Day 58. Working to much, to much going on and it's all doing my head in! Roll on April things will calm down but March is gonna be one long month - for so many reasons.
Sticking close to this site at the mo as I keep getting urges and gambling thoughts plus with work I feel I need an outlet and a way to de-stress which in the past would lead straight to gambling but this time I don't want that, can't have that and won't have that!!
Day 61 and I'm still here still counting still bet free, not happy with the urges but I'm still here and I really want this. Had a chat with my Mrs and told her she needs to keep an eye on me these next two weeks. I told her I feel bad asking her as she has suffered enough at my hands and doesn't need anymore worry but bottom line is I need her to get me through and I know that I have to get through this to pay her back for that suffering she has had. Im determined to not bet at Cheltenham but I'm realistic and need to be 100% on guard. The next two weeks will be big.
Hi insanity,
Well done on 61 days and that is a big positive that you recognise these urges and what they can lead to,
100% on guard is the way forwards when we feel vulnerable,
Keep strong and keep guard tightly up.
Suzanne xx
Day 62 and nothing much to report. It's not been a good day but not a bad one either, no urges which is great but I just can't be bothered today. I got a lot of work to do but just feel like leaving it for another day the problem is the longer I leave it the harder it'll be to complete and the consequences will look a bit darker if it's clear I've been putting certain things off need to get my finger out. It's my day of tomorrow but may have to just do a couple of bits if I wake up with a little more life either that or Thursday is gonna be one busy day.
Well that was an uneccesaary ramble but just nice to post and keep this site close. I have to do this, to get through this year gamble free will really show such great commitment to my family and show my wife that I can give her the life she deserves, it may take a while but we'll get there.
Day 69. Ten weeks tomorrow!! but day 1 of Cheltenham.Will this be the first Cheltenham day of racing in ten years that I have no bet - YES IT WILL!!
Yeah baby first ever day done. Gotta be quick - bed time lol. Nite all and same again tomorrow! Happy because even though I knew I would resist I never thought it was possible, not having a bet at Cheltenham was like saying I wasn't going to eat, drink or even breath today, I had to bet it's what I do. Well I guess things have changed! Now I must sleep
Well done you, 70 days today, and getting through day 1 of Cheltenham,
Keep strong and keep winning,
Suzanne xx
Day 70 aka 10 weeks. Day 2 of Cheltenham no bet for me. Taking it all a day at a time looking forward to April and the three months point, I'd like to get to the national and the masters golf and not have a bet as along with Cheltenham there things I have always bet on so big challenges and also very rewarding challenges as it really would mean something to not bet on them. So two hours left of day two at Cheltenham then just two days and I could actually bloody do i! Can't believe it but I will do it all the same
Day 72 haven't had one bet at Cheltenham and won't be today. I think I've turned a corner. There has been urges and I've certainly been tempted to do what I tried to convince myself would be one harmless bet but no even if I won a grand it wouldn't feel as good as being able to tell my wife I haven't bet over Cheltenham. I will do this and onwards to the treble figure club!!
It's not a definite as the racing isn't over but it looks like I'm to have my first ever bet free Cheltenham. Did I miss it no was I tempted yes but that's to be expected. Im happy I'm not going to have to lie to my wife or anyone else. I'm changing my life and I've got a long way to go but I'm having a good start to a long journey.
Day78 and getting closer now to 90 days and the big three month mark. Confident I will get there be nice to be in the three figure club also. I would say I'm feeling good but I'm not, I'm knackered, 6 day weeks are taking there toll but the money is helping with the debts so I can't complain well I will but there you go. I will beat this thing, my next big tests will be Aintree and Augusta masters golf I'm comfortable with missing out on the horses since I have beaten Cheltenham but this will be the first big golf test but one I will pass. Might be nice to enjoy it for the sport rather than what I have riding on it.
Day 79. I will not gamble today!! Came on here today as I've been thinking about debt all morning mainly in a good way of how and when I'll be paying things off but it can be depressing and I looked at my pay slip today and it's the biggest I've ever had but I won't see a penny of it. Maybe I should use some to treat me and the Mrs but this year I want to dig deep and pay off as much as I can. The effects of gambling continue as they will do for a while but I need to use that as a positive and realise what gambling can do rather than let it drive me back there, as gambling offers no hope at all.
Day 80. Fed up of work and debts, that's my life. and it's all my own doing. WHY????? Can't change it tho I just got to deal with it. Not to wish my time away but I can't wait till January next year and hopefully celebrating a year gamble free but also a chance to see some debt gone and to write a new plan for the new year, get things progressing.
Just logged in my account and I see the number 85 staring back at me, can't really believe it, 90 days is always a benchmark I set, my first big milestone and I'm about to hit it and power through because I also love saying I'm in that treble figure club the 100+ days group, I've had that pleasure once in my 10 year gambling life but ultimately it didn't last, I have a feeling I've done between 5/6 months before so my first target is 90 then the century but then will be looking forward to the half a year mark which would really be massive especially considering what I would have got through, Cheltenham, the national, the golf masters. Then my aim would be to get to 7 months which I know would be a personal best of mine and I really think if I get that far I can see out the full year.
Now I maybe slightly getting ahead of myself but it's nice to be positive but I won't get complacent and I'll focus in on hitting the 90 and 100 day marks. Bring em on!
Congratulations, Insanity!
You are still young, and if you stop now you'll be surprised how fast the debts come down. Like you said at the beginning, you've got every reason in the world to do it - you and your wife want to start a family. 100 days, 7 months, a year...it's so much nicer having the quality time with your family, instead of in some grim male-dominated shop staring at the screen.
Good luck!
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