No looking back

Day 19, I'm not keeping count personally as I've decided its too stressful, but it shows me when I log into gamcare.

I'm doing OK, no urges which is good. Art therapy going well. Mental health improving. Kids got 1 week left in school then there off for 7 weeks summer hols. Thinking of ways to fill the times, lots planned ?

Take care all.

Cant cope with this addiction any longer. How i wish I could turn back time. Its destroying everything. Why do I use it to escape. I hate my life 

@stace, 

Thank you for using the forum and I am sorry that you are feeling like this currently. 

Please make use of the services available to you should you need them. 

In the first instance, if you feel like you are unsafe please call the emergency services on 999.

You can also dial NHS 111 (option 2) to speak with the mental health crisis team. 

We are also available 24/7 via: 0808 8020 133 and via webchat here: https://www.gamcare.org.uk/get-support/talk-to-us-now/

Please reach out for support if needed. 

Ben

Forum Admin

Thanks forum admin, I'm ok ?

HUGE breakthrough in mine and my sisters recoveries. I was gambling using my sisters accounts, she let me, she was also gambling bad. Things happened in her life a couple days ago and I mentioned gamstop again to her. She was finally ready and signed up ??? I'm happy beyond belief. Now neither of us can gamble. We are on this journey together and I will support her every way I can.

Kids are on week 2 of summer holidays, I love having them home. We've already had some lovely days out. I'm much happier now that I have no way to gamble. Started uniform shopping x5, so expensive, glad I'm not wasting my money. My partner knows about my lapse, I was honest with him. My mental health meds are kicking in and I'm starting to feel happier.

Onwards and upwards for both, myself and my lovely sister.

?

It made my day coming on here and reading this.

Sounds like your sister quitting is the final piece in your own jigsaw to kick on.

Now you have no access to gambling and also the added extra of your sister and yourself helping each other, i can only see good things ahead.

To hear you say you are feeling much happier and your post on my own recovery diary made my weekend and was the icing on the cake for my personal milestone.

The very best of luck to you and your sis, and best wishes to all your family you`ve all had it hard,enjoy the time the school holidays bring, trust me they grow up so quick, before you know it they've flown the nest.

And at last i can say this again ``Youve got this!!`` (just dont pressure yourself)

One very happy and contented lids19635.

Ahh thanks lids.

Recovery going well for both myself and sister, its such a relief knowing I can no longer gamble. Mental health much better and I've signed up to slimming World. Went to the first one last night. I've neglected my body and self care so its now time to take care of it and find some me time for exercise and healthy eating. I'm halfway through buying the kids schools uniforms, not too much left to buy ?

Loving the kids being home from school, making memories. 

Hope everyone on here is ok and doing well.

Stace ?

Still gamble free and feeling better mentally and stronger each day. 

Took kids on train today to a seaside town. We had such a lovely day, got there lunch boxes and pencil cases n stationary ready for school. We had lunch out, went to beach, had ice cream..was perfect. The past few summer holidays I've hated them, as I was so unwell I struggled badly with gambling and my kids. This year is so different, I'm loving having them home. I've bought most of there school stuff and were making lovely memories and having days out, things I couldn't do whilst so unwell and gambling.

Not so long a go I reached breaking point, something had to give, I sat for hours thinking about my life, my kids  , my future and I got to the point were there was 2 choices, I had to either give up on life and leave this world and pain or I had to fight. That night I tucked my kids into bed and there hugs and I love yous made my decision,  to fight. I didn't want to end things but I also couldn't carry on with the way my life was, so im fighting. I've got alot of support around me and I'm feeling happier every day, I'm coping better and I'm greatful, greatful to myself, that I've chose to fight. I'm finally smiling and laughing and the difference in my kids is unbelievable.  Mums happier,  there happier.

I've not had any urges to gamble apart from 1 night,  about a week ago  and I used my coping skills to get through them. My blocks are super tight right now. 

Stace ?

*add, didn't mean I hated my kids, meant I hated the summer holidays. Read that back and it could be taken the wrong way with the way I worded it

Hi stace great to see you are getting help you got this I don’t post much as I should some good news me & mrs scotty have become grand parents we got Beautiful granddaughter? do you know how Stephen is getting on or has he left ? 
   Scotty??

Aww Scotty thats wonderful news, congratulations ?

Hope your well. I don't know how he is I'm afraid, not spoke to him in a while.

Enjoy being a grandfather and take care

Stace ?

Currently sat in park with the kids, its so quiet here, kids are having fun and I'm thinking how much things have changed in just a few weeks. Just a few weeks ago, I wouldn't of been able to take the kids out on my own, my mental health was so bad, I was gambling loads,, things were a mess. Now ,my mental health is much better, I've got a long way to go but things are good, I've got loads more confidence and I'm feeling really good. I've not gambled and its so good having spare money. I've been able to take kids on days out, buy there uniforms and give them treats. Were going to go get ice creams soon, but I'm taking a minute to reflect on how far I've come and how good things are right now. I'm happy, and thats all I've ever wanted ??

Enjoy the weather folks ? 

Stace

So good to hear that you are doing so much better, hope things keep going the right way!!

Thankyou lids, hope your well.

Sooo I'm finally starting to do things for me ? i signed up to spinning World 2 weeks ago and its going really well. I've started driving lessons which is also going really well. And best of all, I'm not gambling and feel good ?

stace ,

Fantastic news not just taking up new hobby to divert you from gambling but learning a new skill. When you've a driving license your opportunities increase 10 fold regardless of academic skills. From driving a taxi ( many women do in this day & age ) to delivering take away food it really doesn't matter.

You'll clip the kerb whilst practicing a 3 point turn, you'll forget to indicate, you'll roll backwards whilst practicing a hill start but don't let MH issues convince you that you can't do it. It's like stopping gambling, if you want it bad enough you'll get there.

Next time you walk the kids to school while the rain is lashing down remember that there's an opportunity to drive them there dry, safe & remember when feelings of isolation come knocking whilst your partner is working there's an opportunity to jump in a car & talk to someone.

Best Wishes

AL