New me

Hi Strange, I have a lot of sympathy for as I know going to work on the back of big losses is the worst. I work a lot of nights also and have had lots of similar situations in the last 6 months to what you are going through now. Not sure how I got through them to be honest but there have been a fair few mistakes at work I can tell you that! You just need to reset the clock I think, get a few days of abstinence under your belt again and then re-evaluate your approach perhaps to see where it is you might have gone wrong. Not sure quite how bad your problems are, 3k is a lot to blow but you can come back from this, just don't make any more mistakes. I have nearly 50k gambling debt and I earn pretty crappy money. I'm only 16 days gamble free but have a 5 year plan now in my head, it will be a very tough 5 years for me but it is definitely achievable if I'm disciplined. Just hang in there ok Strange.

Hi there just realised I've missed you off the Xmas challenge list. Really sorry about that. Your now on the list. Stay strong and just keep going. This is the best decision you ever made.

Hello again . I am gonna have to get stronger. I walk through the shops looking at 'normal people' does anyone know what I mean? I wish I was normal. I feel like I should have a big bell in front of me saying watch out ' gambler' I'm making a fresh start and from now I will not gamble. I got complacent and lost don't want to do that again so folks hope you can join me on this long journey and help me get back to being normal.

Hey Strange

I know EXACTLY how you feel about looking at 'normal' people

I always look at people and think 'look at them, nice car, nice house, no worrying about how much money they are going to lose today'

I just think everyone is living a nice concern free life because they don't have to deal with being a gambling every day of their life

Im jealous of everyone even though in reality a lot of people have problems I probably wouldn't want to have

But then I think could those problems be any bigger than gambling myself to an early grave on a daily basis?

Thanks Julie and boy and well done . I hope to follow your path of recovery. Thanks for the kind words I really need a kick up the whatsit. I am so determined and have learnt a hard lesson regarding complacency. This site is so important I must 'check in' every day without fail. I will do from now on ? I cannot divulge my dark secret to anyone other than people on this site. I am so ashamed.

Good morning

You know sometimes all we can do is try and if and when we fail we try again and that takes great courage there's so many out there that just give in and go back to gambling, u recognizeur problem and are seeking help and that's important to get through that 1st stage been in denial only leads to more problems

Now the 1st steps av been taken and ur willing to keep trying is now to learn from ur mistakes look at the reasons why u gambled the underlying issues start to understand what ur dealing with putting blocks in place is great at 1st but the if the desire to gamble is there a way will be found

Slowly ur life will turn around and a level acceptance will happen all the questions u ask won't get asked as much, there are no real answers just an understanding of who we are and what we are dealing with and a way forward to deal with it

When we are compulsive gamblers that is something that's in our nature and always will be all we can do is control that compulsion, when life is good and not many problems it will lie low when its not so good it will rise and be ready to take advantage

My fears were always when I will be normal when and how long do I need this site could I go it alone without any support, the answer for me is no I know I need this site but I can find that right balance I can now go a few days without posting but I do log on every day and read at least one post just for that reminder of what gambling can do

Complacency is the biggest way gambling comes back into our lives we think we can beat it and are normal again there's no cure but we can live a life of happiness and not let gambling play any part of it

keep getting that support keep trying no matter what and keep learning I assure u life will get better

Castle2

Julie and castle thank you so much for your kind words and the wisdom you have. I will try to avoid complacency and will certainly not gamble today. The problem I have is I have been determined before and faltered ? Whilst I now have no intention of returning to gambling, something takes over and I feel out of control. I am desperate to be successful at my new attempt so any advice re stopping those urges appreciated. Thanks again xxx

Strange

thanks for the kind words upon my thread, for you I hope you find a choice that you can carry the conviction of 100%

It has been said many times before and I believe it to be true.

To arrest the destructive gambling from your life you HAVE to want to.

you have to commit to a belief.

For me it is abstinence.That way with irony I become the winner gambling always kidded me I would be.

In your choice I wish you well

duncs stepping forward never back.

Thank you so much for your support. You are right I need to want to beat the addiction. That seems such simple advice but also so powerful. I not only want to beat it, I have to. I cannot get into debt anymore or should I say anymore debt. I am determined to beat it and I will because I want to . I will not gamble to day or tomorrow and I will look to finish the year gamble free. Guess what my New Years resolution will be xx

Already starting to feel physically better. Funny how not gambling gives a sort of inner peace, yet when gambling feel tense anxious etc. not gambling today

Still fighting could easily have given in last 2 days simply can't afford to. Hate what I have done to myself and my family with my horrible secret debt. Gonna try so hard not to falter.

Day 5 no gambling today or tomorrow

Still no gambling taken great heart reading other posts especially shiny wow inspiring x

Thanks Julie feeling good. Want to get through this month without a gamble. If I do it will be the first calendar month I have not gambled so will be Hugh milestone. Got to keep the big picture in mind. There are times when I feel really strong and I know whatever the situation, I won't be tempted. Other times I feel as though I just want to escape into the dark world. I know writing this helps me rationalise what I do and hope that it will serve as a deterrent to future moments of weakness. I am now gamble free 9 days and will not gamble today. Xx

Thanks Julie you are a great friend. No gambling and it's day 10 want to have lots of times when I feel positive like now. It's relatively easy when I am at work (night shift this week)