No looking back

I find mothers day bittersweet, I'm extremely lucky and great full for the amazing kids I have  but my heart hurts for my daughter who isn't with us.

Now every mothers day for the past 6 years, at some point during the day , I gambled.! But yesterday I didn't. I feel like that is a huge achievement for me as I find it a difficult day. Instead I through myself into keeping the day busy, lots of housework and going out with the kids, I actually didn't stop and sit down til 8pm ? but it worked for me and I'm proud I got through the day with no urges.

Not quite sure how to get through next few days, especially Monday, such a difficult day for me. A day which for the last 6 years I've gambled.

I'm also feeling really confused, my mental health team think I'm suffering a certain condition at the moment, but I don't, and its just really confusing me.

I'm on day 28 gf since my blip. 

I need to some how try and get through the lead up to Monday and Monday itself, so I won't be back on here till after Monday.

Take care all

Hi Stace,

So Mondays are particularly bad for you, for me Saturdays were the trigger point. Big race meetings, premier league, championship, league 1 not to mention South African horse racing from about 11 am & greyhounds too.

I'm just curious what is it with Mondays ?. Is that when the unlicensed blood suckers raise their ugly head on FB & social media with their promises of big prizes ?. Paper moons Stace that's what we all chase, you can almost feel it between your finger tips then an unexpected gust of wind comes to snatch it from our ***. A real win is when you're free from their clutches.

Best

Al

Hi al, 

Its not usually Mondays that is my problem, its just this coming Monday (4th april) as its the anniversary of my daughters death and for the past 6 years, on that day I've struggled so much that I've gambled. So I just want Monday over with, its a really painful date for me.

I'm happy to say I'm still staying away from fb, and don't miss it at all ?

Stace

Hi dave,

Thankyou for your kind post ?

hi stace, just wanted to pop by the day before to send my love, stay strong tomo, stay away from temptation.....come on chat at 1pm and 8pm for support etc....

u can do this xxx adam

Thankyou adam xx

4th April 2022 ?

So today is the first 4th April that I haven't gambled on in 6 years. After losing my daughter I escaped into the world of gambling. Her anniversary has always been really difficult and I would gamble on and off throughout the day and night. Today I haven't... and I'm going to bed feeling relieved and blessed to have my beautiful children , my amazing partner, my wonderful family and friends and I have my angel watching over us all ??

Wonderful great to hear xxx

39 days gf today, its passing pretty quickly. ?

I have had 3 nights of terrible sleep, things got too much early hours of this morning, I was exhausted but couldn't fall asleep, my mind was wandering to dark places and urges well and truly kicked in, so I reached out to gamcare and it just broke my thought pattern and after I fel asleep...thankyou to the advisor.! 

Reached out to mental health today , there being really supportive and I'm very greatful for the help and support during such a difficult time in my life. I'm going through something I've never experienced before, and its truly terrifying but I'm getting the help and just need to hope n pray that things get better soon.

So its nearly the start of the Easter long bank holiday weekend. I've got art n craft things to do with the kids the next couple days ,and lots of Easter eggs and surprises for Sunday for them. 

Cant belive I'm at day 42 gamble free after my blip. Those urges last night were intense, but I managed them and didn't give in. I'm so determined never to go back to the gambling life. I've got super tight blocks for online gambling which I'm truly greatful for, but the other way I gambled there are no blocks, but the good thing is, there's no one running them during night and early hours, they kind of stop late evening, so when I'm struggling which is usually at its worse late night and early hours when I can't sleep, I can't gamble that way and can't gamble online so I think I'm safe.

Hope everyone has a lovely Easter weekend  

Stace ??

Hi Stace,

Hope you had a lovely Easter weekend and I hope after your terrible few nights that your doing OK now.

Love Kate x

Aww Kate,  how lovely to hear from you. Easter was nice thanks and I'm doing OK. Hope your well ?

Stace x

Feel scared, lost and utterly defeated by life

Hi @stace 

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. 

I just wanted to encourage you to reach out to us for some support, on our Helpline (0808 8020 133) or via our Live Chat. 

Samaritans are also there 24 hours a day, if you need a listening ear. You can call them on 116 123.

Please don't be on your own with this. There is always help and support available. 

Best wishes, 

Susan

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