No looking back

Feel scared, lost and utterly defeated by life

Hi @stace 

I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling this way. 

I just wanted to encourage you to reach out to us for some support, on our Helpline (0808 8020 133) or via our Live Chat. 

Samaritans are also there 24 hours a day, if you need a listening ear. You can call them on 116 123.

Please don't be on your own with this. There is always help and support available. 

Best wishes, 

Susan

Forum admin

You are such a strong person, but you can be the strongest person in the world, if  the pressure gets too much you are going to struggle.

Firstly you need to relieve the pressure, which is easier said than done, but with creative thinking and saying `no` now and again you can start to do it, deal with and prioritize one problem at a time,and realize that not all problems can be solved.  

Seek appropriate help where needed, admitting that you may be  struggling is not a weakness, it is a sign that you are noticing which bits of your life you need help with and are trying to address.

Very importantly spend time and effort on yourself, a ruined you is no good to anybody least of all yourself, take time out every day for you, to relax and do the things you like to do even if that means sitting in a chair without a care in the world for an hour, it is not selfish in any way (because everyone benefits from a mentally healthy you) and really should become the norm.

Give yourself genuine praise for what you have achieved on the no gambling front.

Be proud of what an inspiration you are to others, because you really are.

You will get back to where you want to be, and i am looking so forward to reading it when it happens!!

Thankyou Susan and lids for your kind posts.

3.30am, been lying in bed since 9.30pm trying to get to sleep but havnt been able to drop off. Wish it was still Easter holidays so my kids were still home. Dont want them to go back to school. Mind well and truly in overdrive, just can't switch off. I'm so tired, got to the point now were I'm just crying, everything feels too much.

53 days gf and I'm proud but right now, id do anything to get that 'escape' gambling used to give me.

Hi

Going back to gambling never resolved any problems I Had in m y life.

Going back to gambling just simply made things much worse.

Living in fear was not helping my situation.

Regards wearing my masks reduced my fears.

I can do things to help myself and reduce my fears.

Mind well and truly in overdrive, could that be fears leading in to panic mode.

53 days gambling free is a great achievement.

Do not let your emotionl triggers hinder your growth and your recovery.

I use to live in fear escaping to the gambling 

Love and peace to everyone.

Dave L

AKA Dave Of Beckenham

Thanks for the post dave. 

So 54 days gf today.!

Hi

Living for today only.

Learning from the past, yet not living in the pains of my past.

Love and peace to every 

Dave L

AKA Dave Of Beckenham

I QUIT.....

IM DONE TRYING..

IM DONE FIGHTING

IM WARN OUT AND EXHAUSTED

@stace hey u ok x

Hi

For me there were days I wanted to give up on myself.

I went back to gambling so many times I lost count.

For what ever reason I kept going back, and in time I would understand my anger was an unhealthy reaction to my pains not healed. 

My anger was also an unhealthy reaction to my fears not having been faced. 

My anger was also an unhealthy reaction to my unreasonable expectations of people life and situations. 

In time I got to understand that I was hurting myself with my unreasonable expectations.

In my recovery I would learn that a lot of my pains were not healed.

Every time I went back to gambling I just could not heal my pains, and I could not heal the pains of gambling.

So today my recovery going to meetings is not about money lost, it is becoming healthier in myself.

The depression of gambling was horrific.

I did not have a clue as to how unhealthy I was.

If I did not keep going to meetings I would never have learned how to love myself.

If I did not keep going to meetings I would never have learned how to respect myself.

If I did not keep going to meetings I would never have learned how to enjoy my live or how to heal from the pains of my past.

Please keep with your recovery beyond gambling is a life so full of opportunites and living with out is icredible.

Love and peace to every one

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham UK

@stace  I hope your ok Stace,  don't let it defeat you, don't let it consume you.

You can do this

X

Hi Stace,

From 13 years psychosis skitsophrenia experience i thought id write to give you a bit of advice as when it started for me i became very isolated, didnt talk to friends and family, lost my job, tried to commit suicide and even ended up travelling on eurostar to france one day trying to solve the problem of my voices and what i thought was happening...... in reality absolutely nothing was happening everything was fine outside of my body and mind i was just unwell and the voices didnt actually do anything they werent real and when i focused on everyday real life real physical things my life got back to normal.

Risperidone is very good i was on it a number of years, a couple of times i refused to take it believing in what my voices were saying, this didnt help at all, allways take all prescribed medications docters are there to help and they do.

I also thru the early stages when i lived independently ended up in different places at all hours of the day sometimes without even having shoes on..... with this in mind stace whilst in the early stages try and stay at home.... its safe there and no harm will ever come to you in your own home (voices may say differently but they arent real!!!!!!)

So take the meds prescribed and stay safe.....

All my love thru this time Adam xxx

Thanks for your posts littlemix, dave and secret ?

Adam..thankyou so very much for your post. Youve made me feel like I'm not alone with this..I'm in a very scary place right now. Hospital has been mentioned a fair few times but I want to stay home with my kids who are also having support whilst I'm ill. As for going out, your so right, couple weeks ago I did leave my house, didn't return til early hours. Being home is definitely safer. 

Again thankyou ?

Hi

I am glad you get some thing from the postings.

In recovery we learn from our unhealthy life style and move on to some healthy habits.

For me it was not healthy for me to be a loner disconnected from every one.

Being in recovery I got to know and understand myself more.

To exchange unhealthy habits in to healthy habits.

Just to abstain from gambling only meant I was stop hurting myself.

Recovery program is abstain and yet even more it is about learning to heal our pains and trauma of our life.

Being alone in a very scary place fear and panic take over.

Hence from meetings you get telephone lsits where you are able to share how vulnerable you are and reduce your fears.

Being home and feeling secure will help in your recovery.

Not being alone and abstaining is definitely safer and healthier.

Love and peace to every one

Dave L

AKA Dave of Beckenham UK