn't Rocket science Paul , just basic common sense !.

You still have my support and best wishes Paul .

Alan

Toad - in one post you don't want to re-read your diary as "the past is the past". In another post you quite happily talk about your past wins in great detail. If you did tead back you would realise that you keep doing the same things and expecting a different result.

Also, It's great that you are supporting your wife and buying your dream home but let me ask you a question - which do you think is most important to your wife - a big house or an honest relationship? Forgive me if I am wrong and you are already being as honest with your wife as you are with your diary.

As always - all the best.

Paul, I repeat: to thine own self be true.

Hello All,

I'm going to my work collegues funeral this morning.

Going to take a few days off the diary to gather my thoughts.

I will be back Tuesday morning. I should be on day 5 when I return to work.

Good luck everyone.
Toad.

Day 5,

Morning from the toad. I'm back!!!
No gambling for 5 days!

I didn't miss gambling and i didn't have any urges. I realise i am not cured. It's just a good wee period and i will always have to watch i don't gamble for the rest of my life. I think i enjoyed it too much.

Me and Mrs Toad ( i won't tell her i'm calling her that) we spent the weekend clearing the garage out.

Then we drove past the house we are buying and it has a sold sign on it 🙂

Exciting times for us both.
I see it as a new start.

I am lucky to be alive. I went to my last bosses funeral. Only 60. Never saw her pension. She was a happy and positive person. A bit like me but i want to remember
her for that and to be more like her.

So on that note. I hope everyone has a positive and happy day. Stay on the lilly pad. Watch out for dragonflies and wasps ( bookies and online )

Best wishes,
Toad -ribit

Yeahhh
Lovely to read Paul
See.....life's better without gambling
5days....woop x