New Diary, changing my ways.

KICK 😉

No gambling today, everything feels like a battle at the moment but will get through this.

Hi StoneRoses, saw your post about leaving the 2015 challenge and that your having councilling. Just wanted to say that the fact that you put yourself out there slips and all is really something to be proud of. I'm part way through 12 weeks of councilling through Gamcare and what I'm starting to realise is that for me the gambling is a way of punishing myself. It's like I don't deserve to be happy or that's what I tell myself. I don't know you but I know you deserve to be happy, just like I do. Stay strong

hey mate cheers for that! I just feel like it puts a bit too much pressure on myself and i've relapsed a number of times over last 18 months but my gambling has been a lot more infrequent I've definitely made progress I feel counselling may be the key to developing the skills/tools to overcome this once and for all. I find it's the buzz that has dragged me in and when i'm too stressed or struggle to deal with my emotions i run back to it from time to time.

How you finding the counselling have you been gamble free during this time?

I'm 55 days gamble free. New years day was one of the worst days I've had and I know I have to change. I don't cope well with stress (like most gamblers) the counselling really helps as it really makes me look at the real reason why I gamble. For most gamblers' there's alot of s**t in and past and if we can come to terms with that the rest will follow. With the counselling the only advice I would give is to really open up. Don't keep anything back. For me it took alot out of me so I made a point of spending a hour with just me and the wife talking about the sessions. Make sure u talk to someone as I it can really hit u hard. Stay strong

Hi Stone,

Sending you positive and strong thoughts and remember it was only a blip, your journey of recovery has come much further than your blip your recovery is stronger than the cxxp addiction.

Stay strong and push through.

Suzanne xx

Yes stay strong i gave in a month ago and spent a whoping £5k in one night (what an idiot!) . I was then forced to quit cause i had no money left. The following week i spent the time wisely and blocked myself and emailed all the sites i could think of to block me and the bank cards if they could . I spoke to my bank to make sure i cannot go OD. I need to clear another OD then i will lessen the limit. Its very hard and I do struggle but I'm determined

Thanks for the advice qprloc12 it's quite daunting making that step as i've never talked too anybody fully face to face about this addiction so it may be overwhelming I might have to talk to my parents afterwards but will be hard to talk to them about something that is so secret, like deeply anyway.

Suzanne thanks I know i'm desperate to beat this once and for all can't keep making the same mistakes, know your pain Poblwc but least you have come through it to make a month we can only learn from these mistakes I hope.

Sorry to see you dropping out of the challenge and having your struggles, you are welcome back at anytime and I really hope you can get back on track and enjoy the rewards that recovery gifts us!

Keep strong mate and you'll get there. It's not the same for everyone. Some people can just stop when they decide or they hit rock bottom, others need some help. I have said it before but I have quit gambling 11 times and for over 100 days once but it's all different depending on the person. You to do what works for you and put the appropriate barriers in place so you don't slip again.

Good luck

Simon

Keep @ it Stone mate, you have a very hectic life but your priority right now must be to get your head back in the game! Don't throw away your future...It's still there for the taking!

You'll be glad to hear I'll be leaving you in peace for a while 😉 Please don't let your studies slip & keep fighting - ODAAT

Bornagain I will be back on the challenge when I feel ready and convinced that I wont be slipping up again!

New Start I'm with you there tried stopping so many times but the only time that matters is this one for now 🙂

ODAAT will miss your continued support hope I have my degree by time you return although motivation is at an all time low. I have developed my procrastination skills so much in this last week off work.

No gambling today, feel restless seing the footy scores from last night made me dream of a big win thinking all the favourites won but thats just natural I guess.

Not gambling today for a better tomorrow.

No gambling today, payday tomorrow always feel a little anxious around payday but will be transferring funds to parents like usual so no opportunity to gamble.

I've had a week off work and i've not realy done much, really need to get motivated and focused and get some structure into my life, should have been doing uni work but i've completely put it off. Want to get back into footy and running, stop smoking eat better, but can't be arsed at the moment ahh well.

No gambling today still feel a little restless and anxious so looking forward to my counselling assessment next wednesday!

Hi Stone,

That feeling of being restless and anxious is not nice, had that on Monday, it won't last push through it,,Pay day will soon be over, you will feel a lot better once your money has gone into safety.

Suzanne xx