NEW DAWN , NEW DAY , FEELING GOOD !

Hi Alan

2 years, wow!

Funny what you mentioned on my diary, this is how sick and demented I was. On one occasion before entering the casino, I was eating crisps and pulled out a crisp the same shape as the number 8, yes, you can guess what happened. All night I was chasing number 8, it would land on 23 and 30 on numerous occasions but never number 8. What followed afterwards was me making trips to the conveniently placed cashpoint right next to the tables which charged £2.50 per withdrawal. After spending several hundreds chasing 8 my money had all gone.

Now it was a quick trip to the toilet and then the walk of shame (head down) out of the casino, after exiting the toilet a glanced over at the table I was playing. Alongside the table there was an electronic board showing the last 20 numbers that had come out, right at the top was number 8!

I was gutted and totally broken. It is these feelings I will remind myself the next time I have an urge.

Take care.

Shaun

Hey Alan, and here you are at the 2 year milestone, setting off, with out breaking stride, towards 3 years - always one day at a time 🙂

Loving your diary - what I like is that you have that great balance of not putting up with any nonsense yet you have that spirit of generosity and empathy, too - a good combination!

All the best as a third glorious year GF hovers into view. I'm 23 months behind you (!) but certainly in your slipstream 🙂 !

Hi Al,

Thanks for popping by ☺

Babybel said woofs back for a pat !

I know life is not rosy all the time but as I've been pointed out - I need to acknowledge good stuff more often! I made massive progress In my life and about time I start being greatful for what I have!!!

Work in progress here..but watch this space...positivity may return in my life soon ☺..Patience man 😉

Have a good evening & take care of you

B&S xx

No double celebration required Allan. Hope you noticed the deliberate spelling mistake as I noticed yours, after 2 years I thought would have it right xxx

still a pleasure as always my friend.

Hi Alan. Mr Cod! I wonder if you get sick of fish and chips? I once worked in a toffee apple factory and can't stand the sight of one now!

Thanks for your valuable input and hope that you are keeping well.

Hi Alan,

Just wanted to pop in here and congratulate you on the 2 years.

Appreciate you replying to my thread and offering some sound advice. To you this diary is about helping your own recovery, but to me this is a source of inspiration and you are in a place I want to be 2 years from now. alongside you; gamble free.

I have read a number of your entries on this sunday morning as I think about wanting to gamble and I now feel more relaxed and at peace. Its amazing what power words can have when they come from someone who has been in your position and describes the exact scnearios you find yourself in.

The part that hit me hardest was the desire to 'win at gambling' for your family. I also have this ridiculous ideology that one day I would win enough to sort out all of my familys problems and get myself a new car and wipe of debt all at once thanks to the 'one big win'. Needless to say, that day has never come and the win is no where in sight. Truth be told, if it were not for gambling I would not be in debt and I would be able to afford that new car I want. Its crazy we are at our most destructive when rationalising it as being constructive.

Keep fighting those demons and winning at life. You are an inspiritation to us all who are starting our journey.

Sorry I’m late to congratulate you on your two years bet free ,spaghetti junction was A nightmare? Always good to see you still giving out some solid advice on the forum. Still no battered chips down your end ? Lol have a good one Alan x

Fletch yes inconspicuous huh?

I’m doing really good thanks Alan. Taking it steady as you do . Had a really good holiday in the summer . Nice to spend a bit of time with the family as work is hectic at the minute. Got through my first year and in to the second. Life is slowly getting better. As you know it doesn’t happen over night? I think it’s the first year I haven’t placed a single bet since I was maybe 8 or 9 . Still think about it some days but it’s more the why did i take almost 30 years to walk away ? The gambling doesn’t bother me it’s the adjusting to life without gambling if that makes sense?

Important year this year as my lads just started school and it’s my daughters sats year so plenty to keep busy with.

Nice to chat again and no doubt we’ll speak again soon under some other inconspicuous name

I’m never far away lol

Take it easy x

Hi Alan just for you, if the link below disappears, just google sky news and ***** FOBT.

Looks like the dreaded FOBT's are on their way out!

http://news.sky.com/story/paddy-power-boss-breaks-ranks-on-fixed-odds-betting-terminals-11056211

Hi Alan

Great going on 2 years GF, here's to the next day, and the next, and the next....

Hiya alan I'm quite new to all this but I've been reading quite a few diaries and some of the comments you put on are priceless you are an inspiration as is my friend Oldhamktf I hope to read much more from you and what a cracking achievement 2 years enjoy it pal here's to many more

Hello my old buddy.

Don’t get me wrong I wouldn’t lose sleep if shops started shutting in their masses. But a reduction to 20 pound isn’t going to do much good. A gambler always finds a way and they know this. It just makes them more creative where as they will be offering stupid sign up on line bonuses that have to be wagered a million times. Once those people are online it’s a different world from the one we gambled in, there’s no limits on stake or time. I wouldn’t put it past them if it was just a ploy so more people went online . Shops have done it and tripled their income because people spend more when their in the comfort of their own homes. Maybe I’m wrong only time will tell I just can’t see it being the eureka moment everyone is praying for.

My lad is settling in well thanks Alan always makes me smile when I pick him up as it brings back memory’s of when I was there many moons ago. I didn’t think he would like it but he loves going and he’s meet some new friends. Daughter is also doing well but we knew she would as she’s highly switched on for her age I guess that’s kids today? Just got her a contact phone to give her some responsibility it’s more for my peace of mind so I know we can keep in contact when needed.

Hopefully you’re getting on well as a new grandparent, young kids just make Christmas that little more magical?

Have a good weekend Alan and speak soon x

Yo grandpops. ...thought id better pop over and say hellooooop...
Nothing riveting to report from down here. ....
My addiction...leaving me in
peace...
Family....all quiet on the western front...
Trade...easing off slightly..
Waistline....not responding to my new gym membership as fast as I hoped...
And I'm happy with my lot ...
Soooo. ..just hoping all tickety boo with you....mwahhhh x

753 Day's since my last bet and a short space of time in life , the money isn't what it's about anymore but a quick calculation's just shown me that in that space of time and had I still been gambling at a rate of loss of maybe £ 20 a day I'd have lost just over £15000 and at £30 a day it would have been £22,590 !! .

As I said it's not about the money anymore but that's a staggering amount and if I'm honest most day's the losses would have been in thier hundreds' . The sad thing is that while I was in action I wouldn't have thought twice about the amounts I was getting through and only when fund's wherever they came from started drying up would I consider my next move as it was all about " Keeping the addiction alive , feeding it and keeping that fire stoked" ! .

I guess that's why we find it soooo hard to let go of with all the time and money invested ," I'd like a return thank you very much " and "I'm not leaving until I get it " ? . The times I'd wanted to stop gambling , the promises to myself on the back of a bad losing day that " I'll never again give those bookies my hard earn't money " " f**k em " full of remorse and tears rolling down my cheeks , " Poor Me " i cried and how I cried !! .

The next morning duly arrived and up I got full of positivity for the day ahead but not for the fact that today I wouldn't gamble just the fact that Today would be the day I won it all back and just like every other day , yesterday's thought's pushed aside as my Compulsive Gambling once again returned like the " Grim Reaper " to walk alongside me , how quickly I forgot the daily pain ? .

So why did it all change ? , Honestly no idea but change it had to otherwise what was left of my life ahead , misery , debt , the loss of everything and everyone that I held so dear and so the list goes on , I just let it all go , fed up with going 10 rounds everyday , a lightweight against a heavyweight it was alway's only ever going to end when I threw the towel in the ring and said " No more " .

Today's a good day 🙂 , No !! It's a great day , just as many before it as I choose once again " Life over Gambling " :))

:):):)

Cathyx