I’m starting this diary in the hope that provides me with some motivation.
I’ve been here before but I haven’t contributed for a long time and I’ve lost my login/forgot my username.
A bit about me; I’m in my mid 30s. Had healthy savings 2 years ago and have wasted more than that since. I’ve been an addict since I was 19.
I’ve wasted yet another large sum of money today and this simply can’t go on. It is killing me. I have debt. I need to get that under control.
I know I haven’t reached rock bottom yet because that doesn’t exist. You can always go lower.
Will try to update daily.
Hi David
I don’t know if you have come across my one and only post on this forum, it was a reply to someone who was going through what I went through. I’ll keep it short - I had to hit rock bottom for me to finally laugh at myself and stopped gambling. I’m a single mum of 2, I got evicted because I gambled rent money every month. Social services got involved because in their eyes it’s child neglect that I was made homeless although for some reason in my eyes, I always had an excuse - I was gambling to give my kids a better life. I kept gambling several years after being evicted and social services being involved. For me, rock bottom was when I gambled food money and went shoplifting for the kids to eat. That was it for me. I got caught & explained how I had gambled food money, the Tesco manager took his wallet out and paid for the stuff that I tried to steal. Yeah mother of the year I thought to myself.
I really hope in your case you don’t go any lower than I did. I will never forgive myself for the lies I made up to borrow money from families and friends for gambling & importantly for what I put my kids through. Good luck darling.
Good to see you are willing to try and ch age things. As you’ve said, you may not be at rock bottom, but as Gemma has so bravely posted, that’s probably a place you don’t want to go. Sometimes even when you get there, there’s more to come. For me it was losing my wife and home. I knew though I could make things so much worse by continuing to gamble. Gambling will rip your soul out, and then make you think you have a chance at redemption. It will do this over and over, until you have nothing left. Then it will want more.
Get everything blocked and don’t give gambling a chance. Do everything you can, even if that means giving your finances to someone else. Speak to someone. Gamblers are liars. We need the secret to be out there. Keep posting here. It’s a great way to offload.
There is a way out of this before it’s too late and you find your rock bottom. Takes a huge effort but it’s so worth it.
Stay strong 💪
I’m not sure if this is too personal, I’m sure admin will delete if it is.
Please don’t feel ashamed, I am not a gambler, but am the partner of, friend of etc. I also worked in a bookies for years.
I would see people in your exact situation day in/day out. I feel for you, just know that even though you had a substantial loss, it doesn’t need to continue. You can stop this, it’s all within your hands . I know so many people that find GA (gamblers anonymous) excellent.
Even if you are getting through this 1 second at a time, you’re still getting through it. Keep going
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